Can't Fall in Love Without You (Christian Yelich)

56

Christian couldn't wait to get home to his family after six grueling weeks of Spring Training. His baby boy was going to be so big.

He smiled as he turned the key into the lock of their front door. Ellie was going to be so excited that he was able to get home a day early.

"Ellie?" he called out as he entered the house. "Elizabeth?" he asked again when he received no response.

Still, no one answered.

He walked into the living room and noticed new family photos lining the walls. He smiled at the thought of his Elizabeth taking time to hang up photos of their family, so he took a closer look.

He wasn't the man in the photographs holding his son, arm proudly wrapped around Elizabeth. There was a dazzling ring on her finger, but it wasn't the one he placed on it.

It was George, Ellie's smart, well-dressed hot shot lawyer ex.

Christian woke up startled, his heart racing, a few beads of sweat forming on his forehead.

It was just a dream. He was still Reilly's dad. Ivy was sound asleep in bed next to him, releasing tiny breaths. He was still her dad, too.

He took a deep breath of his own and looked at the clock — 5:30 am Arizona time. Ellie was probably starting to get ready for work in Milwaukee. Maybe she was breastfeeding their perfect baby, who Christian hadn't seen in person in three weeks. Just a few FaceTime sessions here and there. They didn't do anything to take away his anxiety, his pain.

Reilly was growing up without him.

Good morning, sweetheart. Have a wonderful day at work. I love you.

She responded instantly, easing his racing thoughts a bit.

Baby! You should be sleeping — like this baby boy right here. I love you too. Miss you like crazy. Halfway there. Three more weeks.

She had enclosed a picture of their son sleeping in her arms. He missed them both so much, and it was getting harder to carry on without them.

He already looked so much different.

Would Reilly even remember his daddy when Christian returned to Wisconsin?

***

Elizabeth checked her phone on her way out of work. Thirteen missed texts. Three missed calls — each of them more desperate than the next.

Chris, I'm fine. I promise. I'm going to pickup Reilly from daycare and then grab dinner with a friend. I'll FaceTime you when we get home. Love you!

He was being a little overbearing. He knew she was working and couldn't always check her phone. She didn't have his flexibility.

He needed to understand that.

***

Christian sighed when he read her text, disheartened she couldn't make time for him before dinner. This was starting to really hurt. The pain felt real and familiar. Something akin to loss, but not quite . . .

He continued to make Ivy's dinner, unsure of whether or not to respond.

Ok.

That's all he could manage. He didn't want to be a bother. He was such a fucking bother.

***

George was always funny. She never spent time with him and didn't laugh. "I'm glad we could do this," he said with a smile as they shared small plates at his favorite restaurant.