Me Without You

Chapter 18

"That was very nice of you, Roxie," he held my hand as we walked back to my front door.

"What do you mean?" I asked, turning to face him.

Tonight was perfect. After dinner and almost a disastrous night, Darian took me out to see a late movie at a nearby drive in theater. It was amazing. I couldn't stop smiling.

"What you did for Mai. I really appreciate it." "Really," I shook my head, "it was nothing. I just didn't want her to feel bad."

"It does mean something," he smiled, "nobody has ever done that. She was diagnosed pretty early in age, so we still adjust to her. She is always afraid to socialize and we're learning how to make her feel comfortable and here you come; super Roxie." 

"I like that," I did a silly superhero pose and he laughed. His infectious laugh caused me to join him.

He wrapped his arms around my waist and rested his head in my neck. "God, I wish tonight didn't have to end," he sighed and I blushed. "I know," I bit my lip, "me too. I had a really good time." "I'm glad; my family can be a lot to handle at times. But you fit right in," he paused and I felt my heart flutter.

What was my answer?

"So," he kissed my neck and I felt my face flush once again, "I think it's time for you to answer my question, Roxie." "I have been thinking about it," I paused and he pulled back. "And?" he asked and I smiled.

"I like you, Darian. I really do," I held his face and smiled; he looked terrified. "Yes."

"Yes?" he asked, stunned at my response.

"Yes, of course yes," I blushed and he leaned in, kissing me.

My first official boyfriend and he's...perfect.

You would have loved him, Bennie.

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Dear Bennie,

So, I have a boyfriend now. I gave it a lot of thought and although we had a rocky beginning; tonight just confirmed that I do have feelings for him. He's so sweet and charming and freaking hot. I really like him and I bet if you were here; you'd be crushing just as much.

I'm sorry, Bennie.

I don't know how else I could show you how much I miss you, but please know that I'm sorry.

Roxie

*******************************************

I pulled away from my bowl of delicious cereal as I heard a loud horn. 

"Really," I groaned, dumping my bowl and running outside. My mom had left thirty minutes earlier after we talked about Darian and my upcoming gyno appointment.

I walked toward his loud truck, but he rushed out and ran to my side. 

"Why are you so loud?" I asked, adjusting my book sack, but was cut off by his abrupt hug.

"What's wrong?" I asked, "not that this isn't nice or whatever. Please, Ricky I can't breathe."

"I'm sorry," he sighed and squeezed me tighter.

"Don't," I patted his back, "don't do that, please. I'm over it, you should be too." "Roxie," he pulled back and I saw that he was crying.

"Ricky," I shook my head, "please don't cry. I'm sorry for putting you through that." "No, that was all me. I left you, I should have been with you, maybe..." "I'm ok, Ricky. You saved me, I have to thank you. I don't know how I can repay you."

"Dinner, tonight?" he asked and I jumped back. "I have a boyfriend?" "Not a date, Roxie. My dad is cooking for a panel and he's inviting a bunch of rich snobs to help him start his restaurant. Please come with me, I don't want to be alone."

"Why not Jessica?" I asked as we got inside his truck. "She's busy but I didn't ask her. I need someone that I feel truly comfortable with. I'll show you the stuff I'm working on for next reading. Which by the way you missed and they were asking for you." "Oh yeah," I rubbed my neck, "I don't have anything and I'm supposed to be reading something." "We can do something together, if you want?" he asked, flashing me a sly grin and I punched him.

"Fine, I owe you." "You do, huh?" he cheesed as he parked and we got out of the car.

"So, you told him yes to being his girlfriend?" he asked as we walked inside, going to his locker. "Yeah, he swept me off my feet," I sighed, dramatically. "We should totally double date, I'm thinking of making it official with Jessica, soon." "Wow," I paused, "looks like that's going to happen sooner that you thought," I pointed at his locker and saw that she was waiting for him; a weird look on her face.

"Well, I'll leave you two love birds, see you tonight," I waved off as I walked to my locker. 

"Hey, Roxeanne," she hugged me and I froze in my spot. "Jessica," I patted her shoulder and she let me go. "I'm so glad to see that you're better, what's going on tonight?" she asked, folding her arms, eyeing us.

"I told you my dad is having this rich people dinner and I asked Roxie to go with me." "What?" she asked, "you didn't ask me, I would love to meet your dad. I am your girlfriend, right?" she asked, pouting and I took that moment to walk away.

"Hey!" I turned to find Mindy waving me down.

"Hey Mindy," I smiled at her and stopped, waiting for her to catch up. "How's it been?" she asked, "I didn't see you last Friday. And Ricky looked extremely stressed. Are you ok?" she asked and I nodded. "Yeah, sort of spazzed out last week," I shrugged, "I'm better now." "Good," she bumped my shoulder.

"Hey, we should hang out later," she grabbed my arm, "want to go catch a movie or something tonight?" "Can't, I'm having dinner with Ricky tonight, maybe another time." "Oh," she paused, "I didn't realize you two...I thought he was with Jessica."

"Oh no, we're just friends. Not dating him." "Oh," she blushed, "cool. Sorry," she blushed. "Are you alright?" I asked and she groaned. "No, I'm doing so bad now. I need to just get it off my chest, I think you're really gorgeous. Always have but I thought you and Bennie were...together. But when he died, I found out he was gay and you were mourning. Look, I'm rambling."

"Mindy?" I questioned her nervous stance, "just say what you have to say." "I like you," she blurted out, "I'm asking you out on a date, tonight. If you want."

Oh, shit.

"Oh."

"It's stupid, I'm sorry," she blinked away a few tears and started walking away. "No," I stopped her, "it's not that I'm not interested. You're beautiful, it's just I am seeing someone." "Oh God, this is so awkward. I'm sorry," she blushed and wiped her face. "Yeah, it's fine," I laughed and she hid her face, but I grabbed her hands.

"I'm glad you find me attractive," I nudged her and she groaned. "Can we just pretend that didn't happen?" she begged and I shrugged. "I don't know, I've never been hit on the same sex before, I feel honored."

"Roxie!" she screeched causing a few people to eye us and I hugged her, laughing into her arm. "I'll stop. Look, we can do something as friends after school; maybe shopping or catching an afternoon movie, ok?" I asked and she nodded.

"Fine." "And maybe find you a girlfriend or boyfriend; I'm a great wing man."