Joe and Dianne: Oneshots

Depression

Dianne's POV

Today I really didn't feel like myself. I don't no why but I just wasn't feeling happy today and I felt like I didn't want to be round anyone. Lucky for me I had the next couple of days off from tour so I could do nothing. The only problem is I know that Joe would want to hang out and I really wasn't feeling up to it. I decided I was gonna go back to my place. I hadn't been back there often as I had spent most of my time at Joe's when I wasn't on tour. I only went back there when I had to grab something. I hope Joe didn't ask to many questions about why I was going back there. I got up and got dressed before making my way downstairs. Joe was still in bed so I decided to creep out before he asked where I was going. I ordered a Uber and it took me back to mine. When I got there I opened the door and sat down on the coach staring straight forward at the wall. I couldn't fight this feeling today and I felt like I just wanted to curl into a ball and disappear.

Joe's POV

I woke up and looked around for Dianne. She had come back from tour last night and I was looking forward to spending the next couple of days with her. I looked in the bathroom and when I couldn't find her there I decided to make my way downstairs. I couldn't find her anywhere. I called out her name and got no response. I wonder where she has gone. I decided to text her as maybe she had popped out to get something.

Dianne's POV

I have no idea how long I had been staring at the wall before I heard my phone ping. I looked down at it and saw it was a message from Joe. I turned my phone back over ignoring it and made my way into my bedroom. I decided to try and have a little nap and see if I could push this feeling away. I had been laying on my bed for thirty minutes and I was still wide awake my thoughts swirling around in my head. I don't know why I got like this but some days I physically hated myself and there was nothing I could do about it. It had got a lot better since I had met Joe and I rarely got these feeling anymore but sometimes it was difficult to maintain the happy exterior I showed to everyone around me, sometimes I just wanted to lay down and cry.

Joe's POV

I was really starting to worry now. I had been awake for an hour now and I had no idea where Dianne was. I had got no response from the text message so I had also tried to ring her but I got no answer from them either. I decided I was going to have to try Amy as she was Dianne's best friend. Amy answered after a couple of rings and immediately she could tell from my tone of voice that I was worried. 'Everything alright Joe' she asked 'is Dianne alright you never ring me.' 'No' I replied 'I woke up this morning and she wasn't in bed with me. I looked all round the house and I couldn't find her. I thought maybe she had popped out for breakfast or something but I've been awake for over an hour now and I'm really starting to worry. I've tried to ring and text her but she isn't answering.' 'Okay I'm gonna tell you something that only a few people know. Dianne suffers from bouts of depression and when she is at her worse she doesn't want to be around anyone or anything. She can be extremely self loathing when she is going through one of these bouts and is extremely judgemental of herself.' 'Oh god' I replied 'why has she never told me about this' I asked. 'It's not something she likes to share, it's not apart of herself that she likes. The only reason I found out is because we lived together and she went through a few bouts when we lived together.' 'What can I do to help her' I asked. 'She needs to know there are people around her that love her. She is a completely different person when she is having one of her episodes but she needs to know that you still want her' Amy said. 'Okay but do you have any idea where she could be.' 'She will probably be at her place, somewhere she can just hibernate' Amy said. 'Thanks so much Amy' I said. 'Please call be once you have found her.' 'Will do I promise' I said before hanging up. I quickly ordered an Uber on my phone to Dianne's place. I had been here a few times with her before to pick up a few bits and luckily I had a key so I would be able to let myself in.

Dianne's POV

The thoughts in my head got worse and worse until I couldn't help but burst into tears. I really hated myself when I was like this and I felt like I was trapped under a dark cloud. I don't know how long I cried for but the next moment I was being woken up my someone turning a key in my front door. I know I should be worried about who was coming into my house but at the moment I couldn't bring myself to care. I felt like I couldn't move so I just stared I got at the wall opposite me. I heard gently steps making there way around my flat until I heard the shoes get closer and closer and someone walk into my room.

Joe's POV

I got to Dianne's flat and made my way up opening the door. I didn't know what to expect when I found Dianne. I looked around and I finally found her in the bedroom laying down staring at the wall. I could see her eyes where red from where she had been crying and she just looked so sad. I just wanted to wrap her up in my arms and tell her everything was going to be okay. I cautiously made my way over to her and reached my hand out to stroke her hair. The minute I touched her she jumped off the bed. 'Don't touch me, I'm repulsive, why would you ever want to be with a person like me. I'm so fat and ugly and have absolutely no talent.' My eyes started to water as she said this. How could she think of herself like that. She always seemed so confident I had no idea she was hiding this side of herself. 'Baby you are so beautiful inside and out. I know you can't see it at the moment but I love you with all my heart.' She looked up at me with tears in her eyes 'I don't believe you' she said 'I am no good for you I will only drag you down with me.' She sat down on the bed with a look of defeat on her face like she had given up on the world.  I cautiously sat down next to her and wrapped my arms around her. I immediately felt her try to fight it but I just held on tight to her. 'It's alright baby, I'm here for you. No matter what you think of yourself you are still the best thing that has ever happened to me. I don't see what you see in yourself. I see a kind hearted women who will go out of her way to help any of her friends or family. A women that has a big heart who will do whatever she can to make her fans happy. A talented women who can dance, sing, vlog and many other things. I love ever part of you even if you don't think it is worth loving.' I could see the tears streaming down her face as I said this and could feel the tears running down my own face. She had stopped fighting me now and had given into the hug.

Dianne's POV

I stood there listening as Joe told me I was beautiful inside and out. I looked up at him and I just didn't believe him. 'I don't believe you' I said 'I am no good I will only drag you down with me.' I sat back on the bed defeated waiting to hear the sound of Joe's shoes leave the room and walk out of my apartment. That sound never came and the next thing I know Joe is wrapping me up in a hug. I try to fight him but I just can't he is to strong. As I am wrapped in his arms I hear him start to say all the good things he sees in me. I can feel the tears rolling down my face as he gets to the end of his little speech and I am starting to believe some of the things he is saying to me. I have stopped fighting him now and just let him hug me. He slowly moves as so we are laying down on the bed bringing me into the side of his body keeping his arms wrapped around me. He reached one hand up and slowly strokes my cheek. 'I love you so much, you are so special to me' he says. As I am laying on the bed I can still feel the dark cloud hanging over me but it is a little less now that I know I have someone who loves me with me. 'I love you too' I say drifting off to sleep.

I did this chapter to show the importance of not always taking everyone on there face value. Some people with depression can hid it very well from the people that love them. They may be a confident person on the outside but that is not necessarily how they are feeling on the inside. Make sure you look out for the signs of depression and make sure the people around you know you love them and there is support out there for them if they need it.