One Tail at a Time

The Unknown

I must have cried myself to sleep, because my eyes, nose, head and body aches even though Shifu held me through the night as I bawled my eyes out.  I know my crying upsets him, but all I can think about is my own agony and embarrassment at having to return after saying my goodbyes.  I just don't care about how he must be feeling for my miserable self.  In fact, Im kind of angry with him even though I know its not his fault.

I also feel really dumb for getting all excited like I did.  I even imagined my familys happy faces when they saw me, and it is this that is making me so embarrassed that I can't look at Shifu when he leans over to pick me up.  Instead I roll into a ball and tense my body up in his arms.

The sun is shining brightly through the open window and Fu Yun is silently sitting on the windowsill looking sad.  He followed me back even though he could have stayed at the Grove with his friends, instead he chose at the last second to follow me back here, which only makes me feel even more miserable.

But Shifu is not going to allow me to wallow in self pity.  Instead he carries me to the main hall where all the Disciples are eating breakfast before dumping me unceremoniously on the chair that has been mine since I arrived.  Instantly I duck my head down into my chest and whimper into my belly.  I don't want them to see me either, its just too shameful.  Only it seems as if my sudden return and now sitting with them for breakfast, is no big deal, because they are all still talking and laughing as if nothing is amiss.

"Xaiobai, eat your breakfast before Cheng Bao does." the one called Zi Lan says loudly to a roar of laughter.

"Eh?  Shut ya gob sixteen.... don't listen to him Xiaobai, I wouldn't dare eat your breakfast, Shifu will cut my meals if I do that!" he roars back to even more laughter before whispering down into ball of fur.  "Though if you really don't want it, you can just give it to me." he says just loud enough for the rest to hear, and suddenly the entire hall is laughing.  

It's as if yesterday didn't even happen, because they are still their rowdy and noisy selves.  Taking a peak at Shifu who is sitting on the other side of me, I can see his eyes twinkling with mirth even though the rest of his face is calm and unwavering.  So I poke my head out a bit more, and I can see Fu Yu jumping about on the place mat that he sits at.  Its on the corner of the table, which allows him to eat with the rest of us without getting knocked about by the odd fist that sometimes bangs the table when one of them gets a little too lively.

And at that moment, Shifus twinkling eyes, catch me staring.  I want to immediately hide my face again, but he quickly picks up a little of my porridge with his spoon and places it at my mouth.  Instantly every tastebud I own begins a happy dance in my mouth at the smell of it.  Chang Shan has added a little butter and sweetener to it, and the aroma is so divine that my tongue with all its taste buds overrule my head and flicks out to gobble it into my mouth.

My joyful eyes must be glistening because Shifus attempt to smother his smile fails when both sides of his mouth rise to form his happy face.  I really do like his face when it smiles, it shines straight out of his eyes and makes him seem far less stern.  Not that he is ever grumpy with me, but I have seen him mad with tthe Disciples and I sure wouldn't want that look aimed at me.

Only I stop thinking about his grumpy face when Shifu gives me some more of his porridge from his spoon.  I want to tell him Im not a baby and can feed myself, but I kind of like him feeding me like this, it makes me feel better and in no time at all, I have gobbled up all my breakfast from his spoon and I feel happy again.

Even more so, when he lowers his face to lightly snuggle my downy hair with his chin.  "Once we're done here, I am going to the Celestial Heavens.  Would you like to come?" he asks me.