Me Without You

Chapter 36

"Just like that?" Ricky asked as we were in his room.

"Yep," I sighed, not wanting to talk about it anymore. "I'm sorry," he tossed his basketball in the air, catching it, "I know you really loved him." "Love," I corrected him, "that won't change."

"Yeah," he paused, "want to go get ice cream?" he asked and I looked up and shook my head. "No, maybe I should get going."

"Are you sure?" he asked, "it's still early. And besides my dad isn't here and you're mom is still with Jacob."

"Yeah, I have an exam in first period anyway, it's finals week," I lied, "I'll text you." "Are you alright?" he asked, grabbing my hand and I nodded.

"As good as I'll be," I sighed, "just getting over heart break." "You know you can still talk to me." "Can I?" I asked.

"What does that mean?" "What did you mean when you were saying all that crazy stuff at prom?" I asked and his face changed. "I had a few drinks. I was speaking nonsense." "Don't lie to me." "What do you want from me?"

"Honestly, for starters," I folded my arms, "you talk crazy stuff and then hook up with Jessica the same night. And from her point of view, she sounded dick-matized." "Dick-matized?" he asked and then we began laughing.

"I'm serious," I stopped, "that's not cool that you're stringing her along." "I'm stringing someone along? Rich," he rolled his eyes. "What is that supposed to mean?" I asked.

"You've been stringing me along since I've met you, Roxie." "Excuse me!" I shrieked and he looked at me. "Come on, you knew how I felt about you. Even Jessica and Darian knew." 

"You and I both agreed we were just friends." "Your actions, Roxie. You cuddled me with me, we've slept in the same bed multiple times and held each other. I'm the only that can comfort you, you ran from Darian .I did the trip with you."

"Darian couldn't go." "You told me first, you even said you wanted to ask me but were scared how others would perceive it."

"I'm not doing this," I grabbed my stuff and started walking out.

"What?" he yelled, "there she goes, running away again. Shocker," he fussed and I turned back. "Because you're being an ass right now. It's not my fault, you have feelings when I established our relationship."

"Bullshit," he stood closer to me and I snapped my mouth quiet when I noticed how close he got. "You can't tell me you don't have feelings for me."

"I don't," I tried to say loudly, but it came out as a whisper. "You don't?" he asked and I nodded. "I love Darian, I'm in love with him, Ricky. You're my best friend, why can't you just be that."

"Because I can't. I love you, Roxie. I don't know when it happened, but being with you like this makes me want more. You think I want to love you like this? I just want to be your friend, but I can't."

"Ricky," I begged as he walked closer, causing me to back into a wall, "please."

He placed his hands on the side of me, securing me in my place. "I need you to realize the truth. Stop running from it. You love me," he got closer, "and that's ok."

"I can't," I shook my head, "I can't do this. Please," I placed my hands on his chest to push him, but he grabbed my hands and held me closer. "Don't pretend you didn't like when I would touch you. How I begged for your attention."

"Fine," I pulled away, "I like the attention. And yes, I was attracted to you, but that doesn't change the fact that I'm not in love with you."

He stopped when he realized I was serious.