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Adventures of Brax and Nako

VOL. 1
Punching out the occupants!

I dont know where the fuck we are...
I have no goddamn clue what time it is...
Who the fuck is reading this?

[POV of Brax]

I rolled off the bar and landed on my face, I then got to my hands and knees and vomited on the floor. Funny... I don't remember eating corn. I then got to my feet and sat on a bar stool and tried to recollect what the hell happened last night. Nako was laying down behind the bar with a couple of chicks spreading across him, I then went outside and saw a gray truck. The truck looked 40s-esque and had a swastika on it, I saw it had tubes in the top. My foot had a string wrapped around it, I then jerked my foot.
[Fwwoooooooosshhhhhhhhhh]
I looked at jet stream being left behind by the rocket, I lost sight of it when I seen the Eiffel Tower.
Hmm, we must be in Paris.
[Kasshoooomm]
Ahh, Fuck... I just hit the fucking Eiffel Tower with a goddamn Nazi rocket. Well at least I didn't blow the fucker up.
[Wreeeeee-rrrtt-rrrrtt-eeeeerrrrrr]
And the fucker is going to fall.
[Kaaasssssooooooooooooommmmmmmmbbbbaaaaaaassshhhhhhhh]
Well fuck, I blew up a land mark... ehh, they'll think the Germans blew the shittin' thing up.
I walked back into the bar and poured some schnapps into a glass and shotgunned it. I then opened up a wine and drank it as I walked around the bar trying to get a clue of what happened. I opened a closet and a naked man almost knocked me over whilst running out of the building.
Yeah well fuck that guy, what a fucking drunk.
I looked down and saw a torn up Nazi uniform. I shrugged and closed the door.
Nako and I then emerged from the bar and walked down the street, a group of soldiers in gray uniforms then ran into the bar as we walked away.

Nako: what the fuck happened last night?
Me (Brax): I don't know, do you have any paper scraps or recordings?
Nako: I'll check my phone... where the fuck is my phone?
Me (Brax): I have the sneaking suspicion that this isn't the 2000s.
Nako: Fuck... I forgot that these machines make you appear like you belong here.
Me (Brax): I still look like a punk rocker...
Nako: and I still look like a... fuck... why am I wearing spandex?
Me (Brax): Bro... You have a nipple pasty on your finger.
Nako: that reminds me... why do my goddamn titties hurt?

Nako pulled open his leather jacket and pulled up his Five Finger Deathpunch shirt to reveal he had nipple rings.

Me (Brax): *starts laughing hysterically*
Nako: ay, fuck you man... this shit hurts! And who ever did it fucking sucks!
Me (Brax): I know now why that girl kept asking for her ear rings back.
Nako: Screw off... Hey, why are there a bunch of angry germans?
Me (Brax): I don't know! That's what I've been trying to ask you, you dumb motherfucker!
Nako: I ought to beat the shit out of you...
Me (Brax): And destroy this mug?... No thankyou.

We then went into a warehouse and found crates with eagles holding swastikas. I opened one and saw some dope looking paintings, Nako found some Gin. We drank down the Gin and opened a crate with guns, we then took the guns. In the back of the place was a gray truck, We got into the truck and started it up. I turned on the radio, but what came on was some shitty old French music. Nako then floored the truck and slammed out the front door of the building. We roared down the streets and saw Nazi lookin' fuckers start chasing after us.

Nako: What's their fuckin' problem?
Me (Brax): Fuck it I know.

We then drove onto a big open side walk, Nako decided he was tired of armored vehicles and tanks following us so we made a building a drive through. We drove through the front doors, someone had put boards on all the steps. We then drove through the expansive building.

Nako: was this some sort of art gallery?
Me (Brax): I'd say it's the Louvre but... where is all the art works.

We turned to eachother.

Nako and I: ohh, fucking Nazis... ahhh.
Nako: well we fucked up good this time...
Me (Brax): Wait... Not necessarily so. I blew up the damn Eiffel Tower.
Nako: and that's our leaving place.

We stopped the truck and left it in the museum. I then searched my mini-Tiadidamoma and found that I had 1978 VW Rabbit in my car inventory. I then spawned it and got in. Wait where is the stearing wheel... Goddamn Euro cars! Nako the carpeted the car and we flew out the front door and slid around the grass when we landed. Tank shells landed all around us, we fired at the infantry with MP38s. Nako then saw that one of the bridges were being worked on but the other had tanks on it, we decided to go across the one with construction. We drove as fast as we could across the feeble metal framing and shook around the car as it started to collapse. We then ascended into the air again as the failing metal frames formed a ramp. We landed back down and lost the oil pan. We noticed we had also bent the frame and that the car was now driving at an angle. We then seen the Eiffel Tower and drove up an alley. We drifted around a corner and flipped the car into river. We swam to the grassy area then ran towards the twisted remains of the Eiffel Tower. We crawled ontop of it and shot at the incoming nazis until we got to the middle. Nako and I then teleported back to the Neutral Dimension.

Was that story too fast?
Did you not like it?
Well call: Burger McFuckface at 1-fuckyoucnt!
This has been the first installment of our epic fucking tales!