Trigger warning
Mention of
sexual assault
Self harm
Abuse
Neglect
Addiction
I was completely broken and dead on the inside as I stared at my husband. I held his hand as I sat next to his bed, they had wiped off most of the black from his skin that the smoke left behind, he had tubes in his mouth and nose, and I watched the pump go up and down making him breathe.
"Please don't leave me baby" I whispered as I ran my fingers through his hair
Only a few hours ago we were laughing with our son, eating dinner, making love in our bed, sharing kisses as our eyes struggled to stay open together…
And now..
There's silence.
Only a slight beeping sound coming from his heart monitor and my soft whimpers from trying to stop myself from crying.
"Mrs Park?" A nurse asked as she entered the room
"Hmm" I answered her, not even trying to take my eyes off of Jimin.
"We're going to try and get him breathing on his own in the morning, you should really get some sleep. He'll be fine if he can breathe on his own"
"I will, I'm allowed to stay right?"
"Yes, you can stay, would you like me to bring in a cot? Or a bigger chair?"
"No thank you"
"Water?"
"No thank you"
"I'll bring in some water anyway, you can't let yourself dehydrate..you inhaled quite a bit of smoke yourself"
"Okay" I nodded
I stared at my husband and I thought about everything I have ever been through.
Being abused, didn't break me
Being bullied, didn't break me
Being neglected, didn't break me
Being raped, didn't break me
Being an addict, didn't break me
Being alone, didn't break me
Being mentally ill, didn't break me
All of these things..
I always felt so broken.
I always thought...why can't I just die?
Why am I even here?
Death would be better
But Jimin?
He picked up all of those broken and ugly pieces of myself and not only glued them back together, he helped me see the beauty in them too.
He helped me love myself.
He fixed me.
He promised me he would always hold my hand no matter what.
And now..staring at him laying in this hospital bed, while I hold his hand.. those words feel so heavy
Everything leading up to meeting him was worth it.
I would do it a million times over if it meant I got to have him through it all.
I was never broken
I felt broken.
If he dies.
I will die too.
I will literally break apart in tiny pieces and crumble.
Then, I will be truly broken.
I laid my head down on the side of his bed and held his hand to my face
"I'll always hold your hand… but I need you here" I whispered as the tears rolled down my face. I fell asleep.
"Mrs. Park?"
"Hmm?" I lifted my head and rubbed my eyes, I looked at Jimin, he was still unconscious and hooked up to everything.
"You have a visitor"
"Okay" I said softly and nodded my head
"Sarah?"
"Hey Jinnie" I half smiled as he entered the room "where's Jax?"
"With kookie..I grabbed you some stuff and wanted to drop it off to you. Everyone heard what's happened..Liz, Jake, and Jimin's parents are all flying in. We will all hold down the fort while you focus on Jimin"
"Thank you Jinnie"
"Of course..how is he?" He asked softly as he walked over and sat next to me, he looked at Jimin with so much sadness in his eyes
"They're going to see if he can breathe on his own..if he can..then it's just a matter of when he wakes up"
He nodded "and..how are you?"
"Tired" I stared down at mine and Jimin's hands intertwined "but..trying to be hopeful"
"That's good" he half smiled "the house is good by the way..no major damage, everything is fully functioning. Apparently the charger was defective, if you hadn't woken up when you did..or didn't grab the extinguisher, it would've been much worse"
"I know the crazy thing is though..I knew it was happening. Jax was the age is he is now, but he straight up told me that Jimin was burning food..and Jimin kept denying it and then Jax and I were choking and Jimin was panicking..but he couldn't see the smoke"
"Wow" his eyes widened as he stared at me
"I think it was my body's way of telling me something was wrong" I shook my head and stared down at Jimin
"Well thank god for that" his eyes watered "if you hadn't.." he swallowed a lump in his throat
"I know" I nodded
"I don't even want to put it out in the universe what could have happened" he wiped his face
"Me either..now I just need him to wake up"
YOU ARE READING
My Fat Ass Self a Park Jimin ff/smut 18+
Fanfiction"Ew, why are you wearing that? You look like a tortured sausage" "Are those real?" As she poked my back rolls "Why would anyone want to fuck her when she looks like that?" "What's up Shrek" "Hey fatass can you hurry it up?" "Opps didn't see you t...
