Love me, again

38

Josh

Carrying in the coffin slowly down the aisle, it had me thinking about if Madison and I were get married, I was thinking about proposing to her after the baby arrives and I wanted it to be special, of course with her dads permission.

I did start looking at wedding rings and a couple of them caught my eye but who knows, we are still young and didn't want to rush her into something she might not even want. Hearing the sniffles from behind me kicked me out of my thoughts and back to reality, Jason's funeral.

''So sad.'' I heard a lady whisper from the benches as we passed, I held my head low watching my two feet almost stumble from underneath me but held my self up. Dad squeezed my shoulders to tell me it was okay or that he's got me, who knows what he meant by it.

As we reached the altar we carefully set down the casket down on the stand and sat down on the front row benches, I sat down next to my mom who wiped her eyes with a tissue she pulled from her bag. I held out my hand in front of her and she took it squeezing my hand. ''Thank you.'' She whispered and I leaned over to kiss her on the cheek.

''Thank you, everybody, for being here to remember the life that this young man has lived. Also for being here to mourn with his beloved family.'' The priest said as he stepped onto the altar towards the mic. ''Today is a sad day, but it's to also celebrate the life of young Jason Bieber who's life was taken short.''

''Suicide is not uncommon but it shouldn't be as common as it is. It is horrible for families as some people never leave a reason behind why did do it. We need to find a way to prevent this from happening, more families are being torn apart and are left with not knowing why their family members do this.''

''Jason, who comes from a large family, was a cheerful young man. Yes he had his run-in's with the law but he would always own up to his actions.'' He spoke and my mom squeezed my hand even harder as she cried to the priest speech. ''I would like for Jason's niece, Jessica, to say a few words.''

Watching Jessica wipe her yes she stood up letting go of my Gran's hand and stepping up on the altar, sniffling along she pulled out a piece of paper, hands shaking as she lowered the mic. ''Hi everybody, on behalf of my family and I we would like to say thank you for being here with us today to say goodbye to Jason.''

''Jason, was the best uncle I could ever ask for. We were like best friends, he was like my brother who annoyed me whenever he could but he had a good heart. Jason would come over to my parents house at least twice a week on the weekend to see us, but that all stopped a year ago. My father and he had a very heated argument, I don't know what about but that made Jason stop coming over. I hated it, I stopped speaking to my dad for weeks, I went to live with Jason because I couldn't bare to face my father for him treating Jason the way he did.''

Sniffling, she held in her tears. ''Jason was always there for me, whether I liked it or not. We had a special connection that he always made me laugh when I didn't feel like laughing. On my bad days he brought me for ice cream, he hated chick flick but watched it because of me, always made sure I was okay. My parents were always working long hours so Jason would come over to me and my siblings, he would bring us out to the park so we had something to do.''

''Jason was everything to me and my family, we loved him so much and I wish he talked to me on how he was feeling.'' She sobbed, watching his casket which held a picture of him on top, smiling with the widest grin on this face. My dad was up to comfort her as she sobbed walking off the altar.

''Thank you Jessica. That was lovely.'' The priest said and I sighed wrapping an arm around mom and pulling her close to me. Next to speak was Gran who was being held up by my dad.

''Hello everybody, thank you all for being here with me and my family today. Today we rememeber who Jason is and was, when I was fifteen I met Jeremy, who was the sweetest man I have ever met, I left home to be with him and my parents hated it.''

''Three years later I discovered I was pregnant, a teenage runaway. I told Jeremy but couldn't tell my parents as they already disliked him enough. As my bump grew my parents found out and they disowned me all together until I went into Labor to discover it was twins, identical.''

''I couldn't take care for two babies, Jeremy and I couldn't afford it so we gave Jason up for adoption to have a better life than we could ever give him. Almost twenty years passed and I thought of Jason every day for those twenty years, where he was, if he was happy, what family he had, if he had siblings.''

''Then one day when three of my grandchildren where small, Justin and Selena surprised me with Jason at their home, he was the spitting image of Justin. Only he had more tattoos and piercings.'' She giggled through her tears.

''From that day on I never missed a day of his life, I made sure to ask him about everything that happened in his life. I had my son back, I had my boys back together.'' She cried collapsing into my dads arms, my dad helped her down from the altar and I sighed pulling my mom closer. ''I love you Josh.'' She whispered and I kissed the top of her head. ''I love you too mom.'' I smiled as she leaned her head on my shoulder for the rest of the ceremony.