2. A Definitive (Poetry)

-Fifty Four-

Venom That Does Not Grip/ Pride That Will Not Show:

I could be mad, I could feel cheated and and scolded

I could react like a child or I could let go of it

I could feel unjust treatment in the unkindness of another

Or I could let my mind slip open and wander

Into calmed waters that do not resemble that kind of sea

Golden boy lying in an ocean that did not fucking belong to me

In the slightest, I let my ideas get the best of me

My emotions wandered just too far out of reach

Towards someone claiming to be things I couldn't see

Things I would never want to be.

I could call it cowardice, I could fight and scream

I could let venomous anger heat to the point it stings

But I do not have the time and I wish you the best

Purely only out of the kindness and humble respect of my own self defence. 

Because holding on to hating this would only burn me

And it isn't worth chipping away at my skin for someone damaged who doesn't see

I hope you find a way some day to be whole. And it won't have anything to do with me. 

This has been a quick venom that has not gripped

And pride that has reared its ugly head only to not be seen. 

I want nothing to do with this past but to grow

Embarrassed and uncomfortable by emotions that shouldn't have shown

I want only peace and self respect from the deepest part of the path

That leads people away from things that bring back too many scars.

I could hate you but I think indifference fits best

Because it was never anything, nothing to forget

Out of sight out of mind, life goes on this time

Healing takes its time, but this one will not last in pain

For the venom has not gripped, your pride in vein

I am still whole, I breathe towards the storm

Aware that the calm, is in the eye of the beholder,

So drown ocean boy, sink or swim I simply do not mind

Your life is nothing of my own thinking, nor is your own demise

May you find a way to be whole without crushing those around you against the shore. 

I look back to a calmer water,

One that has known me before. 

~J.K.M.