Me Without You

Chapter 38

I took off my ear phones as Mindy sat beside me.

"Morn," she mumbled, sipping on her iced coffee and handing me the other. "Thanks," I smiled at her and she stretched. "Thank God, this is our last week in this hell," she groaned and I watched her.

"I know, it flew by so fast," I sighed, turning back to my work.

We decided to meet up and get ready for our speech. She had a longer segment that me, but I still wanted to be prepared. 

"God, I really don't want to do this, but my parents would kill me." "I'm sure they're proud of you," I patted her shoulder. "Eh, I guess so," she shrugged, "got the odds stacked against me. Hispanic, bisexual feminist who is really smart," she winked, "sounds nice, huh?"

"Yeah," I rolled my eyes, "as long as you don't go around kissing taken women."

"Who's kissing taken women?" Jessica plopped beside us, placing her paper work to the side. She was planning senior skip day which was going to be in two days. We decided on going to the beach again and having a huge bonfire. 

"That was one time," Mindy's face flushed. "Looks like you have everyone wanting you," Jessica looked at me, "hmm, makes me curious." "Hey, if you're curious enough, I can definitely help you with that."

"Ew," I smacked her, "she's with Ricky. Taken woman." "Not anymore," Jessica shook her head, "we decided to end things. It was becoming too much of a job and even though he has gotten better in bed, it's too stressful."

"Oh?" we both looked at her and she nodded. "Yeah, I'm currently single and not ready to mingle, but experiment," she winked at Mindy, "I'll let you know." "You have my number," she flirted and I groaned. "Guys, really? Flirting?" I questioned.

"What's up with her?" Jessica eyed me as she finished her muffin and I sipped on my drink. "Yeah, what's up with you?" Mindy nudged me.

"Darian and I broke up," I finally confessed, "it's pretty new." "Oh my God, why?" Jessica eyed me, "you two were perfect for each other." "I know," I sighed, "he's going back to Korea. He got accepted at a prestigious school and he couldn't pass that up; I wouldn't let him."

"I'm sorry," they reached around and hugged me. "Thanks," I shook my head and continued on my work. "So, are you thinking of dating anyone?" Mindy asked, her eyes on her paper.

"No," I answered and it grew quiet. "You sure?" she asked again. "Mindy," I looked up and she tried to give me a honest look. "Look," I smiled at her, "I'm not interested in dating anyone. Girl, boy, bi, gay or whatever label. I'm sorry, I just need to get over my heart break," I grabbed my papers, "and you guys are being really rude now. I'm going to the second floor if you need me."

I turned around and bumped into someone.

"Hey," Ricky quickly tried to help me pick up my papers, but I snatched them. I stood and walked away.

"What's wrong with you two?" Jessica asked and he groaned.

"Roxie," he called out and I stopped. "I really am not in the mood, right now, Ricky." "Are you seriously going to ignore me?" "Well, you've been ignoring me for a few days now, I'm tired of it." "I needed to cope with you not wanting me."

"And what now? You think we can be friends again?" "Well, yeah. Why not?" "Because you're an ass, that's why," I rolled my eyes and turned again, when he grabbed me. "Let me make it up to you. I was a really bad friend, I'm sorry." "Your sorry isn't good enough," I looked at him, "you made me feel bad because I just wanted to be friends with you. You ignored my texts and calls and had your dad lie to say you weren't home." "How do you know I wasn't?" he tried to defend.

"Jessica just told me you two broke up," I made a face and he nodded. "We did, it was a really crappy couple of days. Please," he begged, "my dad is having a pop up shop downtown. Let me bring you; there's good free food and entertainment. Please," he begged, pouting his lip and I tried to look away.

"Fine," I agreed, "but this is NOT a date," I pointed a finger at him and he raised his hands. "Swear," he smiled, "just friends being friends." "Good," I turned away and climbed the stairs; taking the rest of my free period writing my speech.

I walked to the bus stop, trying to avoid them as best as I could when my phone started ringing; it was Darian. I quickly ignored and took a deep breath; I felt bad for ignoring him, but I couldn't talk to him now.

"Wow," I heard someone behind me and I bit my lip. Busted.

"That's what we're doing?" he asked and I turned, slowly. "What are you doing here?" I asked, folding my arms, "why are you here?"

"Damn," he touched his chest, "I didn't leave yet, thanks for the worry," he made a face, but I looked away. I couldn't stare at his beautiful face, I was finally beginning to come to terms with his choices. He decided to end us the moment he sent off that application, and although I hated being this selfish, it was true.

"I do worry about you," I turned back to him and he saw that I was getting upset. "I'm sorry," he wrapped his arms around me and held me. "I just miss you. I needed to see you," he kissed my forehead. "I miss you, too. But we can't keep doing this," I looked up, "you're leaving."

"I am," he sighed, "I just don't want to let this go. Not without trying," he licked his lips, "I love you, Roxie. And you know me, when I love someone I love deeply. I can't let this go and I don't want to." "What do you suppose we do then?"

"Try," he begged, holding me tightly, "until it's apparent we can't love each other anymore." "That sounds as painful as this is, Darian. I can't keep getting my heart broken, I can't do that to myself anymore."

"Then come with me." "Darian," I shook my head, "I can't do that either. My heart isn't in Korea, like your's is. Maybe this is where we break apart." "I don't believe that. You love me, right?" he asked, holding my face and I broke my own rule by looking into his soft gaze.

His hair had grown, it was pinned back by a head band and he looked so sexy. He also had a little stubble and that was my first time not seeing his face so clean shaven. He looked different, but those eyes; those deep brown eyes changed everything.

"I do," I held onto his hands, as if my life depended on it.

"Then please don't give up on us." "Never said I was, but I'm not holding you to us. I don't want you chained up in Korea, passing up on people because you love me. That's not enough. But if in the far future, you come back to me, I'll be here." "Roxie," he rested his head against me.

I knew he was speechless, we both were. It was the end of our relationship and it hurt like hell. But this time, there was no kissing, no touching or making love; that would be cruel. This was our final good bye.

"I will be back and I'll hold you to that promise."

"I hope you do. Good bye, Darian."

"I love you."

"I love you, too."