[CLOSED] Techi Short Stories

Hirate Yurina [II]

Every single day feels empty for her and she doesn't know how to fix it. She tries to look happy in front of everyone but it's all an empty and emotionless smile and happiness no longer emit from them.

All her members know about her emotional instability but they don't know how serious it is because she never agreed to go for any test nor check-ups even after insisting for many times. She always says that she is fine, she is okay and tells them not to worry about her but that actually makes them worry more because she is not letting them know what is going on in her head.

Day by day passes and nothing seems to be getting better. She still forces her body to the limit till she collapses, she is still skipping meals and sleeping less and her health continues to decline.

Everyone is forcing her to take a break and take care of herself but she was too stubborn to listen. Looking at what she is doing to herself, all of them are worried especially the members closer to her. They tried to talk to her but she always locks herself up after schedules and nobody could reach her.

Her mental state is declining rapidly every day and her members could feel it too. Her temper has gotten really bad to the state that she gets irritated very easily. She felt that whatever went wrong was because of her and put the blame on herself. She no longer knows who's wrong and who's right because her mind is always scolding herself for being the burden.

The hate from the antis isn't helping as well as they made her loath herself more and feels like her existence is just something that went wrong. She knew that she has gotten harsher during practice and with her patience running low, she lashes out at her own member very often even though she was younger. 

Every day after practice, she would regret whatever she said to the older girls but didn't dare to apologise. The rest knows that she is getting irritated more easily recently hence tries to give her more space by avoiding her but that only made her think that they are mad at her and no longer wants to be with her.

Standing in front of the mirror in her washroom, she looks at the person in the mirror and starts to shout out her frustrations as she scolded herself.

"Why can't you be normal?!"

"Why are you so stupid?!"

"You are always a burden to the others!"

"No one else likes you!"

"Everyone is trying their best to avoid you!"

"Why are you so hated?!"

All the frustrations came rushing out as she scolded herself more harshly as tears start to fall as she starts to break down. Couldn't fight the overwhelming feeling inside her, her fist came up and went straight for the person in the mirror in a swift motion. She wants to hit the useless person on the other side of the mirror which was herself but ends up injuring herself instead.

The image of herself in the broken mirror stares back at her as tho it was mocking her for being such a useless person for not being about to control herself. Looking at her bleeding knuckles, she ignored the stinging pain and put her hand under the running water.

Looking at the blooding being washed away with the water, she felt as tho those were her sins being washed away together. She knew that she would be questioned for having an injured hand tomorrow during practice, she decided to just skip for the day. Covering her hand with a towel, she took out her phone and sent a short text to her manager for skipping the practice tomorrow due to her feeling sick and got a reply immediately saying it's fine and she should rest more.

Wrapping her hand up with the supplies she got at home, she questioned her existence. Her mind kept her awake as it kept asking her why is she even alive and she can't answer them. Her thoughts were thrown off when her doorbell rang. She went ahead to open the door revealing her captain and vice-captain smiling at her before those smiles turn into a frown seeing her injured hand.

"What happened?" Sugai asked worriedly

"I tripped and knock onto the mirror when I was entering the washroom" She lied and her captain believed her straight away while the other raised her brow at that excuse

They helped her rebandaged her hand after seeing how messy she did and tried their best to talk to her so that they could see her true smile again. Sugai got a call from home and had to rush back immediately leaving Moriya and Hirate in the house. 

After Sugai left, Moriya face changed as she turns to Hirate seriously. 

"You punched the mirror didn't you?" She questioned

"... how did you?" Hirate asked in shock

"I walked into your washroom, the hit was right in the centre of the mirror. If it was a mirror, the force shouldn't be that direct"

"..."

"Techi... Talk to me, talk to us if something is wrong... Please" Moriya begged

"Nothing is wrong... The only one that is wrong is me, everything about me is wrong" Hirate said emotionlessly

"What are you saying? You are wonderful, nothing is wrong about you" Moriya cooed

"You don't understand..." Hirate said and sigh

"Make me" Moriya challenged

"I'm tired... I want to rest..." Hirate said and went back to her room before closing the door and locking it

"Techi! Sooner or later, you will have to talk about it. Till then, I will always be around if you need me!" Moriya shouted from the other side of the door before leaving her apartment

Hirate leans her back on the door and slides down onto the ground as she covered her face with her palm. Tears start to fall and seep through her fingers and fell down her hands. 

"You all won't understand... Nobody would understand how I feel..."

"Nobody other than myself... Leave me be... I don't need any of your worries..."