One Tail at a Time

A Time of Change

My little Xiaobai has all but gone.  Under my tuition, the years have flown by in a breath, and she has learned at a great rate of knots.  She is a sponge and filled with questions on everything that passes through her head.  She still has moments of ghost brain, but she is learning to keep herself in the moment but what I am looking at now is a girl on the very edge of womanhood.  I know that her body has gone through several changes over the past few years, and these I have definitely called in her mother to assist her with.

And that being her monthly cycle and her breasts in which she has been given several layers of cloth to keep them contained, though this is more for her safety because her brothers have already noticed and there have been times when I have caught them commenting on them.  But she is learning to keep that part of herself completely hidden as per her mother's instructions.  It is not easy for a female on Kunlun Mountain, and being the first, has seen her mother stepping in with extra lessons in self awareness and decorum.

Not that she really needs it.  She might be a little behind other girls in some matters, but she is decent and respectful of herself and others so I have no real concerns regarding her placement among the boys.  If anything, I doubt she would allow them to see her as a mere girl anyway, she is far too feisty and competitive and it will only be a matter of days on the mountain before she is fully made 'one of the boys'

My thoughts have definitely been drifting to her move to Kunlun Mountain, and today even more so.  She is going through more bodily changes which she makes me aware of the moment I arrive.  Growing pains are never pleasant and can make even my boys cry in the night, they are that painful.

So meditation is the lesson for the day, because it will help with the pain which I highly suspect is not just being produced by her body either.  She is going to ascend soon, so the pain is an addition to the new energy that I could feel the moment I entered the grove. It is a powerful essence that also comes with a scent of ozone to it, so for a few moments, I had stood breathing it in while basking in its Heavenly warmth.  It seems she will be joining us much sooner than I anticipated, because I think we are looking at a mere few days before her ascension hits.  And I know this, because it doesn't yet feel as if it has reached its full power yet.

 So under a tree, Zi Lan takes her through the motions of closing down her mind in order to bring her body under control.  Only the constant whining and the odd kick to my thigh to gain my attention has both myself and Zi Lan who has come with me, growl her.  She really can be unreasonable when her mind is solely on her own needs, but the tears and desperate need for a reprieve has my arms opening out to draw her onto my lap.

At this age, she is far too old to be sitting in my lap, only the tears and frustration at not being able to overcome the pain, has me taking hold of both hands and forcing them up in the air above her head before singing her a song my father had once sung to me when I was going through the same thing.

It is a memory I have held very close, because he very rarely showed affection, only like her, I too had struggled to overcome the pain though I had tried to hide it only to have my father walking in on me in the bath and in tears.   I will never forget the look of compassion and kindness on his face when he dragged me out of the bath, dressed me himself and then led me to his own private garden to give me something I have always considered mine.

And as I grew, that memory remained with me.  I had always dreamed that one day I would share this very kindness with my own child, only I never in a million years thought it would be for my first female student who is beginning to laugh when I not only sing the silly song my father made up, but her arms are being pulled and stretched above her head, while her legs are being kicked high into the air by my own.