One Tail at a Time

Her Power 2

A few weeks have past, and I now feel as if I have regained full control of myself again.  It is inconceivable to think that I allowed myself to fall to such an extreme, but after two weeks of solitude and then another two weeks or endless meetings regarding the Demons, I feel I am back on track.  Yet during the entire time, that little girl has been on my mind, even now.

And after a lot of soul searching, I think I might have reached an answer as to why I fell so hard.  The thing is, that girl has been my constant companion on this mountain.  As a baby, a child, a teen and now a woman and through it all, she has forced out every emotion I worked so hard to contain and then manage.  Her affectionate nature, her propensity for mischief, her ability to laugh and cry at the drop of a hat and the endless cuddles and kisses have all contributed a strong bond that I hold very dear, but it has always been of a paternal nature.

I will never know how far I would have gone had she not removed her tails and lessened her hold over me. But what I do know, is her kind of seduction can only work to that extent if there are feelings of attraction already present. And what I mean by that, is had she pulled the same thing on say someone like Haode or even Di Jun, she would have affected them to some degree, but not to same extent that I fell. Neither men know her as well as I do, so they certainly have not had the opportunity to grow affection for her either. 

Only this time, her age and the kind of being she is, has seen the most stringent hold I have over urges I thought I had let go a long time ago, rise.  I have watched her grow into a beautiful and desirable women, who is intelligent, brave, elegant and powerful, so it isn't really any wonder that my thoughts on our relationship have changed.  Especially seeing how three powerful men are willing to go to war over her.  What man wouldn't feel attracted to that kind of woman?

I know that in the past, I would have joined the fight for her.  I have never liked the demure and shy types, and nor did I seek out the aggressive and mean types either.  My ideal woman is beautiful of course, but she is honest, speaks her mind though respectful, elegant but capable of getting her hands dirty, and empathetic of all those in need, yet intelligent enough to know when to say no.  

Xiaobai is all of these things and more, so my first two weeks of seclusion saw me gain an epiphany I am not yet ready to accept.  I have fallen for her, and that lesson only highlighted it which I am struggling with.  She is my disciple, a child I gave an oath to her parents to protect along with an oath to my own parents to uphold the sanctity of the Shifu and Disciple bond which I came so close to breaking.

But having learned the The Overlord has declared war and is already in the process of gathering his armies while ignoring all attempts to talk peace, I must put aside all misgivings and finish this lesson with her.  I know now what I am walking into, and I have no doubt that I will be affected again, only this time, I think I have come up with a strategy that will see her expand this power while protecting myself in the process.

And it isn't until I am in the outer corridor leading to her chamber, that I get a feel for her energy which is at full strength.  I know she has been practicing this new lesson with a lot of gusto, so I am not surprised to find her practicing still, only I am nowhere near her, yet I can still feel the potency of her energy well before I arrive at the open door having been left open.

I really don't know what I was expecting when I arrived, but throwing stones at a target was not it.  And this only highlights one more affect her power has had over me.  The seductive nature of this lesson, has seen my mind hit the gutter more often than not over the past few weeks having dwelled too heavily on my physical urges and the kind of woman who can heat me from the inside out.  Thoughts I have not allowed myself to dwell on for centuries.