Can't Fall in Love Without You (Christian Yelich)

58

Christian and Ivy's flight to Milwaukee landed at 12:35 pm, which meant that Elizabeth would still be at work when they got home . . . And that Reilly would still be at daycare.

As if he hadn't waited long enough to hold his baby boy.

Reilly and I can't wait to see you and Ivy. There's lunch in the fridge. We love you so much, Christian.

Christian sighed as he glanced at the text while he tried to maneuver Ivy and their luggage into the house. Once successful, he put Ivy on the ground. "Mama? Wiley?" the little girl questioned, looking around the room and then up at her very tall father.

"They'll be home soon, Ives. Why don't we make lunch and watch a movie?"

Ivy smiled and found her special chair in the living room while Christian grabbed her a blanket and started Beauty & the Beast for her. It was cold in the house. Ellie must have put the heat on an energy saving setting, so he went to turn the temperature up before making Ivy a grilled cheese sandwich.

Ellie had left all the ingredients for tacos in the fridge, but he wasn't hungry.

He wouldn't be able to bring himself to eat until Reilly was safe in his arms.

***

Elizabeth and Reilly didn't arrive home until 5:30 pm, as traffic was bad on the way home from daycare. Christian had been pacing for the past thirty minutes by the time he heard the key in the door. Thinking about all the things he'd say to her. Thinking about all the kisses he was going to give his son. Thinking about all the time he missed.

As soon as Elizabeth opened the door, Christian was waiting for them, an excited Ivy smiling in his arms. "Mama!" left Ivy's lips as soon as she saw her mom's face. She reached her arms out for Elizabeth to take her while Christian immediately grabbed Reilly's carrier from her hand.

They exchanged children rather than hellos. Christian took the carrier into the living room and removed Reilly as quickly as he could, tears immediately pouring down his face once the boy was secure in his arms.

He had missed everything. Reilly was bigger, longer . . . Had more hair. His face was more expressive. He was more filled out. Everything was different. Christian had missed absolutely everything, and there was no way to make up for it. It was a loss . . . Another loss.

"Christian?" her soft voice called out to him. He had hardly noticed her . . . Too focused on his little man. . . . Who wasn't as little as Christian wanted him to be.

"Hi," he choked out through his tears.

Elizabeth took a seat next to him on the couch, Ivy's arms wrapped tightly around her neck. "I'm sorry," she said gently – unable to find the right words and unable to touch him with Ivy so attached. "I love you, Christian. You're home now."

Christian just nodded while staring intently at his son. "He remembers me, right? I'm still his daddy?" He tried to wipe a few tears out of his eyes, but they just kept coming.

"Christian, he's smiling . . . Of course he remembers his daddy." At this point, Ivy crawled over to Christian to ogle her little brother.

"Hello Wiley," she said softly, leaning over to give her brother a kiss on the forehead and then giggling before making her way back to Elizabeth's lap.

Reilly giggled too, and Christian smiled for the first time in days. Elizabeth saw it, and the heaviness in her heart lifted a little bit. "You should feed him," she whispered.

"Okay," he said with a nod while Elizabeth stood up to prepare Reilly's bottle.

***

He had barely said anything to her since she walked through the door. She knew she deserved it, but that didn't make the situation any less painful.