One Tail at a Time

The Visitor

Another week has passed and I have been learning under Shifu two times a day.  Yesterday, I learned all about actions and consequences.  But rather than learn what is good and what is bad and the consequences, Shifu taught me about what I should hold in my heart and what I should let go of.

He knows that I am still sad because I think I betrayed Zhen Zhen, but I don't feel sad now, because Shifu said the pain in my heart was my own creation because I am allowing the sadness to linger.

"No one can hurt your heart unless you let them Xiaobai." Shifu said most firmly.  "You did what you thought was right at the time, so you should own it, after all, if you make a decision then you should always accept that there will be a consequence.  In this case, your decision to force your brother to face his own consequences is no longer your concern, but his.  Only how you manage the aftermath to your heart and your mind is solely yours." he said and that kind of makes sense to me.

Zhen Zhen did say that the mind is a very powerful tool.  It can either hurt you or it can assist you.  What thoughts you allow in it, is your own choice, no one can make thoughts stay in your head but you, so this is what I think Shifu meant so I agree with him and now I no longer feel guilty, though I do love my brother and want him to hurry and get better.

And of course this is only reinforced when Shifu addresses my adoration for him.  He thanked for me telling him I love him, and he said he would always treasure my feelings regardless of what direction they might take in the future.  Shifu also said, that feeling love for someone is a positive but it can also be painful if one allows it to overrule good decision making.  So I should love and accept that I have this feeling no matter who its for, but it should never cloud my mind with unnecessary thoughts or harmful emotions, which is what I was feeling for Zhen Zhen.

So I have let the harmful feelings of regret and remorse go and now I feel so much better and happier.  Even more now that I have a third tail and well on my way to gaining all nine so I can have a cloud of my very own, which I know Zhen Zhen will be very proud of.

And that has me thinking on who the visitor might be.  Shifu told me that I am going to meet with someone special today, so not only am I hoping its going to be Zhen Zhen, I am already out of bed and rushing about my little room in search of my best dress.  My room is now the one off Shifus room and its where both me and Fu Yu sleep though he is still snoring.  

We played fingers out which is a fun game to play with just two people and to make it even more fun, we played it in the dark.  Its a simple game where we count to three and thrust out a hand with either a closed fist for 0 or up to three fingers out and shouting out a number between none and six at the same time.  The one who guesses the right amount of fingers in the air, wins a point and playing in the dark makes it even more fun because we cant see each other to guess what the other is going to do.  

Of course we fight because Fu Yu is a big fat cheater and always changes his fingers at the last second which makes me so mad, only Shifu got annoyed with all the noise we were making and growled him real hard which made Fu Yu mad and not only did he throw a psycho at Shifu for ruining our fun, Shifu banished him to the hallway which only made me cry for my friend.

In the end, my pitiful sobbing made Shifu feel sad for me, so he let Fu Yu back in who was also crying, and by the time we both settled down, it was late into night and thats why Fu Yu is still snoring.  Hes had an eventful night, so I dont throw him off my big cushion this time, instead I quietly leave the room so he can sleep for as long as he wants before quickly running for the dining hall where my happy twitching nose can already smell my breakfast waiting for me.

"Xiaobai is here." I call out as I have been taught to do.

Senior Shanhu said I must make my presence known when walking into any room, because its the poilte thing to do.  Only none of them have to because I reckon its so I don't overhear them talking about important or secret things.  But seeing as I am excited to be getting a visitor today, I am being a good girl and announcing my arrivl, because I don't want to be punished and my visitor sent away, which Shanhu said would happen if Im naughty.