My Fat Ass Self a Park Jimin ff/smut 18+

Chapter 19

I felt better now that Jimin knew. But I also felt like shit. I've done a lot of stupid shit to myself to make myself feel better over the years. I've done a lot of sketchy stuff to get my next fix, I've put myself down in more ways than one and even though I vowed to never be that person ever again I didn't want Jimin to judge me knowing how I used to be. He didn't say much after I told him everything, and the car ride to my house was practically silent. I was an anxious mess, why wasn't he talking? Did he not love me anymore? Does he want to leave me and he's trying to figure out how to tell me? Does he hate me now? I wouldn't blame him. I hate me too. I should tell him that it's okay so he doesn't feel bad for hating me. He put the car in park in my driveway and the two of us made our way into my house
"Are you hungry?" He asked
"I am actually, want me to cook dinner?"
"You had a long day, let's just order take out" 
"Okay" 
He walked away to my bedroom to call for food. I sat on my couch feeling out of place in my own home. He must be mad at me. But I didn't know him when I did all of that stuff, how can he hold any of that against me? I know I was wrong, I know I fucked up, but the last thing I want is for him to hate me or judge me. Fuck. I knew I should've lied to him. I ruined everything. I started to tear up at the thought that this was the beginning of the end for us. The thought that someone I love could finally see the disaster I see in myself everyday. 
"Food is on the way babe" he said as he sat next to me and smiled, he frowned "baby what's wrong?" 
"Nothing, I'm okay" I wiped my face and looked away from him 
"You're not..tell me what's going on?" He placed his palm on my face and turned my head making me look at him 
"I'm going to go to the bathroom" I stood up and ran towards the bathroom, I shut the door and cried on the floor. He deserves better and he probably realizes that now. God I fucking hate myself. He knocked on the door
"Babe, talk to me. What's wrong? I know you had a stressful day but don't dwell on it by yourself, talk to me"
"I'm okay" 
"You're crying, tell me what's going on Sarah" 
"You hate me now, you know you deserve better and you're going to leave me and I don't blame you. It's okay if you leave, I'll be okay, it just hurts a little. But you need to put yourself first so if that's what has to happen then that's fine. I'm so disgusting, I've done fucked up shit to myself and people I care about and I don't want you to hate me for them. I don't want to hurt you" I sobbed. 
"Open the door"
"No, just fucking leave so I can cry and fix myself" 
"If you don't open this door, I will break it down" he demanded in a deep voice that sent chills down my spine. I love his dominance. Even if it's at the wrong times it still turns me on. Fuck. Why is he so damn stubborn? I lifted my arm and unlocked the doorknob 
"Thank you" he said softly as he sat next to me on the floor "so it's okay if I leave you?"
"If you really want to, yes. I can't keep you hostage" 
"Is it okay if I stay?"
"I don't want you to break up with me over all of this. But I also understand if you want to. That's your choice. I don't want you to make that choice based on how I will be affected by it" 
"You really think that I would leave because you opened up to me about your past?"
"I wouldn't blame you if you did" 
"I don't know how I would have handled things if I was in the same position, and I'm in no position to tell you if what you did was right or wrong. Everyone has a past, everyone has done and said things they regret or can't take back. We shouldn't judge people by their past. Not to mention it made you who you are today. I love you unconditionally and that includes your past"
"You were so quiet after hearing everything and on the way home I got scared" 
"I didn't know what to say, you were upset, and I didn't have the right words to comfort you, I was trying to think of everything I could say but also figured you might need space to unwind from such a stressful day.. I didn't mean to make you think I was leaving you"
He pulled me into his arms and kissed the top of my head "eventually you'll believe me that I'm happy being with you, I don't want to leave you, and that I love you. Even if you don't love you, I love you enough for the both of us. You're not disgusting, you're not gross, you have a huge heart and treat everyone with love and kindness sprinkled with a little sarcasm and sass" he chuckled "there's nothing you could tell me that would make me give you up okay?" 
