URBAN

TWENTY ONE

Ashanti

I watched Keem get into the bed. He came back a couple hours ago but we haven't said a word to each other. I don't know where he's been all day and I'm not in the mood to be asking him.

"Hello to you too," I muttered, looking at him then back at my phone. I was sat up while he lay next to me.

"Yo," he said, so half-heartedly.

We stayed quiet for a while. It was awkward as fuck. I didn't want to speak first. Cos I'm a stubborn ass bitch.

"You can't try to draw me out cos of my lifestyle," he muttered. "Cah I went through the struggle. And worse. The way I live my life now  has been the only way I've ever lived it, even as a yout. So nobody's ever gonna change me. You get me?"

"... Yeah," I agreed. "I didn't want what I said to come out as me insulting you or anything, I'm not tryna change you or draw you out,"

Keem looked at me as he lay down.

"I love you the way you are," I said softly as I looked back at him.

He looked away and shook his head a little then looked back at me.

"Keem," I touched his arm.

"I hear you," he replied in a slow voice.

"... we just have different ways of handling things. Like TJ. He made a mistake. Many mistakes. And he doesn't wanna be in the gang life no more cos he knows it's not for him, anyone can just tell. I, personally, would give him a second chance, even though he did all that to me before. But you, and I know you, you'd hurt him..."

"It's called revenge," Keem said.

"Why do you need to do that though?" I asked. "Cos you went through exactly that same shit. Your mum was sick. It was up to you to look after your family," 

"It's different."

"It's not," I argued. "Because if some nigga suddenly wanted to kill you because of a mistake you made-"

"Ti, listen to me. He tried to rape you, baby," Keem cut me off. "That's not a mistake, that shit is unforgivable,"

I faced him. "If I can forgive him, so can you,"

But have you really forgiven him, Ti? Or are you just tryna be the good guy?

Keem looked at the ceiling.

"This kid hasn't even done his GCSEs yet, give him a chance," I said.

"Mm," Keem hummed. "Yeah,"

"Do you get what I mean?" I asked.

"Yeah," he said.

We didn't speak for another couple minutes.

"We good?" he asked, looking at me.

"Yeah," I nodded. "I love you," I looked at him.

"Yeah, yeah, all a' dat," he nodded.

"You need to say it," I frowned.

"I don't need to say it," he defied.