"Ew, why are you wearing that? You look like a tortured sausage"
"Are those real?" As she poked my back rolls
"Why would anyone want to fuck her when she looks like that?"
"What's up Shrek"
"Hey fatass can you hurry it up?"
"Opps didn't see you t...
No one had any questions to ask :( I'm still working on the wedding, I hope you're all looking forward to it! The spin off is about Jin btw. I hope you guys will like it as much as you love this one.
This chapter is slightly a filler while I'm working on the wedding. But I hope you enjoy ♡
We went to his parents house and when we stepped out of the car the front door swung open and Mrs Park came running out "Hey mom" Jimin smiled and went to hug her but she pushed him out of the way "Sarah honey! I'm so happy to see you!!" She threw her arms around me and locked me in a tight hug making me laugh as I hugged her back "How's my baby!? Jimin told me you guys picked out names already, oh my gosh and the wedding! I was just speaking to Diana, she stopped by to drop off some of the decorations and stuff.. I can't believe it!" We pulled away from the hug and I couldn't stop smiling "The baby is great, and I can't wait for the wedding! I'm so happy to see you too" She hugged me again and Jimin scoffed "Your own son.." he shook his head "Not everything is about you Jimin" we both laughed "Oh! Mrs Park th-" "Mom. Call me mom" "Okay..mom. This is my dad Jake and sister Liz, they both only speak english though" "Not a problem! It's so nice to meet you both! I'm Jimin's mom, his father is in the house" she hugged my dad and Liz "It's so nice to meet you too" my father smiled "Thank you for having us" my sister added shyly as she smiled "Well come on in! Let's start this party!" She cheered as we all followed her into the house, Jimin had intertwined our fingers as we walked side by side. We went straight through to the kitchen where it looked like she either cooked for five days straight or had it catered. Probably the latter considering they only got home last night. We went outback and some of the Fairy lights were already hung as well as the tables and chairs in their positions "Wow, it looks beautiful already" Jimin said with a smile "Yeah it does" I nodded and felt butterflies trying to escape my chest I can't wait for the big day. We spent the evening laughing and talking with everyone while stuffing our faces until we all felt sick. "Soo...did anyone tell Sarah yet about tomorrow night?" Jin asked "Not yet" Tae said with a smile "What's tomorrow night?" I asked "Your bachelorette party" Jungkook said with a wide grin "It's going to be so much fun!" Liz giggled "Where at?" "My house" Joon-ho answered as he sat back in his chair sipping on his beer "We have it all planned out" Namjoon nodded "What about Jimin's bachelor party? If all of you guys are going to be with me tomorrow night then that doesn't leave time for him" I asked with a pout making Jimin chuckle next to me "Don't worry about me Sarah, we have a plan" he nodded "No strippers for me though" I shook my head "I don't care if y'all get a stripper for him but none for me" "We know" Yoongi laughed "Aww why no strippers?" His mom asked making me laugh "I'm pregnant and have a broken arm, I don't really feel like I would have a good time. Plus I'm too attracted to Jimin" I blushed making everyone laugh "I hope I get a girl as whipped for me as you are for Jimin" Hoseok smiled "You will buddy" my dad assured him as they clanked their beers together "You're all so disgustingly perfect I'm sure you'll all find someone that loves you unconditionally" I smiled "Still, probably not as much as you love all of us" Jin said with a small sad smile making my eyes water "Facts.. I don't think I could settle for less" Tae added as he nodded his head "I hope you don't because you guys deserve so much love and happiness" I wiped the tears from my face "Still a cry baby" Liz joked as she giggled making all of us laugh We ended the night on a good note and Jimin and I decided it was time to go home. We put Rupert in the car, and my sister and dad followed suit "I can't get over how big he is" my dad said as he gave him hugs and kisses making Rupert excited while we drove home "He's a great cuddler too!" I boasted "He can sleep in my room then" dad smiled "That works" Once we got home we all said good night, Jimin and I went to our room while Liz and dad went to theirs, my dad was calling Rupert so he happily ran to