Now and Forever (Twilight Seth Clearwater x Reader)

The truth

It's been four long dreadful months since the Cullens left. I've moved on even though it hurts, I know I'm not alone anymore and they weren't the only people who cared about me.

In these last months I've grown even closer if possible to Jake, Embry, Quil, Leah, the pack, and especially Seth.

They make me truly happy again even if i'll always have a place for the Cullens hoping and wishing they would return.

I can't say the same for Bella.

I know exactly how she feels it's like a piece of your heart is missing and that someone ripped it out of your chest. I've woken up on several occasions to help calm her down after her bad nightmares, I even slept in her room for a month because she asked me to.

Besides emailing Alice, which she doesn't even respond I'm the only person she talks to. The only one she says understands which is true.

It breaks my heart seeing her this way, sitting in the same spot looking out of her window the happiness drained from her eyes.

I sigh walking into her room as she's typing an email to Alice " Hey Bells." I say using her nickname I gave her.

She nods to me while I sit next to her " I love you but you can't keep doing this Bella. You need to eat, get out of this room, this house even or at least talk again. If not for yourself do it for me and especially Dad. He's worried about you." I tell her with seriousness.

"I-i know but I just can't everything isn't the same without him." She says with a broken face.

"I know, trust me I do." I say as I hug her.

I decided to leave her alone and go back to my room. I sit in my bed looking at the y/f/c walls trying to think of how to help Bella when I notice a yellow envelope folder that I've left untouched on my desk.

I sigh getting up and walking to it. I comb my hand threw my y/h/c hair, than proceed to chew on my nails debating on whether or not to finally open it.

"Do it. Just do it and get it over with." I mumble.

I hesitantly reach out and grab it feeling all around it until I finally have the courage to open it. I pull out three smaller envelopes seeming to have letters in them.

I sigh reading the cover of the first one which said " Alice and Jasper." I shakily move my fingers over the words easily knowing it's Jaspers hand writing.

I let out a tear and move on to read Esme and Carlisle's first. "Dear Y/n, I know you must be upset with us and confused or hurt. We are so sorry to have to do this. We want what's best for you and we care to much about you to see you get hurt at our expense. You are our daughter never forget that we will always love you. We could possibly see each other again one day or that's at least our hopes for when the times right and your older. Please forgive us, and don't forget how much we care about you. Love, Esme and Carlisle."

I sigh with glossy eyes and move on to the next one labeled "Rose and Emmett"

"Dear Y/n, I know there is no excuse for the pain and saddness we have caused you, but we do love you. It was so hard to leave you, all of us can agree to that but if we would have seen you we wouldn't have been able to go. It's not safe for you with us anymore. Your like a sister to us you brought joy I haven't felt in a very long time back into both of our lives. We only want what's best for you. With lots of love, Rose and Emmett."

I let a tear fall as I shakily reach for the last one.

"Dearest Y/n, I don't even know where to begin this letter. All I know is how heart wrenching it feels doing this to you. The day I met you I knew you changed our life for the better, what I didn't know is just how happy you would make us feel. I want to thank you for the memories and the joy you have made me feel. It pains me to even say this but I don't know when or if we will see each other again but you need to know we love you with all our hearts. Alice is constantly looking out for you in her visions. I nearly stayed behind because I didn't want to leave you but if you love something I guess you have to let it go as they say, but I'd never let go of you, your always with me like were always with you. I just can't keep putting you in danger, that's not the life I want you to live, it's not the life we all want for you. Know this was the hardest thing we'll ever do and probably ever will do. I'm sorry. Love, Jasper and Alice."

At this point my tears were falling I grabbed all three papers and held them close to my chest saying I'm sorry.

"I forgive you." I mumble out now knowing the truth as to why the left, does it still hurt? Of course, but at least now I know the truth and that they never wanted to leave me.

I close up the envelopes and hide the packet in my desk. I climb into my bed and let sleep over come me.