"I love you Jimin"
"I love you too baby" 
He kissed me and there was a knock at the door Rupert started barking by the bathroom so we got up, Jimin got the food and we sat down to watch tv while we ate 
"Do you want to change before we eat? You're still in your suit" 
"I'll change after" he smiled and bit into his pizza. 
Once we were done eating Jimin went to the bedroom and changed into his sweat pants and a tshirt, he came out into the living room and found me in the same spot he left me. 
"You should get changed too babe" 
"I'm good"
"Sarah, come on just go get changed"
"Psssh make me" I rolled my eyes and shifted into my seat. Now that I wasn't stressed out I was feeling playful. 
"You know I can, just got get changed" 
"Bitch" I mumbled under my breath hoping he would catch on that I wasn't being serious
"Excuse me?" He raised an eyebrow at me and folded his arms across his chest "what did you say to me?"
"I. Called. You. A. Bitch" I smirked and went back to watching the tv, he picked up the remote and shut it off "the fuck? Turn it on"
"No. You owe me an apology, and then you can go get changed" he pointed towards the bedroom
"No" I shook my head 
"Sarah" he growled 
"Jimin" I mocked 
"You and your bratty attitude, I should correct that for you" 
"You wish. If I want to be a brat, I'm going to be a brat. Fuck you" I giggled, and he tried to hide the smile that was creeping on to his face, he cleared his throat 
"Apologize and get changed. Now" 
"No" I stuck my tongue out at him, before anything else could happen he was sitting on me and tickling me "No!! No!! Stop stop stop!! Jimin please!!" I was laughing so hard and flailing around like a dying fish 
"Apologize!!" 
"Fuck you!" I yelled and continued to laugh "you're gonna get hurt!!" I yelled as I tried to push him off of me
"Be a good girl and apologize and get changed"
"No!" I pushed him off of me and tried to run to my bedroom but he grabbed my ankle and I fell face first laughing even harder "Jimin stop!!" He climbed on top of me and pinned my hands behind my back 
"Apologize for calling me a bitch and being a brat" 
"No! Fuck you!" 
He smacked my ass making me jump 
"Sarah, do it"
"Bitch!" I laughed and tried to squirm out from underneath him, I was met with another hard slap to the ass, I had to bite back the moan that was trying to crawl up my throat, he leaned forward so his mouth was right by my ear 
"Be a good girl and apologize and maybe I'll give you a reward" he whispered before he bit my earlobe giving me goosebumps
"Never!" I yelled and started moving trying to throw him off of me, he gripped my arms tighter with one hand and landed a hard smack on my ass with the other and I accidentally let a moan slip out, he took the opportunity to grab a fistful of my hair and jerk my head back, he licked up the side of my neck and kissed my jaw 
"Are you sure you don't want to apologize and get a reward? Hmmm?" 
"Mmmm fuck.. okay. I give up. I'm sorry I called you a bitch and didn't listen" 
"Good girl" he cooed and nibbled on my neck 
"Mmm Jimin" I melted into a puddle on the floor, at the wrong time however Rupert decided to come over and lick my face making both of us laugh "eeewww Rupert!!! Not right now!!" I pushed him away and Jimin released me and stood up offering his hand I took it and he pulled me up from the floor. 
"Go clean your face" 
"Yeah I'm on it" I went to the bathroom and washed my face after Rupert decided at the wrong time to give kisses, worst guard dog ever. I went to the bedroom to get changed and found Jimin standing there in just his sweatpants holding a belt, god the body this man has, I was practically drooling. I shut the door behind me before Rupert could come in 
"What's that for" I motioned towards the belt with a smile on my face 
"Punishment for being a brat" he smirked, he grabbed his dick through his pants "and this is the reward for behaving" 
My face was hot. I knew I was turning red as my legs started to shake feeling the wetness forming in my core. God I want him to wreck me. 
"Where do you want me sir?" I asked as I walked towards him 
"Don't touch me. Take your clothes off and lay on your stomach on the bed" 
I pouted, I want to touch him. I placed a hand on his abs and felt his muscles contract under my touch, he smacked my hand and I pulled it away looking shocked but smiling 
"You didn't listen. Don't touch me. Take your clothes off and lay down on the bed on your stomach" 
He's never been violent with me, he's always been rough, and dominant..but like holy fuck. I like this. 
