Can't Fall in Love Without You (Christian Yelich)

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Ellie could feel gentle hands pulling her hair back, a large hand gently rubbing her back. Christian had been the most doting husband ever, making sure that she  didn't have to do anything strenuous. He made her every meal and made sure that anything that came up as an aversion was eliminated from the house.

He really was the sweetest, and she hated that her hormones ended with him on the receiving end of horrible things.

"Don't fucking touch me. It's your fault I'm hurling every 10 minutes." Like that. Jesus, Ellie.

"I'm so sorry, beautiful. I promise that it'll be worth it. Imagine our beautiful baby boy being laid on your chest... I'm so sorry that you aren't feeling well," he sounded genuinely apologetic, and Elizabeth hated herself for being such a bitch.

"I'm sorry," she sighed, leaning in his arms, just so exhausted. "You deserve to be happy," she shrugged, her head resting on his chest.

She didn't see the flash of pain on his face or the way he put on a mask of not caring, but she felt the harsh swallow from her new husband.

"If... if you genuinely don't want this," she could hear how hard it was for him to get the words out. "I love you. I... I'll support you in whatever decision you make. I don't want you to carry my... our... a baby if you don't want th-it," he was close to tears and he was shaking. It was a far cry from his demands the first time she found out she was pregnant with his baby.

It shocked Elizabeth, actually. That man adored the idea of having another baby. She'd seen the onesies that he bought already... but he loved her so much that he'd be willing to break his heart to make sure she was happy.

She hated herself for thinking about it for a second.

"No... this is our baby," she said softly, a gentle hand on her tummy. She did love their baby. She was just... apprehensive. Reilly was only 10 months old. He was so young. She felt so guilty that she was having a baby so soon into her baby's life. Hearing the statement of support that sounded like it physically pained Christian made her feel so guilty. He thought she didn't want their baby.

She was scared and it wasn't planned. Ellie had everything planned. She had her entire life on a schedule, and she didn't start straying from that schedule until she met Christian. But she wouldn't have it any other way. And this was no different.

***

She could practically smell Christian's excitement, and she couldn't help but feel jealous. She wanted to be that excited. She wanted to be that happy.

She loved their baby, but she wasn't excited. She was scared.

"I've never been to a first appointment," he smiled at her, the small flecks of green in his eyes especially prominent in his excitement. Basically, her husband was a puppy. "I can't wait," he grinned and gently rubbed her flat belly before taking her hand.

"It won't look like a baby yet, Chris," she said quietly, gently squeezing his hand.

"I know. But they're still our baby, so I can't wait," he shrugged and focused on the road. He sounded so... disheartened by her attitude. And she felt so terrible about it. She didn't want to suck the joy out of him...

"Let's go see our baby," he said quietly when they got to the doctor's office, holding her hand and just looking at the ground.

Jesus Christ, Elizabeth.

"I can't wait," she said honestly and squeezed his hand, looking him in the eyes so he could see she was being honest. She could see the way he relaxed and she really didn't want to think about what he was thinking about.

They went through all the basics of the first appointment, and Christian was hanging onto the nurse's every word. He was taking notes. Then, an ultrasound tech came in with the machine and Ellie could feel the excitement radiating off of Christian in waves.

It really was so sweet.

"Let's take a looksie," the tech smiled and did the ultrasound, finding the little blob instantly.

"Oh, Ellie," he smiled and squeezed her hand. "He looks like a lil jelly bean," he whispered, his lips against her temple.

"Still stuck on him being a boy?" Ellie smiled softly, gently kissing him and looking over as the heartbeat was heard in the room.

"Oh, god. Ellie," he whispered, tears rolling down his cheeks. "I love you."

"I love you, too," she smiled a bit, tears rolling down her cheeks. Their baby was okay.

"Everything looks beyond perfect, you two. You're measuring at 8 weeks 3 days, so I would say May 15th, 2023 is looking like a good due date," Kaitlin smiled as she looked over all of the information she was given. "Congrats, you two. I prescribed an antiemetic, Fludrocortisone for your low blood pressure, and also Prometrium to help up your progesterone, as yours was a touch low. But everything looks good. I'll see you back here in four weeks for the nuchal scan."

Their baby was okay. Christian was so excited.

Elizabeth just wished she was, too.

***

Ivy, Reilly, and Elizabeth were waiting for Christian to get home from work. Ivy and Elizabeth each had a brownie, while Reilly stared intently at the small bookshelf in their living room.

"Reilly? Wanna read?" Ivy saw her brother's gaze and smiled, going to get a book after finishing her brownie. She got up and grabbed Oh, The Places You'll Go! Before plopping next to her brother.

"I read for Ry-ry!!" Ivy grinned and kissed his chubby cheek. Her R sounds were getting so much better as she approached her third birthday.

Elizabeth watched as her beautiful daughter made up a story according to the pictures, the hesitation she was feeling beginning to melt away. As she made the most expressive faces, Reilly let out the most beautiful belly laugh, clapping his chubby hands.

"See, Ry! Is all dark. That's cuz he's sad cuz he's 'lone! Don't worry, Ry. You never 'lone. I is here," Ivy smiled and hugged her little brother, the huge grin on her face only amplified by the chocolate crumbs around her lips.

Good god. Their babies were perfect. Elizabeth wiped her tears, a gentle hand on her belly. She couldn't wait to see Reilly be a big brother... to see Ivy show him the ropes.

Elizabeth was startled out of her thoughts by Christian's key in the lock and the closing of the door behind.

"Ellie? Baby, what's wrong?" he panicked, picking up and holding Ivy who ran into his arms. Without thinking, he used his light tan sleeve to wipe her mouth.

"Nothing's wrong, Chris... We're having a beautiful baby... and I'm so excited," she whispered and picked up Reilly to join the group hug.

Her family would always be perfect. No matter how many kids eventually joined the group hug.