Me Without You

Chapter 23

"It'll make sense one day," I looked up, saving the nail polish as we admired my work.

"Cute," he smiled, wiggling his toes, "too bad I can't show them off." "Says who? Everyone knows you're totally fem," I shrugged, fanning them and he sighed. "Everyone thinks I'm dating you. I haven't really dated anyone," he pulled out his phone, "what if I'm not gay."

"I don't know," I chuckled, "and the only reason why you haven't dated anyone is because you are picky as hell." "Hey," he smacked me, "it is not my fault I have taste. You haven't dated anyone either," he gave me a look and I rolled my eyes. "I'm not looking for a boyfriend," I felt my face heat up.

"It's not because you're still in love with me, right?" he asked, folding his arms and it was my turn to smack him. "I'm not in love with you, ass," I looked away, lying through my teeth.

Of course I was attracted to him. He was gorgeous, and he was my best friend; I had some hope that maybe things would have changed. He was my first kiss, I thought, as I tried to distract myself.

"Hey, I was just joking," he grabbed my arms, "you know I love you." "I know," I sighed, "just not like that. I'm over it," I cleared my throat, "I'd rather have you as my best friend anyway. You can give me a guy perspective." "Sure," he smiled and pulled me into a hug.

"Hey!" my mom poked inside, "I'm back," she looked at us and smiled. "I love the color, bennie. Spending the night?" she asked and he nodded. "Yes, mom," he flashed a typical 'Bennie' smile and she closed the door.

***********

"I hope dating won't separate us," I spoke up, "it's scary to think of the future." "Don't worry about it," he laid beside me as we snuggled under the blanket, "we're going to always be best friends. Imagine if we found brothers," he squealed, "wouldn't that be cool." "It would," I smiled and turned to him. 

"Bennie," I said his name, as he closed his eyes; getting comfortable. "Yes, Roxie," he answered, not bothering to open his eyes. "Even though you're gay, thank you for being my first kiss." "No problem kid, you were my first, too," he smiled, "it was a pretty intense kiss." "It was," I chuckled, "I love you, silly."

"Love you more, now let's get some sleep."

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I awoke to kisses on my shoulder and my eyes fluttered open. My pillow was wet and I realized my eyes were streaming with tears.

I sat up and wiped my face as Darian popped up as well.

"What's wrong?" he asked, his smile disappearing when he saw my face, "did I hurt you?" "No," I sighed, "I had a dream."

He pulled me into a hug and we snuggled. "I love you," he whispered against my forehead, "I'm here, Roxie." "I know," I squeezed him, "thank you." 

"Look, we should get dressed. It's almost nine and Mindy is going to kill us if we get her mothers card charged any extra fines," he kissed me and I sat up, straddling his lap.

"How do you know you love me?" I asked, pulling back and he looked startled. "What do you mean?" "I've never been in love before. I've never dated actually. The only person who I ever loved was Bennie; even if it wasn't reciprocated. He was gay, he was my first heart break, I think. How do you know it's real? That what you feel for me is...real?"

"Wow," he rubbed my thighs, "I guess I feel excited when I think of you. At first I thought it was because I liked you, but then the feeling only intensified. When I see you, Roxie," one hand reached to hold my face, "my heart feels as if it's going to burst from my chest. When I hear your voice, I am mesmerized."