Imagine Us

Chapter 48: Parting Ways

I ran to the balcony and just wailed. I had never felt so hurt and broken in my entire life. Not even my mother's death made me feel this despicable and unstable. It's because I found a light at the end of the tunnel after that incident. But now that I'm running away again, there is nothing. It's just dark. It's just cold. There will be no hope. There will only be me barely surviving and doing what I have to do to survive.

I cupped my face and wailed into my hands. I felt so shattered.

Don't get me wrong. I didn't forget a single thing that Jonathan said to me tonight. If anything, it created a new palette of emotions. It created a new perspective. He used some very colourful words to compliment me and tell me how I changed them for the better. I want to believe Jonathan with all my heart but it's just so contradicting. I absolutely fail to see how I have impacted Caiden for the better. I feel as if I am a burden to him. I fail to see how I make him happy. The way I see it is that he's only happy when he wants to be.

I was so inconsolable at this point. I was so far gone. I have never cried so much. I wonder if this was even normal; to cry to the point that I felt like I was going to die.

"Why does it hurt so much?" I whispered through the endless stream of tears.

***************

I woke up with a dull feeling. My eyes hurt. The first thing I saw was the plain, white ceiling. I turned my head and saw that Caiden was still fast asleep. 

I sat up and ran my fingers through my hair. I recalled how I came back to the room last night and it was so awkward. He sort of tried talking to me so I implied the fact that I really did not want to. I wanted to give him a taste of his own medicine. But now, I don't feel as angry as I did before. What's the point? I was leaving so I might as well end everything on a good note. 

I looked over to where my luggages and bag stood by the door. I sighed.

I walked over to the bathroom to freshen up.

***************

Breakfast was a little more quiet than I wanted it to be. It was strange because it wasn't usually like this. I know Jonathan isn't too happy about the decision and I honestly wish I could take him away from all this. He just simply doesn't deserve it. I really felt like addressing the elephant in the room and maybe say my last words before I leave at noon but I didn't bother. And so, we continued to eat breakfast in silence.

***************

I just finished changing into a white, flowy tank top with spaghetti straps, sky blue jeans and white summer sandals. I was brushing my hair in the bathroom when I heard Caiden come into the room. I popped my head out. He had his hands on his hips as he looked down at my luggages. He then looked at me. I gave him a faint smile. "I'll be ready in two."

"These all you bringing?"

"Mhm."

"What about the rest of your clothes?"

"They won't fit in the bags anymore. Just, umm, chuck them away when I'm gone, will you?" I chuckled subtly. "No use for them here anymore."

No answer. 

Caiden effortlessly picked my luggage up with one hand and the smaller luggage and my handbag in the other, before leaving the room.  

***************

I walked into the common room to see all the boys sitting on the couch, except Caiden. They all stood up when they saw me. I walked slowly towards them, sliding my hands into my back jean pockets.