One Tail at a Time

No Virtue in Honor - 4

I am warm, the lights are dim and not a sound can be heard.  It is as if it was all a terrible dream, one that I am very easily letting go of, because this wamth and peacefulness I am surrounded by feels like home.  There are familiar smells nearby and even the light brush of a hand that is sweeping through my hair where Fu Yu sometimes sleeps, and a soft sniff instantly has the smell of peach blossoms forcing a smile from my face.

"Fu Yu......" I whisper softly, only it comes out a little raspy, so it doesnt sound like my voice at all.

"Xiaobai......" another voice suddenly kills the silence while his footsteps draw near.  There is a strange crunching sound which resounds off every step he takes which makes me frown, because it is not familiar.

Only the moment my eyes open, then the high roof of a tent comes into view along with Shifu who is now bending over me to peer into my face.

"Shifu?" I whisper.   He looks like he has just gotten out of bed because he is dressed only in his undershirt and underpants, so instantly my eyes snap closed in embarrassment for him seeing as he obviously forgot to put his clothes on.

"How are you feeling Xiaobai?" he asks as if he is completely unaware of why I am shrinking into my blanket.  He is almost naked!

"Shifu, you forgot your clothes...." I whisper back from under my blanket which is immediately followed by a half grunt half laugh before he quickly walks away.

I can hear something going on from the other side of the tent so I am assuming he is putting his clothes on now, only I suddenly jump when the blanket is forced down and Zhe Yans face comes into view.

"Xiaowu..... you're awake.  How are you feeling?" he asks in a rush of breath and looking most concerned which instantly has me realizing that it was his head next to me on the pillow and not Fu Yu who is fluttering close by but seeming too afraid to approach.

"I feel fine...." I reply a little confused, because I am now wondering why we are in a tent and why Shifu is half dressed and why all three are now looking at me as if I had just died or something.

"You feel fine....." Zhe Yan says softly as my hand is taken into his and my pulse read and all the while, my eyes remain on Shifu who is studying Zhe Yans intense expression carefully while Fu Yu looks like he wants to come closer but is too afraid to.

"Your pulse is fine and your energy levels are back to normal but I need to ask you a few questions." Zhe Yan says and becoming super serious.  I hate it when he puts the physicians face on because it is super scary and going by the way Shifu leans in to listen, says something dire has happened.

"Alright." I reply meekly and just wanting to get up now because I am not feeling at all comfortable with the way they are all studying me.

"What do you remember?" he asks slowly while Fu Yu finally makes a move to draw closer.

My eyes half close as I try to focus on where I last was.  In the back of my mind is the sounds of a distant dream and fleeting images of a boy on the ground that I shed tears for, but the more I focus on his face, the more the sounds grow in intensity until eventually snippets of a a war come flooding back into my mind like a tidal wave.  I am drowning in it and I begin to cry so hard that Zhe Yans arms automatically reach out to drag me in.

"I take it you remember what happened?" he asks ever so kindly.  His voice is sugar soft and so gentle that it only makes me cry more, but as much as I am loving this warm embrace, my arms cannot help but reach out for Shifu.

For forty five thousand years, his arms have held me for every drama and trauma I have ever known, and for the life of me, I want so much to allow Zhe Yan the chance to hold me and whisper more kind words, but the more Shifus eyes soften and look close to tearing, the more I want his arms.  Its kind of like I want to feel the familiar safety I have always felt in his arms, but at the same time I want to give it back to him, because I can see that my tears are more upsetting for him than what we have left behind.