Can't Fall in Love Without You (Christian Yelich)

77

"Daddy! You hit ball far!!" Ivy grinned when Christian went to pick her up from the daycare center next to the clubhouse. "I seed I seed!!"

"You saw?" he smiled, picking his daughter up and holding her on his hip. "Should we go home and see mom? Maybe grab some of her most favoriteist dinner?" he suggested, wiping the yogurt off of her cheek.

"Okay!! Tacos?" Ivy smiled, waving bye to Travis as they walked past him.

"Tacos sound wonderful, Ives," Christian smiled and settled her into her carseat and checked his phone.

I think you hit that ball to our yard. Reilly was jumping up and down. I'm proud of you.

Elizabeth texted him every game, making sure that he knew that she was watching and that he felt supported.

And it helped so much. He felt like he was genuinely wanted. That Elizabeth was actually happy to be with him.

He needed those texts.

***

When Christian got home, he could tell instantly that his help was needed. "Reilly or Arlo?" he asked, sensing that Elizabeth needed help.

"Arlo. He just needs to be held," Elizabeth was frantic, trying to take care of Reilly as Arlo screamed.

"Hi buddy," Christian said softly, gently taking Arlo and rocking him. "I love you, handsome boy," he said softly, beaming as the crying ceased almost immediately.

"He is such a daddy's boy," Elizabeth smiled softly, picking Reilly up and getting him ready for bedtime. "And you're mama's Ry guy," she smiled and kissed their eldest son's chubby cheek.

This was their routine - Christian worked, then when he came home they each took a baby and got them ready for bed. Ivy read bedtime stories, Christian did bathtime, and Elizabeth took care of baby massages. As Elizabeth fed Arlo, Christian and Ivy gave Reilly a bottle of Elizabeth's milk.

They were a well oiled machine. After the boys were asleep, they cuddled Ivy for an hour before her bed time.

It was so domestic, and Christian was so unbelievably happy to have that kind of life. He had a beautiful wife. Three perfect kids.

He couldn't believe that he wanted to leave this life.

"Chris? You okay?" Elizabeth said softly, gently running a hand up and down his back. "Talk to me, babe," she pleaded, terrified of his thought processes.

"Yeah, I am. I'm so good," he smiled and gently kissed her. "I love you so much, Ellie. I hope you never feel otherwise. You're every good thing in my life, and I am so happy to have you by my side for eternity."

Elizabeth was floored. He sounded genuinely happy... God she loved that man.

"I love you, too," she whispered, gently kissing him, looking into his eyes as she pulled away. She could feel the intensity between them. The tension. It felt like them again. She wanted more.

"Let's go to bed," she said softly, standing up and taking his hand.

Christian took her hand and went to their bedroom, taking a moment to take his wife in. She was so unbelievably beautiful. The way her skin glowed. The way her hair flowed down her back. He was so lucky.

"You're so beautiful," he whispered, hands shaking. He wanted her so bad... but he was terrified. He still didn't really understand himself or what he was feeling. He just knew that he loved Elizabeth with everything in him.

"Thank you," she said softly, wrapping her arms around Christian and gently kissing him. "You look so good, babe. Seeing you trot the bases..." she smiled softly, playing with the waistband of his sweats.

"I love you," he whispered and gently guided her to the bed. "I love you so much," he whispered and caught her lips in a passionate kiss. God he missed this. Missed the closeness... Missed the feelings.

"I love you," Elizabeth smiled back, pulling off both of their shirts and gasping as Christian immediately started to suck on her chest. It had been so long.

"Can I show you how much?" Christian asked softly, his hands hovering over the waistband of her sleep shorts. He was nervous - why was he so nervous?

"Please," she whispered, arching up so he could pull them off. "I missed you."

"I'm here," he whispered, pulling her shorts off and gently kissing her thigh. "I'm here to stay," he said quietly, awkwardly kissing down to her core. He didn't know why he felt like this was his first time. But he felt so... inept.

"Fuck, Chris," Elizabeth gasped, clutching the bedsheets. She felt nothing different. She felt the same intensity. The same love.

"I love you," he couldn't stop saying it. Over and over. It helped with the nerves.

"I love you," Elizabeth whispered, moaning as he entered her. It had been so long, but it finally felt like they were them again. They finally felt together.

Christian made sure to worship Elizabeth, ensuring that she came first. She deserved the world. She deserved so much, and all he knew how to do at the moment was sex... and even that was sketchy.

"Oh Christian," Elizabeth cried out, coming hard around him. "Oh god. Oh god," she gasped, kissing him deeply.

She had no clue how awkward Christian felt. "Cum, baby. Cum for me," she whispered, pulling the condom off of him and deep throating him all in one motion.

The response was instant, with Elizabeth swallowing every last drop like always.

"I love you, Christian. And I'm so proud of you," she whispered, holding him close to her.

Christian needed that. More than the sex. He needed to know that he was doing okay.