Can't Fall in Love Without You (Christian Yelich)

45

Two things:

1. Check out Ship to Wreck under opesorry . . . We're about 30 chapters into writing it, and it's a good, angsty time.
2. Disclaimer for some self-harm below,

___

31 weeks pregnant.

...she was gigantic. Seriously. She'd seen houses smaller than she was. Elizabeth sighed and hoisted herself out of her chair, rubbing her belly.

"Oh Reilly... Mama loves you," she smiled as he kicked where her palm was. "Let's go deliver Mrs. Johnson's lil girl then go home, yeah? We can make daddy dinner for when he gets home."

Christian was in Cincinnati playing an afternoon game, so he'd be home around 8. She loved when he had afternoon games because he was home for dinner, so she could always make sure he ate. Especially after a road series.

Elizabeth sighed and headed to the delivery ward, waddling a bit like a penguin, when suddenly the ground slipped from under her and she fell. It felt like slow motion but she couldn't stop herself, stupidly throwing her left hand back to break her fall.

"Liz! Oh my god are you okay?" Kaitlin was by her side quickly, gently helping her up and taking her wrist.

"I think it's just sprained. I'm fine, Kate. Really," she smiled at her friend. She was embarrassed as hell, cheeks flushing. She just fell on her ass in front of coworkers... her stupid pregnancy balance. "Baby boy is moving around like crazy, still, so he's okay too. I just slipped."

She knew it could've been way worse. But she didn't want to dwell on it - there was a baby to be delivered.

***

On the way home from work, her wrist was still bothering her quite a bit so she stopped at Target. She grabbed a wrist brace and Tylenol and went to the baby section, smiling at all the new fall baby clothes. Warm colors, corduroy, and vests galore... she was in heaven. She grabbed a few things and some more super soft swaddle blankets before heading to check out.

Christian would be home in an hour or so, so she wanted to make sure that he had dinner waiting.

She was making steak, potatoes, and green beans, because Christian had a phenomenal game and she wanted to celebrate. But she could also see how exhausted he was. So it'd be dinner then bed... for both of them.

"Ellie?" She heard his gentle voice call out - he was always so scared that she'd left.

"Kitchen, sweetie," she smiled softly and wrapped him in a hug.

"He's getting so big... you look so beautiful," Christian smiled and held her belly so tenderly Elizabeth almost teared up.

"Thank you, Christian. Miss Ivy is asleep and I was thinking we should eat and sleep right away," Elizabeth smiled and sat him down, handing him a plate.

And then he saw it.

"Ellie? What happened to your wrist? Are you okay?" He was panicking. His Ellie was hurt. "Sit down. I'm going to call a doctor," he whispered, tears in his eyes.

"I slipped at work and sprained my wrist. I'm okay, Christian..."

His heart was going 100 miles per hour and he could feel the walls crashing in. Ellie was hurt at work. Ellie was hurt at work carrying his baby... their Reilly, and he wasn't there to protect her.

He couldn't breathe, hands trembling as he tried to get his phone to call an ambulance... he couldn't lose them. The trembling suddenly calmed and he looked at his hands to see that they were on her perfectly round bump. Where their baby boy was doing cartwheels.

"We're okay, Chris. I promise," she said softly and put her hands over his. "I just slipped..."

Christian nodded, his eyes still wide and full of fear. "You promise? You're okay? He's okay?" He begged, his heart starting to slow.

"I'm okay. He's okay. Let's go to bed, babe," she said softly, clearing their plates and taking his hands, going to the bedroom.

***

"I'm sorry. She fell down the stairs at work and hit her head. She didn't make it. We tried everything we could, but the baby didn't make it either."

Christian snapped awake, sweat pouring down his back and face, mingling with his tears. He couldn't breathe. His chest was being squeezed, his heart absolutely pounding against his rib cage. Elizabeth was sleeping so peacefully... he couldn't wake her. She was growing a human. She needed her sleep.

Christian gently untangled himself from her arms and went to the bathroom, hands shaking as he silently locked the door. All he could see was her blood. Deep red. Pooling underneath her. Christian clenched his hands and winced when he broke the skin. It distracted him. The tiny bead of blood took his mind off of Elizabeth's blood.

Christian wasn't thinking when he grabbed the razor. He just knew that the sight of his own blood took the nightmares of Elizabeth out of his mind.

He knew he couldn't cut too deep. But the sting of the razor against his wrist... the drops of blood immediately coming to the surface...

It took the pain away. He had his Elizabeth. He had his Ivy. He had his Reilly.

They were all okay. And all he needed to do was a couple swipes of a razor. A little bit of his own blood. He could lose his own blood. He could hurt himself.

He couldn't see Ellie lose blood. He couldn't lose her.

He pulled his sleeves down and went back to their bed, wrapping his arms around his beautiful girlfriend and her perfect belly.

"I love you," he whispered and kissed her temple.

"I love you, too," she whispered, her eyes still closed. "I think I'm gonna take maternity leave early."

Christian's heart soared, a touch of worry lifting from his heart.

"I know you love your work, beautiful. If that's what you genuinely want, I'll support you 100%. I'd love to have you home, but I also love that you're so smart and so passionate about your job." Be supportive. You love her. She needs you 100%.

"Hmm. I know. I'll go back after he's born. I think it's just safer," she hummed, curling closer to him. "Love you."

And she was asleep again, but now Christian was more confident she'd be okay.