"Yes sir" I lifted his hoodie up over my head and threw it into the corner, I unhooked my bra letting it hit the floor, and slid my pants off revealing I had no panties on underneath. He eyed me up and down with a smirk and let out a hum of approval. I could see his erection growing in his pants which made me smile, I walked over to the bed and laid down with my arms under my head 
"Good girl" He slid both hands up and down my thighs giving me chills, he kissed my back and without telling me he hit my ass with the belt making me jump. He didn't whip me with it, he kept the leather folded it didn't sting it was a pleasurable smack. Goosebumps took over my body, my nipples became erect, my face was red, and I was getting more and more turned on. He rubbed my ass and smacked it again, this time I let out a whimper that was mixed between pain and pleasure 
"Are you going to listen to me from now on?"
"Yes sir" 
"Good" 
He hit my ass with the belt again and I moaned
"Are you going to be a brat and give me attitude again?"
"Bitch I might" I mumbled 
"Excuse me?" He hit me again "what was that?" 
"Fuck. I said I might but I was only being honest" 
He hit me a little harder and I practically screamed "fuck" I squeezed my thighs together feeling like I was going to orgasm at any minute now. 
"I'll ask you again since you can't listen. Are you going to act like a fucking brat again and give me a fucking attitude?" He grabbed my hair and lifted my head "answer me" 
"No sir" 
"Good girl" he cooed and kissed my temple before releasing my hair from his grasp. He hit my ass with the belt one more time and at this point I had tears in my eyes, a wet spot on the bed between my legs, and I'm sure my ass was bruised. He caressed the marks on my ass and whispered over and over that I was good girl
"You did so good baby" he kissed my sweaty temple 
"Do I get my reward now?" I asked as I pouted 
"Of course" he chuckled and lifted my body to roll me over, I winced when my ass came into contact with the mattress "are you okay?" He asked with concern laced in his voice 
"I'm fine" I smiled and pecked his lips, he stood up and pulled down his pants and underwear revealing his erection that was already thick and pulsating, with precum dripping from the top, he was so aroused I knew he wasn't going to last long but I needed to feel him fill me up. I'll admit I was using this experience to take my mind off of things. I was using him to fill the void that was left inside of me from crying all day, and to make myself feel better I got him all riled up. I'm sure he knew, and by the looks of it he didn't mind at all. 
"Spread your legs for me baby" he said as he climbed up onto the bed, I complied and parted my legs revealing the wet spot between them, he smiled when he saw how wet I already was 
"Someone liked their punishment too much" he smirked as he rubbed the tip of his dick up and down my slit feeling how wet I was for him, I giggled and jerked as his dick rubbed against my swollen and sensitive clit 
"Fuck Sarah, I don't know how long I'm going to last" 
"That's okay, I'm just so close I just want to cum all over your cock" 
"Mmm" he moaned as he forced himself inside of me, the stretch made me gasp as I dug my nails into his back "fuck you're so tight baby" he kissed my neck as he thrusted in and out of me slowly, he bit the skin of my neck and sucked on it harshly sure to leave a mark, I couldn't stop moaning and gasping each time he thrusted in and out of me, he picked up his pace thrusting faster as we tried to reach our highs, he lifted himself up a bit and grabbed my throat shoving me down into the mattress while he moved in and out of me faster 
"Fuck I'm gonna cum in this pussy" 
I felt myself clench around him, my mouth hung open as I couldn't seem to make any noise, he leaned down and kissed me biting down on my bottom lip "that's it baby, cum all over my dick, be a good girl" he released my throat and bit down on my neck again
"Fuck!" I yelled out "oh god Jimin, I'm gonna cum" 
"Come on baby, I'm going to cum in your pussy, cum for me" he continued to thrust faster and sloppier as I hit my high, I felt the orgasm rip through my body as I shook and trembled, letting out a long moan, my orgasm was still going strong when I felt him release inside of me letting out a loud moan and pushing his face into my neck 
"fuck that felt so good" he breathed out into my neck while we tried to catch our breath, he planted light little kisses on my neck and jaw before sliding out of me and laying next to me, I put my thigh over his leg and wrapped an arm around his waist snuggling into him 
"That was so good" I managed to say even though my body felt wrecked, he kissed my forehead 
"Are you okay baby?"
