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72 The Great Dakar PT1

They only get longer from here... sorry. But hey, your like 3/4ths done so what the hell.

Jeddah, Saudi Arabia
September
1972
0700 AM

[POV of Buddy]
[Say fuck it by Buckcherry plays in background]

We walked amongst the cars that wait in the dunes.

Jason: not only did RHB pick an odd time to start the Dakar, he also put us in the era of the oil crisis... which means that the Saudi's aren't going to be so kind to us.
Bart Hale: a few mummy boys aren't gonna hurt the king...
Skull: but those are the Egyptians...
Bart Hale: They're all brown and wear rags on their head... how the hell am I supposed to know the difference.
Jason: he has a point.
Mad Jack: well that's racist...
Jay: took the words out of my mouth.
Bart Hale: keep cool baby, the king throws fists when he means hate.
RHB: ok fuckers, lets get this shit show moving.
Skull: aye aye, sir...
RHB: *chuckles* I ain't a fuckin' pirate.

We then got into our cars and trucks as the motorcyclists mounted up. I put on my beat up Risistol cowboy hat and turned the ignition to my '77 F150 and heard the diesel engine's turbo wine as the front shook. The Girl got out of RHB's car and ascended the checkered flag into the air before rapidly lowering them. The vihicles launched towards the rising sun as the cool desert air filled my cab. A man in a '32 rat rod drove beside a biker and threw a chain into his front wheel, the bike flew into the air and landed in my bed as I ran over the biker. I then accelerated towards the '32 rat rod, the passenger started swinging a led pipe at my door, I then tossed a football at the diver who then turned hard and rolled off a bluff into the Red Sea.
[Heart breaker by Pat Benatar plays on Radio]
I was in the top five of the race, it was getting dark and I was using the single headlight I had to continue on. At about 5 PM, we had already passed Al Wujh and were entering Neom, at this point we were all tired as we had traveled 640 Miles. And had already done about 5 fuel stops, we were resting at Neom where we would continue the next day. We parked along the narrow modern streets of Neom Saudi Arabia, the place was a jewel in the middle of the desert... it was as if time glitched here, this was later confirmed by RHB. He said parts of this Dimension were time warped and pieced together horribly. RHB wasn't driving his Dodge Dart as usual, he was in a 1943 Willies MB military Jeep. It had a mounted Browning 50 on it.

18:28 PM
[Wooly Bully by Sam the Sham and the Pharoes]
We drank more water than we did alcahol, everyone in the hotel was wearing clean clothes and looked refreshed.

Jason: ...and as such, we are the first people to have a race like this.
Mad Jack: that's right... the first Dakar race was in 1978.
Me (Buddy): what's up?
Jason: we were talking about issues we may have up, the literal, road.
Skull: I heard Crisis... when do we grab the guns?
RHB: we won't, the Saudis don't really want to wage physical war on some racers. Besides, we have done this race dozens of times. And just to be sure, Elizabeth, Dad, and I have all had rest and will travel by night. Our Jeep has necessary precautions on it, I suggest you guys keep speed on your side. The race will commence at 21:45 PM, our next destination is Riyadh, this means you'll travel right through Ha'il. You'll have 1600 kilometers or 995 miles 'til you get there, that is roughly 17 hours of road time.
Mad Jack: that's killer...
Skull: those racers will have plenty of time to kill eachother though...
Jason: we better fuel up then.
Me (Buddy): R, how are we supposed to know when to start the race?
RHB: You'll get an Idea...
Bart Hale: all right baby, what did the king miss?
RHB: they'll fill you in Hale...

[POV of Skull]
21:38 PM
Neom, Saudi Arabia
[FMLYHM by Seether plays on the radio]

We readied ourselves for the second leg of the race. Greasers were beating the shit out of the tuner guys again, the muscle car guys were a bit too worn out to interfere with it. This included Jason, he looked like hammered shit, who was lounging in his Barracuda. I set in my chevy truck and checked the jerry cans in my passenger seat. I cranked down my window and let the cold air into the cab of my truck, the air soothed my lungs. I got tired of waiting and cracked open a can of Schlitz, I then put the can on my dash and proceed to roll a cigarette. As soon as I lit it I seen a ball of light ascend into the air, it looked like it had a firey trail behind it. The ball of light and expolded into a massive fire ball, the shock had shaken the cars and knocked any by standers to the ground. I had almost dropped the cigarette in my gas filled cab before tossing it out and slamming the accelerator. I hit several cars in the initial launch, but then went down the roads at barrelling speeds. As soon as the crowd got out of the town is when the violence began. A 1950s Mercury shoved Japanese Lunge mines into the front quarters of cars causing them to explode. I grabbed a hay hook and went beside the car, the passenger then proceeded to stab a mine at my truck, this however failed as I grabbed the long handle with my hay hook and allowing me to take the mine from him. I then accelerated forward and tossed the lunge mines handle into the ground so that its head would be sticking out, thus the car crashed into it and exploded. A motorcyclist then jumped onto the truck and grabbed me by the neck, I quickly grabbed a hand full of ashes out of the ash tray, in my console, and tossed it into the greaser's eyes. The guy let go of my neck and fell inder my rear tire and caused the back to jump.
[Smack my bitch up by Prodigy plays on radio]
I then saw a convertible pull on my right side, he pulled a gun and started shooting at me. I grabbed a pre-made molotov and lit it, I then hit my brakes and bashed into his rear quarter panel. The car spun around my front, I tossed the molotov into the car as I drove by it. I then Punched the NOS and blasted past some of the muscle cars. Jason had a couple of sports cars ramming into his sides, he then slowed down and spun the car on his right into the car on his left before darting away from the scene. A massive 1940s MACK truck squashed the sports cars. I looked into my rear view mirror to see orange, blue, and yellow balls of light against the pitch black sky. The fuckers behind me had it coming, the only reason they are back there is because they want to kill eachother. Bart Hale looked at me and gave me a thumbs up before darting past me. My headlights illuminated the sand, but also revealed a sand storm. It was too late to get cover, I rolled up my window and drove to the sight of my compass. I couldn't see anything, I hit something hard a couple of times but decided to drink another beer. When I could see after about twenty minutes I knew why it felt like I was going up and down. I was in the dunes, I seemed to be alone other then the zippy little cars speeding around the bottom of the dunes.
[Rock and Roll ain't noise pollution by AC/DC plays on Radio]
I relaxed as the sun started to Rise and the city of Riyadh, I must have went around the other city during the storm. Once we made it into the city we slept like children... Children who just murdered about a dozen people... but hey, who gives a fuck about some faceless foe!