One Tail at a Time

My Seventeenth Disciple

I have been back for two days and have rested enough, only my first Disciple is hovering about the bed and demanding I continue to rest seeing as I am close to rising.  Being bed bound is not something I will abide by for much longer, because there are things that need to be done in order to keep her safe, things that I have been quietly dwelling on since my return.  My injuries are not light, in fact I am still in pain, but I am definitely healing, so I do not growl when Liang arrives with the girl who is demanding entry.

She is a little battler that one and though she cries at the drop of a hat, her bravery for one so young really is admirable because she is now turning her tearful doe eyes onto Die Feng, who is staunchly guarding the door despite the sudden squawking howl coming from her little mouth while her bunched up fists look set to pound him into an early grave, she is that brave.  

Putting the book down with a smile, I think back to that day.  I really can't remember anything he has written other than his injured body sitting up smiling at me as I rush past Die Feng and dive straight onto the bed.  Though his mention of my crying and the ability to gain whatever I want just by looking sad does have the old mischief rising, because I am now wondering how affective it is now that I am an adult and just like that, I softly sniffle against him.

We are still in the hammock garden and though his hand is still lightly resting on my belly, I think he might have fallen asleep.  He's been so busy lately so I know he's tired, but I want a little of his attention too, so sniffling a little louder against his chest, I finally feel his hand move when he wakes up with a start.

"Xiaobai?  What's the matter?  Is it the baby?" He asks with a grogging voice filled  with concern and dread seeing as it is obvious he thinks my sudden whimpering is due to contractions or worse.

"Did I wake you?" I ask with a hint of concern in my own tone while turning my doleful eyes upwards....  "I'm sorry Mo Yuan, I didn't mean to." I add tearfully which I am forcing out with ease.

"Dearest.  What's the matter?" he asks hoarsely as I am forcefully pushed back so he can get a good look at me along with my belly which is still right now.

"It's nothing dear... I'm sorry...  I just wanted some loquats.  I haven't had any for months, and well I miss them, that's all." I reply hanging my head in what I imagine is a look of shame for having scared him witless while forcing the tears to fall.

"But dearest, you know you can't have them.  Yunru said the acid is too strong for the baby and you do not have the ability to eat just one, you gorge yourself on them which is not healthy for either of you." he whispers softly against my head and sounding far too sensible for my pregnant brain.

"I know.... it's just that......" I stammer before bursting into tears for real this time. 

 Aish... I never really understood how affective my tears were back then.  Of course I knew he hated to see me cry and I would shamelessly use my tears to get what I wanted, only the look of absolute devastation on his face as I bawl my eyes out only makes me cry harder.  Earlier in my pregnancy, the tears came thick and fast for absolutely every reason under the sun, but after a strict diet change was ordered by Yunru, my emotional state was brought under control, and because I am being taken good care of, I never had a need to cry.  But being told I can't have even one single loquat, has the tears drowning him out because my emotional state is now  skyrocketing to pathetic proportions.

"Dear please.....  " he almost cries himself, he is so unsettled by my crying, that I can feel the instability of his heartbeat when I am gently drawn back into his arms.   "I'll go and get a couple for you dear, please stop crying..." he whispers against my head while his hands gently rub my back in a harried attempt to ease my tears.