Can't Fall in Love Without You (Christian Yelich)

66

Elizabeth hadn't left bed all morning, and Christian was concerned. She was a go getter, and it made him nervous that she hadn't even interacted with either of their children. "Elizabeth?" he questioned softly, climbing into bed next to her while Reilly and Ivy had their afternoon nap.

"Yeah?" she responded, slowly and uncomfortably turning to face him.

"Are you hungry?" His voice was a little nervous. "Baby boy needs to grow, and you haven't eaten anything yet."

"I wouldn't mind a glass of water," she requested, closing her eyes.

"I was thinking something with calories," Christian whispered, touching her cheek.

"I can't eat right now." She couldn't. The pain was too intense.

"Okay, but I'm going to try again later." He had to. She needed to eat . . .

Elizabeth nodded, placing one hand on her tummy. "I just want to be happy," she breathed out. "But I can't be. It hurts too much. And I feel like I can't do anything. No work. No exercise. I'm broken."

Christian watched the tears hit her eyes and immediately wiped them away for her. "We're going to get through this, and there's a bright side in this mess: we can all be together for Spring Training as a family."

His words only made Elizabeth cry harder because she knew she should be working. She shouldn't be going on a six-week vacation with her family.

Christian swallowed his hurt. "I'm sorry you're out of work for a bit, but I promise you everything is going to be okay." That was the best he could offer her, and he knew it was pathetic.

"It's not your fault, baby," she breathed out as a sharp pang hit her pelvis.

Christian was slightly comforted by her words, but it didn't take all of his anxiety away. Elizabeth was his rock, and he wasn't as strong as her. If she was breaking, how were they going to hold everything together? This was his fault. She had told him she wasn't ready for baby number three . . . And now this.

Christian cleared his throat. "I'll find us a great rental in Arizona, okay? Big backyard, pool, some space where you can relax, a nice little office, so you can do some research and writing. I know you want to do more of it, so why not start now?" He kissed her cheek, and was surprised when he saw a small smile form on her mouth.

"You're right. I can still do research and write." Work. She needed work.

Christian was just glad he finally did something useful. He needed to be useful.

***

Christian watched as Elizabeth sorted through baby clothes at Target. Girl baby clothes . . .

"You wanted a girl, didn't you?" he asked softly, resting a hand on the small of her back.

"Maybe a little. Just a tiny bit," she replied, biting her bottom lip.

She saw the disheartened look wash over Christian's face. "I'm sorry," he whispered.

"Oh my God, Christian, no. Don't be sorry. I'm thrilled to be having another son with you. I just . . . Thought a girl would be fun. That's all." She gave him a warm, tight hug in the middle of Target. "I wouldn't change a thing." She wouldn't. She had Ivy. She had Reilly. And now she'd have another sweet baby boy to fill their home with even more love.

***

Getting things ready for Spring Training was a nightmare with two kids, a very anxious Christian, and a suffering Elizabeth.

But they made it to their temporary home, and everyone was in one piece. Ivy even had a cast-free wrist, and she was very excited to show it off to the clubhouse.

"Look Travis," she said, sitting on Shaw's lap and displaying her bare arm right in front of his face on the first day of full team workouts. "No owie!"

"Wow, Ivy! That's incredible." He kissed the top of the toddler's head, and she giggled. "You're so brave that you scared the owie away."

Travis watched Ivy's dad sulk at his locker. "Yo, Yeli. What's wrong?"

"Oh, you know, the usual. Just being a shitty dad and husband."

"You need to not be this hard on yourself. What's going on?"

"Reilly is sick, and I'm leaving my poor, suffering wife alone with him. I'm a fucking asshole. I should be home taking care of him and relieving her of a little stress. I should be taking care of her too. She's in so much pain, and there's nothing I can do."

"Is Elizabeth mad at you?" Travis asked, raising an eyebrow. It wouldn't be like her to be upset with Christian for having to work. She was a workaholic, and she appreciated the quality in others, including her husband.

"Of course not. You know she's the best . . . But she's on her feet more than she should be. Chasing after the kids. Making all our meals. Working herself to death. It's my fault if she has any more complications, Travis." It was. It'd be all on him. He was going to hurt his wife and baby.

"Chris, you need to learn that some things are out of your control. Are you still going to therapy?"

He wasn't. He was neglecting his appointments, and Elizabeth was on his case about it. Now Travis would be too. "I'll find someone local," he sighed.

But he wouldn't.

He was too busy, and he'd continue to believe he was failing at everything. Because he was.