Mahal Kita Pero (BoyxBoy)

Chapter 38

"Pero Yuji, bakit ako?" I am lost. Hindi ko alam kung bakit nya ginawa para sa akin ang lahat ng 'yon. But with the way I looked at him before, the way I treated him, I can say how much I don't deserve him.

"I was a wallflower and you know that. We were both the quiet type of students pero noong nadapa ako, you were there to pick me up. Mababaw, pero from that moment, I said to myself na gusto kitang maging kaibigan. I felt the need to protect you kahit na hindi mo naman ako pinapansin talaga. To be honest, sobrang naiinggit ako kay Matt kasi hindi ko alam anong ginawa niya pero gusto mo na siyang kaibigan kaagad. But it didn't stop me. Sabi ko, kahit sa malayo, I will protect you. But sadly, these things that I did were not enough to show you how much I care about you. And it was okay. I was okay. Hindi kita sinisisi kung naging masama ang tingin mo sa akin kasi desisyon ko rin namang hindi ipaalam na para sa 'yo 'yon. I was okay because knowing that you are okay makes me feel right. But I wish I was there when we were in high school. Good thing, Matt was there like he always do. I am thankful that he was there when you need someone to lean on. He was there to cheer you up when needed. He was with you throughout our highschool life kaya hindi na rin ako magtatakang sobrang naging close pa lalo kayong dalawa."

"Bakit ka ba nawala?" I was lost for words. Hindi ko alam kung anong sasabihin ko sa kanya dahil sobrang bigat sa pakiramdam ng sinasabi niya and I am feeling more guilty dahil sa inasal ko.

"Leukemia. I needed to go to Japan for medication dahil sabi ni mommy, I will be given the right medication kapag doon ako nagpagamot. I don't want to leave knowing na maiiwan kita dito but I had to. Nandyan naman din si Matt so I know that you're gonna be alright." Hindi ko maiwasang maawa sa kanya dahil nagkasakit pala siya nang hindi namin namamalayan.

"Gumaling ka naman, right?"

"Good thing, gumaling naman ako. To tell you honestly, my doctor said I had to stop my schooling to focus on my medication, but I insisted. Sabi ko, kailangan kong magtuloy kasi hindi pwedeng maiwan mo ako. Gusto ko, pagbalik ko dito sa Pilipinas, maging kaklase ulit kita. Gusto kitang makasama ulit so I worked hard on my studies kahit na napakahirap pagsabayin ng pagrecover ko at ng pag-aaral. Madaming nagsabing tumigil na muna ako but I was so firm with my decision na ayaw kong maiwan mo ako kasi babalik ako. Lalaban ako kasi alam kong may babalikan ako."

"Hindi kita deserve, Yuji. Your heart doesn't deserve to be given at someone na hindi ka man lang pinahalagahan noon." Hindi ko na napigilang umiyak. This guy beside me really has the heart of gold and here I am, instead of noticing how good of a person he is, treated him like a trash.

"Enzo, for you, I will settle even for the littlest thing that you can give."