Angel with a shotgun(Destiel)(Sterek)

Prayer

Praying was still a foreign concept to Dean. He'd never done it growing up, unlike Sam who, he had learned, did it every night. It still felt strange, like he was doing something wrong or embarrassing and yet somehow praying to Cas was easy to Dean. It left him feeling satisfied. Maybe it was because Cas always answered, most people who prayed never got a response.

Dean took a seat on the hood of the old red mustang in Bobby's yard. He was less likely to be interrupted out here.

He took a deep breath as he debated on how to start. 'Just talk from the heart' Sam had told him.

Dean closed his eyes and started. "Hey, Cas, I'm hoping you're just busy, but I'm a little worried here. Figured you'd be here by now. It's just after one. Guess it's still early, sort of..." Dean paused, he was rambling. "Look, I'm just gonna come out and say this, I...I..." Dean huffed as he opened his eyes, hoping Cas would be in front of him. He wasn't.

"Damn it, man, I'm not good at this, okay?" Dean looked up as if Cas was there, listening. "I'm sorry I reacted the way I did last night. I didn't mean to be so..." Dean ran a hand through his hair. 'Don't think about it so hard' Sam's advice sounded in his head.

"I love you, Cas and that's a really hard thing for me to say out loud, and I know I should have said it yesterday but I panicked. I thought you were just kissing me because you'd seen a few humans do it and...I did want it, god it's all I can think about," The words were coming easier to Dean now. Tumbling out like a waterfall.

"It's weird though, right? I mean you're an angel and I'm..." Dean trailed off. "I can't stop thinking about you. I worry about you, man. I'm worried it's too late and this prayer isn't going to make it to you. I'm worried that sending you to Missouri alone was a bad idea. I'm worried that I'll lose you before I even had you. You confuse me, Cas. I'm not used to this. I'm used to being sure of myself and knowing what I want, but with you...I don't know anymore. All I know is that I've never felt this way about anyone before. Not this strongly."

Dean's head dropped so his eyes were now on his fidgeting hands. He was never this nervous.

A familiar flutter sounded in front of Dean. He looked up with hopeful eyes, to see Cas standing there.

"Cas," Dean breathed out, sliding off the hood of the car.

"Hello, Dean," Cas smiled at the hunter in a way that made Dean's stomach flip.

"I would have come sooner, but I wanted to let you finish."

"Really? You made me talk to you through prayer instead of face to face?" Dean asked with a teasing tone.

"You do better without an audience, when it feels like no one is listening," Cas pointed out gently, taking a step towards Dean.

Cas had a point, but it was the fact that Cas knew that and let Dean finish that made Dean's chest tighten. This is why he loved Cas. He understood Dean and his needs, and he accommodated them.

"I'm glad you're okay," Dean gestured towards the angel, his cheeks flaring red as the angel closed the space between them.

"I am."

Dean's breath caught as Cas' hand reached up to cup Dean's cheek.

"Just to be clear, I'd like to kiss you again, but only if you-"

Before Cas could finish his sentence, Dean's mouth was on his.

It was very different from last night's kiss, which had been a surprise to Dean. This one was gentle and slow, simple as far as kisses went but there was more feeling than Dean had ever experienced in a kiss before.

Cas' hand slid from Dean's cheek to the back of his head, his other hand on Dean's chest. Dean however was gripping Cas' waist like he would disappear beneath his touch.

"This must be strange for you," Dean spoke breathlessly as they pulled back.

"The feelings are new, but I've come to rather enjoy them. Especially the ones I feel when I'm with you," Cas smiled, his thumb brushing along Dean's jaw.

Dean wanted to make some smart remark about Cas being a sap, but he couldn't find the words. Instead he leaned forward, pressing his forehead to Cas'.

"We should go inside, your brother's are waiting," Cas spoke quietly, his fingers now rubbing gently along the back of Dean's neck.

"In a minute, I just...need you," Dean breathed, his eyes were closed as he enjoyed the closeness with his angel.

"I'm here, Dean," Cas assured the hunter.

"Cas, I'm scared," Dean whispered into the space between them.

"I know, Dean. I can't promise this will go smoothly, but I promise I will do everything in my power to keep you all safe," Cas spoke quietly, his fingers digging into Dean's shoulder as if solidifying the promise.

"I don't want to lose you either, Cas," Dean pulled back so he could look the angel in the eyes. "Bobby and my brother's they're all the family I've got. And now that I have you too...I can't lose anyone, Cas. I can't do it."

Cas pulled Dean into him, holding his close. "I wish I had the words to make this better for you, Dean."

The hunter squeezed his eyes shut, trying to hold back tears. His father's voice echoed in his mind.

"Straighten up, boy. You need to be strong for your brothers. You don't have time to feel."

Cas felt Dean tense.

"It's okay to feel things, Dean. You're human, you're entitled."

Dean fought with himself. He needed to pull himself together, but Cas was giving him to okay to let go. To be the mess he was.

"You know I read in one of Sam's books that tears are just proof of being strong for too long, Maybe what you need is just to let go. Nobody has to know if you don't want them to, but I'm here, Dean. Always."

That was all it took. Dean buried his head in Cas' shoulder and cried. He'd been holding so many of these emotions in and it was just too much, he couldn't take it anymore.

Cas held Dean while he cried silently.

This is why Dean loved Cas. He didn't think anyless of him for feeling scared or overwhelmed, in fact he was there to hold him together while he fell apart.