Her Hurricane | Lapidot Human AU / Complete |

𝒇𝒐𝒓𝒈𝒊𝒗𝒆 𝒎𝒆

I was too busy writing I forgot to post! But here it is, even if it's 15 minutes late.

✰ ✰ ✰✰ ✰TRIGGER WARNING✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰

Hot tears soothed the burns on her cheeks as they streamed past them and onto the carpeted floor. She hugged her body, but was met with the soreness of her arms. Pain, she knew, would be the only way to calm the thundering of her thoughts.

Lapis staggered into her dormrooms bathroom and rummaged through cabinets for a razor and her tweezers. Clumsily and as quickly as possible, she started to unscrew the tiny screws off the razor with her tweezers since she had no screwdriver. Trying to rush, she dropped the tools in the sink and cursed before starting up the process again. Her roommate could be back at anytime and she couldn't waste a second.

Once the metal popped from its intended home, she studied it before letting out a choked cry. She grabbed the razor tip and slowly slid it across her upper thigh, on top of a healing burn. The sensation made a horrendous flame uprise through her and she had to suppress her guttural groan of pain. Cold sweat stuck to her back followed by a quaking tremble and she avoided looking into the mirror at the repulsive appearance she owned. Her lungs struggled to fill, tears kept their flow, and her grip was tight on the razor she continued to use to slice her skin and worsen her heals.

Immediately the next day after the trio arrived back in the college campus, Peridot had to attend her classes. She had been trying her best at doing them online, but with the lack of sleep, she was failing with high C's which was not to her liking. It has only been a couple of days but Lapis felt lonely again.

She should've been kicked out of her dorm since she wasn't partaking any classes, but considering everything she had dealt with, they let it slide. Lapis has nothing to do besides the classes finals she never got to finish. The oil painting on her desk was thoroughly dried by now and was teasing her with the laziness she had to complete it and the undeniable feelings she had for the girl she had chosen for her admiration project.

Without any thought, she sliced once again on her thigh before lifting the warm blade up to her wrist and began to hungrily reopen her wounds. She couldn't think of anything at that moment, but her wide eyes focused on the pain she was creating for herself. Another hiss released from her and she slowly began to realize what she was doing to herself.

✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰End of Trigger✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰

Shit. Lapis thought as she settled down from her high. Why didn't I just try out the tape recorder?

At that, she tossed the bloody piece of metal into the sink and sauntered back into the bedroom, ignoring all physical pain she felt. She grabbed the tape recorder from within her drawer, gazed out of the window, and pressed the record button.

"Log date, uh, 2620. It has been hard." Lapis paused. She didn't know exactly what to say to the box, but she just decided to spill her gut and say whatever came to mind.

"Jasper's suicide? I don't have many words to that, but knowing that... irks me." She bit her lip. Jasper's situation wasn't the main thing that was bothering her but she continued. "What he did doesn't justify him as innocent. He made my life even more hellish than it already was. He's the reason why I look like this and another reason why I'm screwed up."

Lapis let out an exhale. "But he's not the only reason why I cut myself today. I can't stand seeing Peridot and know that she doesn't give a shit about me. I know she somehow likes me, but not the way I wish she did. Fuck, I wish she was gay.