My Fat Ass Self a Park Jimin ff/smut 18+

Chapter 23

I woke up in the hotel room on the floor, I must've fallen out of the bed at some point. My head was pounding and my face hurt as well as my throat, it was about eight in the morning and I wasn't sure how far away I was from Yoongi's office so after picking myself up off the floor and sliding my shoes on I punched it into the GPS, I had just enough time to make it to the appointment. I rushed down to the lobby, poured a cup of coffee and started my car. I had turned my phone on for the GPS and all of the missed calls and texts kept coming, I ignored all of them not caring anymore about the events of yesterday. There's nothing I can do to change the past, I can only go forward. Even if that means taking this journey alone. I started chain smoking again while I was chugging my coffee following the gps to the office. I didn't want to see Yoongi, but given the way I'm feeling today.. I should. Famous last words from My Chemical Romance started playing on my playlist. Let me tell you, those lyrics hit different in that moment. 
"I am not afraid to keep on living, I am not afraid to walk this world alone, honey if you stay I'll be forgiven" I continued to sing and abuse my steering wheel. I hate my life. I hate everything. I pulled my car over a block away from the office, I didn't want my car in the parking lot because I knew the guys were looking for me and Jimin knew my appointment time. I walked into the office 
"Hey Sarah, he's in his office so you can just walk in"
"Thank you" I nodded to his secretary and knocked on his door before opening it, Yoongi was sitting behind his desk typing on his lap top, he stopped and looked over at me noting that I was in yesterday's clothes while my long hair looked like a rats nest sitting on top of my head. I had washed my face but ruminants of yesterday's make up were still around my eyes and you could tell I had been crying. 
"You came" he said sounding surprised as I took a seat in front of his desk
"I did" 
"You look like shit" 
"Thanks doc, you look pretty sexy yourself" I winked, I got no reaction out of him..not even a smile. 
"So, about yester-" he was cut off by his phone ringing "hey….Jimin you know by law I can't answer that….I know….no..she didn't come.. I know…. I will… okay" he ended the call and gave me a sympathetic look "he's going to file a police report if no one hears from you by tonight. Everyone's going crazy trying to figure out where you went" 
"Oh well. I'm here, I'm alive. You can tell him you saw me once I leave" 
"That's not enough and you know it"
"I don't think my doctor is supposed to be telling me what to do in my personal life" 
"Noted then. So Miss Anderson"
"Oooooh someone's mad now, I'm not even Sarah anymore. Is this foreplay?"
"Not funny"
"I wasn't trying to be" I rolled my eyes 
"How do you feel today?"
"How do you think I feel?" I furrowed my eyebrows "how was the party for your friend yesterday?"
"I don't think my patient should discuss my personal life with me" he gave me a cold look
"Damn.. more foreplay" I chuckled 
"Look.. let's cut the bullshit. Yesterday isn't what you think" 
"Pffft, yeah okay. I get it..ooooh Sarah is crazy, there's nothing going on blah blah blah I've heard it all before but I saw it with my own two eyes. For fucks sake you were there Yoongi, you mean to tell me you can deny what we all saw?"
"I saw my best friend walk in the door with his business partner, nothing else" 
"If that's all that was going on why did he never tell me about her? Why did he hide her from me? He's been going overseas with this woman and they've shared a bed. Isn't that something you would want to know?" 
"Yes, and I'm not telling you what he did was right. I'm just telling you that it's strictly business and nothing has or ever will happen between the two of them" 
"How come no one else knew then?"
"They did"
"And not one of you told me? And how come everyone but you looked so fucking shocked?"
"Because they weren't expecting him to bring her to his house, for you to find out that way in front of everyone" 
"And why did he feel the need to lie?"
"Because he didn't want you to worry every time he went overseas with her that there was ever a chance of anything happening. He didn't want you to think the worst case scenario" 
"Oh because this way was so much better" I rolled my eyes 
"Look.. you don't have to believe me but you should talk with him. That man loves you more than anyone else and he's head over heels in love with you. Do you really think he doesn't?"
"I don't know what to think. I only know what I saw. There was also a pair of panties in the downstairs bathroom way too small to be mine and no one knew who's they were...explain that one?"
"I can't" he shook his head 
"Well then. I think it's safe to say this is my last appointment with you. Tell Jimin I'll drop his shit off at some point and that I'm alive" I stood up from my chair 
"Don't leave. You need to talk to me" 
"No, I don't actually. I feel validated right now. Everything I had ever worried about as far as our relationship was concerned has just been proven. I'll make appointments every three months just to keep my meds. That's it. Other than that I don't want to see or hear from any of you." 
"You need to talk to Jimin" 
"No, I need to fix myself. That includes me and only me. I let people in and look what happens!!! Every fucking time!! I'm done. I don't want to deal with any of this anymore. Fuck you Yoongi. And more importantly, fuck Jimin. You'd think for a guy that caught his girlfriend having a threesome with his best friend he would understand how it feels enough to not fucking do it to someone else. I had opened myself up to him completely and he spit on me like I meant nothing. I might be a shitty fucking person, I might hate myself, hell I know I fucked up a lot in my life but I know damn well I deserve just a little bit fucking better than that. What kind of person makes you fall in love with them and then pulls the rug out from under your feet? He's clearly not who I thought he was" 
"Yes he is!" He yelled and slammed his hand down on his desk as he stood up "I can't fucking tell you because it's not my story to tell and if you'd just fucking talk to him this whole situation would be resolved!!" 
"It already is" I said quietly as I walked out the door of his office. I made my way to my car and drove over to my house to grab clothes, I grabbed the necessities and clothes before leaving again. I knew if I was home Jimin would just come over so I decided to spend a few days in a hotel. I'm not ready to face him. Once I got up to my room I decided to shower, I was brushing my hair in the mirror afterwards and I couldn't stop staring at it feeling really pissed off at my hair for no reason. Well, logically no reason. But in my emotional stupor I decided to cut it all off. I needed a new start right? I pulled all of my hair into a ponytail on the front of my head, grabbed a pair of scissors and cut it. It barely reached my shoulders now but I loved it, I pulled some hair down in the front and gave myself nice swoopy bangs to complete my new hair, now that I was staring at it I was in love. I need a new color though… I got dressed and went to the store up the road, I ran in and grabbed bleaching kits, and bright pink hair color. Once my hair was done I blow dried it and took a picture to send to Joon-ho, I ignored all of his texts and calls and sent him the picture I took