Light of the Dragon's Eye

Chapter Forty-Three

KAI'S POV

I'm not sure how long the ride is back to Kiba. In fact, I don't remember it that much either. The only thing I know, truly, is that I had been lied to, for so long.

My thoughts are a blur, and I'm just barely aware of Kasumi gripping my waist tightly. More than anything, I don't want to speak to anyone. I just want to disappear.

We arrive, and I wordlessly hand the horse's reins to one of the stable men. I think I hear Kasumi call for me, but I ignore her and head inside the mansion.

I bump into Ichiro on the way. "Oh, Kai. How did it-"

I shove past him and keep walking. My legs carry me to Akira's room.

I don't knock. I slide the door open, and shut it gently.

What exactly am I feeling? Anger? No, that's not it. Sorrow? Maybe.

I don't want to think about it right now.

I look over to the bed and see that she's asleep, her breathing steady. The room feels stuffy and hot as my emotions swirl, and I notice she discarded her top and tossed it in the corner.

I pull off my shirt and drop it on the floor. I silently lay next to her, and close my eyes for a moment.

Mom is dead, she hated you, Dad was a liar, you have a half-brother, Maya doesn't know, you were the cause of her death-

My eyes snap open, and I clench my fists, my nails digging into my palms.

I can't sleep like this. There are too many things I've learned, too many secrets hidden from me.

I turn on my side and observe Akira, who is facing me. She looks peaceful, and although her hair is rumpled, I can tell she hasn't been asleep for very long.

I draw her closer, and notice her skin is slightly chilled. She did always get cold easily.

She's dressed in loose pants and only chest wrappings on her torso. I place my palm on her bare back and move it in slow circles, warming her, as I let my thoughts melt away.

She sighs in her sleep and her back arches into my hand slightly. She had always been leanly muscled, but her ordeal with the kidnappers, as well as Yuki, left her scrawny and deprived of any brawn she had had.

To my relief, since she's been back, she's put on more weight and has gained an unfamiliar softness. Maybe once she gets a bit stronger she'll go back to normal.

Her complexion is milky pale, no longer sickly and translucent like it had been in the aftermath of her kidnapping, and I rub my thumb over the delicate skin of her back.

She fits nicely against me, and I move my palm under the wrappings so that it rests between her shoulder blades. I continue to warm her, my hands becoming bolder.

The regular part of me chides me. Akira isn't some exquisitely formed body to distract myself with; she's the woman I love. Doing this wasn't right.

But...it's not as though my intentions are carnal. I don't want pleasure, I want intimacy. I want to hold my lover and forget the world for just a little. I want to warm her cold body and let myself relax.

That's not wrong.

My hand wanders up and down her spine and the line of her waist. I feel her with a gentle pressure, not enough to be noticeable, but more than just grazing her skin.

My palm lowers to the dip of her back, and moves down the curve of her hip. I rub my thumb over it, before slipping my fingertips beneath her waistband.