"I'm sore, but I'm good. I liked that a lot" I smiled 
"You're really going to like the stuff I ordered then" he chuckled bouncing my head up and down with his chest. 
"I can't wait" I shifted my head up and poked out my lips asking for a kiss, he smiled and kissed me
"I love you" he said as he pulled away and stared into my eyes 
"I love you too" I smiled and returned his soft gaze "I'm so ready for bed" 
"Me too, but it's only eight, and we need showers after that" he smirked
"I know" I sighed and laid my head back down on his chest, he covered us up with the blanket and stroked my hair for a few minutes. Our moment didn't last long though..my bedroom door swung open violently making both of us jump and he tightened his grip on my defensively 
"You bitches done fucking yet? I need my best friend" Joon-ho said as he walked into the bedroom 
"Joon get the fuck out!" I growled and put my face in Jimin's chest 
"Noooooo I'm tired of you ignoring me for your boyfriend!!!" He whined and stomped his foot
"I'm not ignoring you!!" 
"I haven't heard from you in two fucking days, don't tell me you're not ignoring me!!" 
"I'm sorry!! I was busy!!" 
"I see that! I heard it too!! For fucks sakes guys, take it easy!" 
"Go away!!" I threw my pillow at him and he dodged it, Jimin couldn't help but laugh 
"Get up!!" 
"You sure that's what you want?"
"Yes!!!" 
"Okay" I took the blanket off and stood up being completely naked in front of him, he closed his eyes, Jimin looked stunned. He knew we were used to being naked around each other but I don't think he was ever expecting to witness it. 
"Better?" I laughed and he started laughing 
"I can't look at you naked with your boyfriend right there!!" 
"You've seen me naked a million fucking times!! Chill!" 
"Oh god fine!" He put his hand down from his face and laughed "you have the ugliest fucking hickey on your neck right now. I didn't know you were a vampire Jimin" 
"You guys are so fucking weird, I swear" Jimin said as he shook his head and buried himself in the blankets while Joon and I laughed 
"Look, Joonbug, I love you. I'm sorry we haven't talked in a couple of days but I go back to work tomorrow. How about we do dinner tomorrow night? I don't think Jimin and I have plans" 
"Fine. Bitch ass." He rolled his eyes 
"I love you" 
"I love you too, I guess" he rolled his eyes "I'll see you tomorrow.. Jimin I'll see you around" 
"Bye Joon" he mumbled from under the blanket 
"I would hug you..but you nasty" 
"Get out Joon!" 
He laughed as he left 
"How did he get in?" Jimin asked as he pulled the blanket off of his face 
"He has a key" I giggled as I got back on the bed 
"You guys are so weird" he rolled his eyes
"I'm sorry baby, does it bother you if Joon sees me naked?"  
"No, honestly. I know you guys have nothing going on and there never will be. I don't worry about your relationship with him" he smiled "I personally just haven't seen two people comfortable being naked together without any sexual tension at all so it's just different" 
"well, even though he's bisexual he's more so gay, he's never been interested in me either. And I'll admit, when we first met, I thought he was super hot and would've fucked him in a heartbeat, but trust me, I haven't been interested in him in that way in years, and I couldn't imagine ever doing something like that" I kissed his lips
"I know baby, I trust you" he said as he kissed me again
"Plus, you're sexier anyway" I winked making him chuckle 
"Ready to shower?" I asked as I got off the bed and extended my hand to him 
"Yeah I guess so" he grabbed my hand and got off the bed, he kissed me and tilted his head to deepen the kiss pulling me in tighter by the waist 
"I love you Sarah" 
"I love you Jimin" 
We kissed again before we got our stuff ready for the shower.