him. Once we were in our room Jimin came up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist placing his chin on my shoulder, I closed my eyes and wrapped my arms around his "I love you" I said just above a whisper "I love you too Sarah, I'm so excited..we only have one day left and then you're mine forever" "I'm yours forever already" I giggled "Thank god for that" he kissed my neck making me smile "Shower?" "Sure" he kissed my cheek and released me, we grabbed our stuff and headed to the shower, he held me while we stood under the water "I can't wait to say our vows, and I can't wait to hold our little bean" "Me either" Fear started to kick in. My emotions were suddenly all over the place, I felt sick with worry. What if this all comes crashing down? What if we split? What if I get to be too much for him? What if something happens to the bean? "Jimin?" "Hmm?" "What if..this all falls apart? What if we don't make it? Or what if something happens?" "Baby you can't focus on the what ifs, everything isn't always rainbows and butterflies. We're going to face things neither of us are prepared for and that's okay because we will have each other. I promised you I will always hold your hand and I mean that" I started to cry "I'm sorry, I'm just so fucking scared" "Don't be sorry for how you feel, it's normal to be scared with all of the changes happening to us, I get scared sometimes too" "You do?" "Absolutely, I'm scared you'll fall out of love with me, I'm scared I'll let you down, I'm scared I'm not going to be a great father, I'm scared that I'll wake up one day and this will have all been a dream" he kissed my forehead "I'm scared of losing you" his eyes were watery "I'm scared of losing our child" "I'm scared of all of that too" "But..we're here. And I wouldn't trade any of this for the world" "Me either" I blinked and tears rolled down my face, he cupped my cheeks and stared into my eyes "I love you Sarah, and that's all that matters is that we love each other. Everything else we'll figure out together along the way" "Promise?" "Of course" he kissed my lips softly while I let more tears fall from my face. After we had our heart to heart and cried for a bit we finally decided to clean ourselves and get into our pajamas "Jimin?" "Yes my love?" He turned to face me while he was getting changed "I know we always cuddle but.. can you hold me?" "How do you mean babe?" "I don't know.." I climbed into the bed and under the covers, he got in after me and wrapped himself around me like a koala pulling me in tight, I did the same. I held onto him like he was my life force "Like this?" "Exactly like this" I smiled at him he looked at me with so much love in his eyes that I felt warm all over, he kissed my forehead and held me tighter "I love you Sarah" "I love you too Jimin" I'm not sure how long it took for us to fall asleep, but I had never felt more complete. It made me think about everything I had been through. I wondered how all of that lead me to where I am now. I don't deserve any of this. I sure as fuck don't deserve him. I don't want to die anymore. But I still hate myself. I try every fucking day to like myself and I just can't. I'm still the same pathetic piece of shit I always have been. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought about cutting, sometimes the urge to hurt myself is so strong. I have no idea why either. I could be having the best fucking day and out of nowhere my brain turns into this..monster. It's so hard to fight against your own brain and sometimes I'm just too tired to deal with it. But I always think about Jimin. He would be devastated if he found out I had hurt myself on purpose, or that I still hate myself with every fiber of my being and I can't make him hurt like that. So I try harder. It's exhausting. I want to be totally honest with him about this stuff..but when I do open up that way, he tries to comfort me even though I can see the sadness in his eyes and all I ever want to do is make him smile. Talking to Yoongi helps, the meds help, but I feel like I'll always feel this way. I'll always be this way. And it honestly makes me hate the future. But, at the same time, I look forward to the future. This is the biggest problem I have with my BPD. It's confusing. It's so unpredictable, up and down, contradicting, I can never tell which direction I'm going in and it always feels like I'm drowning. And what's worse is that I feel like one day I'll take everyone