This Gotta Be Love

Chapter 58

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" what if? paano na lang pag mahal pa pala kita?? Anong gagawin mo Matt?"

" baby.. " tila hirap itong paniwalaan ang sinasabi ko. He seems to not know what he's going to say. Nakakabigla naman ata ang mga salitang binitawan ko..

" paano nga pag mahal pa din kita? Ano ang gagawin mo?? Kasi, alam mo yung pakiramdam na , nagsisisi ako kasi iniwan kita. Kasi , wala eh. Galit ako sa ginawa ng Tatay mo.. He's the reason why we had that accident!! Kung di sya - -  " i stopped talking. Matteo's intently listening to me and i dont know what's running inside his head! Nakatinging lang ito at di nagsasalita.. "Matt.. i dont know if im regretting what ive done before.. naguguluhan ako.. kasi pakiramdam ko, tama ang desisyon ko pero nasasaktan ako.."

" did you ever think that hurting me would heal your pain? "

" hindi ko alam.. " tapat kong sagot dito. Naririnig ko ang bawat paghinga nya. Alam kong madami kaming dapat pag usapan, dapat ayusin.. pero hindi naman ako nagmamadali.. I want us to take it slow. i want us to finally be free of our past..

" i dont want us to be prisoners of our past.. But now i understand where youre coming from.. hurt me all you want" hinaplos nito ang pisngi ko saka muling nagsalita .. " But dont ever leave me.. "

" Matt.. "

" i can endure all the pains you could ever give, but never leave me again. Stay. In time, you'd be able to forgive him, but i can never forgive them all if it's you who will stay away from me. . Kung kinakailangang gamitin ko ang magiging anak natin na rason para lang di mo ako iiwan, gagawin ko! "

" but you dont love me anymore.. "

" fuck love, Sarah! I was so deeply inlove with you, yet you still chose to go! If there's more than what love is, that's the definition im trying to make you feel for you to Stay. . Loving you is never enough. Loving you is what made you go.. "

" im so sorry.. "

" dont be.. im more than inlove with you than the word love itself. But words will never be enough to show how much love is there in me that I could give you. . id  put them all in actions and make you feel how much it is in me that shall to be yours to experience.. "

" Matteo ko.. " naiiyak na ko. Tumutulo na ang mga luha..

" baby dont cry please.. "

" im so sorry for hurting you..i even promised myself to not love anyone..anymore, kasi hindi ko kaya na ang magmahal pa ng iba.. ikaw lang yung gusto ko"

" Oh my Sarah.. " hinalikan ito ako ng makailang beses. Im still sobing

" let's forget the past. Be my today and tomorrow..and Stop giving me less to hold on to, i want all the things that concern you be mine too. I want the whole of you locked in me. " he sealed our talk with his kisses. Magaan, puno ng pagmamahal ang klase ng binibigay nitong halik sa akin. Hindi ko kailanman pagsasawaan ang mga labi nito.

" hmm.. baby?" Pinigilan ko muna ang paghalik nito. He gave me a grin , dahil sa pagtawag ko dito ng endearment namin! "I know that look , Matteo"

" what look? Uhm.. " mas lalo nito akong hinapit kaya halos maduling na ko sa kakatingin dito!

" usog .. "

" top of me. . A lot better.. "

" haii.. syanga pala. " umusog pa din ako sa gilid nito, kaya ito na lang ang nag adjust at dinoble ang unan. Im at his bottom now, and i find it more comfortable when we talk like this. "Graduation ko sa sabado, i want you to be there"