Me Without You

Chapter 47

I stretched and sat up; brushing my hair to the back, looking around the hotel room. Sprawled beside me was Jessica; hugging an empty Vodka bottle and I turned to the other bed; seeing that Mindy and Bria were asleep; cuddled.

"Good morning," I tapped my foot against Ricky; he fell asleep on the floor. "Morning," he groaned, stretching and stood slowly.

"Where the hell am I?" he looked around and I laughed. "You followed us to the hotel where Jessica had another stash of alcohol," I walked to the bathroom as he followed me. I poured water in my hands and washed my face as he began to do the same; taking the sample tooth brush and brushing his teeth. "Hey," I smacked him, "I was going to use that."

"I don't have germs," he handed me the wet brush and I pushed him, playfully. "Ew," I groaned, but took the tooth brush and rinsed it; brushing my teeth next. "See," he smiled and I sighed. "Today is Bennie's birthday," I replied and he wrapped his arms around me.

"Want me to come?" he asked, "I can be here for you." "Please," I begged, holding onto him and someone knocked on the door. 

"Oh, God why did you guys let me drink that much?" Mindy asked, walking to the mirror where we stood. "Blame Jessica," Ricky laughed at her, ruffling her hair as she grabbed his hand. "Ugh, screw you," she sat on the floor, besides the toilet, "I think I'm going to vomit." "Please do so in the open toilet besides you," I joked and she looked at us.

"Was I interrupting something?" she asked and we turned to each other. "Interrupting?" Ricky asked, turning back to the mirror as he finished wash his face. "Yeah, you guys have been doing this cat mouse thing for years now, I can't believe you two haven't hooked up yet," she said honestly. "Um," I made a face, "well we almost did."

"We're broadcasting that?" Ricky turned to me, his eyes wide. "Well, you told Darian," I folded my arms, "you were giving updates on me. That was rude," I poked him and he grabbed my hands. "I had to, blame it on guilt," he smirked and I hit him.

"You and Darian spoke?" Mindy asked and I nodded.

"Yep, he tried to pull me back in," I brushed my hair and pinned it up, "but I can't do that anymore." "Why not?" she asked as Ricky listened, sitting on the counter. "I can't do that to myself. I mean two months after he left he had a new girlfriend. And then he told me he came back and came to visit me and when he saw that I had friends; he stopped trying. Why would I give him another chance when he still has a whole year out there. I'm moving on, officially," I bit my lip, "no matter how hard it is."

"I'm proud of you," Mindy stood and hugged me.

"Me too," Ricky added as we group hugged.

"Not that this isn't cute," Jessica interrupted us, "but I really need to pee."

"Ok, cute moment over," Ricky let go, "come on let's go."

"Where are you two going?" Mindy asked as we walked toward the beds, Bria waking up.

"Today is Bennie's birthday." "Oh, you're going to visit him?" Mindy asked and I nodded. "Every year, Q and I go to visit him. If you guys want to come, I would appreciate it." "Of course," Mindy hugged me again and Bria joined. "Thanks," I smiled, feeling a little overwhelmed with the love.

"I'll see you guys later around twelve. I have to go home and get dressed." "I'll ride with you, I'm not leaving with Jessica," Ricky walked with me. 

We walked to the front of the hotel and I flagged down a taxi. 

"Why didn't you tell me you were talking to Darian?" I asked, as we got inside. "I don't know," he shrugged, "I figured you two would have worked it out. But I think it was because I didn't want you mad at me." "That was creepy of you," I added, "I mean I see where your mind was and I appreciate the concern over my love life, but if he wasn't man enough to talk to me or check up on me then he didn't deserve to know my every move."

"I'm sorry," he started, "but..." "Why is there a but, Ricky?" I asked, as the driver parked in front of my house and I paid him. 

"It's just," Ricky got out and I eyed him. "You know how you are, Roxie. You told him to move on and told him to not let people pass him by and when he began dating, he said it was hard to talk to you. You began ignoring him and he missed you." "I needed time," I unlocked the door, "he didn't get to dictate how I felt. I mean how fast did you move on from Jessica?" "That's different. What Jessica and I had was nothing compared to you and Darian."

"It doesn't matter, because he moved on. He was over me and with another woman." "Roxie," he made a face and I turned around, snapping on him. "It doesn't matter, Ricky. He moved on and he thought he could keep tabs on me. I moved on too."

"Did you?" he asked, "I'm not trying to get you mad, I'm just being honest. We're friends."

"Are we?" I asked, poking his chest, "I mean you stopped talking to me. You didn't stop talking to him, so where does your loyalty lies?" "Are you seriously trying to check me right now?" he asked, "you moved all the way to California."

"What does that mean?" "You're a runner, Roxie. Always have been, always will be," he folded his arms. "And so what, I have nothing to run from anymore. Darian left me. Bennie's gone." "I'm still here," he walked toward me, "I have always been here. Even when you were madly in love with someone else."

"Ricky," I placed my hand on his chest, stopping him. "We are not doing that now," I gave him a look. "No let's," he stopped me, "you always avoid this conversation. We almost hooked up, so that excuse you have for not caring about me that way was complete bullshit." "Ok," I raised my hands, "I loved you. I love you," I corrected myself, "but I was in love with Darian."

"And now?" he asked, "what do you feel now?" "I feel betrayed," I answered, honestly. "You can't really feel betrayed. I thought I was being a good friend. He asked me how you were and I told him." "That included telling him about my dating life?" I asked. "Ok," he smirked, "I could have kept that to myself, but I was pissed. He had you," he explained, "and he moved on."

"You were jealous," I answered, matter of fact. "Yes," he sighed, "are you happy?" "A little," I shrugged, "now I have to get dressed. Shouldn't you be heading home?" I asked. "Nah," he looked down at his shirt and jeans, "I can rock this for a few more hours." "That's nasty," I made a face as we walked in my room.

I grabbed a pair of jeans and a random shirt as he sat on my bed.

"You love me?" he asked, grabbing a pillow. "Ricky," I started and he raised his hands. "You've never said that before." "And I might not say it again."

"I love you, too," he smiled at me. "Good," I turned back to him.

I walked in the bathroom and quickly dressed; walking out and joining him.

"What are you doing?" I asked, leaning against the door frame. "Thinking," he was lying down and I sat beside him. "About?" I asked and he looked at me.

"Life," he shrugged, "a lot of time has passed, but somethings just remain the same." "Meaning?" I asked, trying to get him to explain better. "Us," he started, "and I know you don't want to talk about it, but it's going to drive me crazy."

"Can we do it later?" I begged, "after seeing Bennie, please." "Fine," he sat up, "but you promise you'll hear me out?" "I promise," I grabbed his hand and helped him up.

"Ice cream later?" 

"Sounds like a plan."