down with me. Yoongi says I shouldn't feel that way. But it's so fucking hard. I'm going to let everyone down and that is something I wouldn't be able to come back from. The morning came and I felt like I didn't get any sleep. I was so trapped in my own head that I still felt so fucking exhausted. I laid there staring at Jimin, his lips perfect and pouty while his eyelids fluttered. I wondered what he was dreaming about. Is it me? Is it the bean? That thought brought a smile to my face. Our bean. "Good morning" he smiled and pecked my forehead "Good morning" I cheesed "How'd you sleep?" "Great" I smiled "you?" "Better than I have in a long time" he shifted himself and held me tight "I'm assuming dad is making breakfast, I heard pots and pans and I can swear I smell bacon" "I'm not ready to move" "Me either" I giggled and nuzzled my face into his chest "Can we just stay like this forever?" "If you want to, I'm down" I shrugged as I held him closer which made him chuckle and close his eyes, we laid there for a few more minutes before the baby made me feel like I was going to pee myself "Let me up!" I jumped and he let go looking scared, I ran to the bathroom. When I was done I came out "sorry.. I thought I was gonna pee myself" he laughed at me as he rolled over in the bed "You scared me at first" "This baby is going to make me pee myself one of these days" "Wait until it's bigger and kicks your bladder" he laughed "Totally looking forward to it" I rolled my eyes and laughed while I climbed back into the bed with him, he kissed me and wrapped his arms back around me and then there was a knock on the door "Come in" My dad opened the door and poked his head in "Good morning guys, I made breakfast for us, your sister left already so it's just the three of us" "Thanks dad" I smiled "Where did Liz take off to so early?" Jimin asked "She said something about going to Jin's house" "Ah, probably baking a cake for tonight" I said and Jimin nodded in agreement "I'll see you guys downstairs soon then?" "Yes sir" "Thanks dad" I smiled He shut the door and I rolled over to peck Jimin's lips a few times making him smile as he returned my kisses "Tomorrow is the big day, are you excited?" "And nervous" I bit my bottom lip "Me too" he smiled "what about tonight?" "Ehh.. I appreciate the gesture but I don't really feel like doing anything today" "You'll have fun, I promise" he smiled and kissed my forehead "let's go eat" We walked downstairs and sat at the table with my dad while we all ate our breakfast and drank coffee in between having conversations. We spent the day in our pajamas watching movies with dad and talking about the wedding "Mom made appointments for everyone for early tomorrow morning. Us guys will get our hair done and you girls will get your hair, nails, and everything else done" "What time?" "I think she's sending a car at seven to pick everyone up since the wedding is at one and we all have to get ready" "Okay" I smiled "I'm excited to see you in your dress" "I hope you like it" I blushed "He's gonna love it" my dad chimed in with a smile "she looks beautiful" "She always does" he blushed and smiled at me making me blush and hide my face "you guys need to stop" they both laughed at me. At six o'clock there was a knock on the door, my dad opened it and Joon-ho walked right in "Come on bitch the party is waiting" "I have to get dressed!" "No you don't, let's go" he pulled me off the couch and out of Jimin's arms while Jimin did nothing but laugh "Have fun! I love you!" "Don't let them take me!" I pleaded dramatically while laughing "I'm sorry my love! Forgive me!" "Until we meet again then" I bowed and walked out the front door with Joon-ho even though I was still in my pajamas and slippers we were laughing as we got in his car and he drove me to his house "Ready?" He asked as we walked up to the front door "Considering I'm in my pajamas with no bra..sure why not" He opened the door and everyone cheered for me, there were yellow streamers everywhere, a giant penis shaped cake, pin the dick on the hunk game taped to the wall, and Jungkook wrapped a sash around me that said "Bride to be" and a crown making me laugh, Liz handed me a bouquet of yellow rose's with little dicks on sticks between the flowers making me laugh my ass off "You guys!" "Wait! We have more dicks!" Hoseok yelled as he threw penis shaped confetti in the air all over us making us all laugh as the dicks were getting caught in our hair "And more!" Added Tae as he grabbed the penis shaped ice cubes from the freezer "And last but not least" Yoongi pulled out a penis shaped bottle filled with juice for me to drink making me laugh so hard I had tears in my eyes at this point "What is with all of the penises!?" "It's a bachelorette party duh" Jungkook answered through his laughing "Hit the music!" Jin yelled, making Joon-ho hit the button on the stereo. It was so much fun. We all danced and they all got slightly drunk but not enough to feel dead the next morning for the wedding. We overate on pizza and junk food while we played different games and danced together being goofy and down right stupid at some points "Okay! Time for the biggest surprise!" Namjoon yelled, he grabbed me and sat me in a chair that Tae had just sat down in the living room "I said no strippers! There better not be a stripper" "Shut up and enjoy!" Liz yelled making me giggle, Joon-ho put on a sexual song and his back door slid open revealing a 'police officer' he looked up at me and smirked "What the fuck Jimin" I laughed my ass off "I don't know who Jimin is ma'am, but I'm here to show you a good time" he winked and walked over to me while he shook his hips making all of us laugh and cheer, he tore his shirt off and threw his hat to Joon-ho who caught and looked up at him laughing while Jimin gave him a wink and blew him a kiss, at this point we were all laughing way too hard and Jungkook started recording as well as Tae while they all cheered for him, he put on quite the show as he pulled out all of the sexual dance moves you could think of and even slid his baton between his legs grinding on it, I couldn't stop laughing and then he ripped his pants off revealing short shorts with a police badge clipped to his hip making me clap and laugh and he straddled my lap dancing on me in the chair "So, you single?" He asked as he winked "Sir, I'm getting married tomorrow!" "What he doesn't know won't hurt him right?" He winked and kissed me "I guess you're right" I laughed making him laugh as he was finishing his lap dance on me "Wanna come home with me and I'll show you what your boyfriend can't do?" "Well..as long as you promise he'll never find out" "He'll never have to know" he got off my lap and turned around to our friends and bowed "thank you beautiful people! It's time for me to head home now. I'm going to drop the bride to be off at her house before her fiance worries where she is, right ma'am?" "Yes sir!" I stood up making everyone laugh and give me hugs and kisses while they were making fun of Jimin for his performance, we got in his car and laughed the whole way home. We got to our house and he unlocked the door following me in "Where's dad?" "With my parents so we had the house to ourselves tonight" "Oooh I like the sound of that" "So tell me Miss..what is your name?" "Sarah, and you?" "Just call me officer or sir" "Yes sir, so tell me officer..what is it you wanted to show me again?" He smirked and grabbed me close and tugged on my hair as his lips found mine, he licked my bottom lip and I let his tongue in while I pulled on his hair, his other hand came up and lightly gripped my throat making me moan, he pulled his lips from mine "Your fiance is a lucky man" he chuckled "And I am one lucky woman" I kissed his lips again and then we went to our room where he gave me another strip tease that ended in him fucking me over and over again until I couldn't feel anything but his touch. I came undone around him too many times to count before he finally released himself inside of me, we laid there breathing heavily as my body pulsated and trembled "Holy fuck" I breathed out "Damn that was good" he sat up and grabbed his water bottle and chugged some down before offering me some which I accepted hurriedly. "I love you so much, thank you for surprising me" I giggled "I love you too, and honestly it was more fun than I thought it would be" he laughed "I thought I would be embarrassed" "With your body? You have absolutely nothing to be embarrassed about" I giggled and rolled on my side to hold him. Tomorrow is the big day. I'll officially be Mrs Park. We fell asleep with smiles on our faces tangled up naked and sweaty, and hoping that this dream never ends.
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Accurate portrayal of how my BPD makes me feel. Especially on a good day when it strikes out of nowhere. Anyway. Love y'all ♡ See you guys at the wedding ♡
