One Tail at a Time

One Night of Fun

I guess I should have known what this power would mean for us now, but I really didn't envision how changed I would become everytime he drew near.  I know Shifu is trying his very best to make it all seem like a big mistake and I should do my part by letting it go, but how can I when we kissed?  And I mean, really kissed!  Lips, tongue and that overwhelming heat is all that I can see and feel every time he walks by, or sits close or even looks my way and it doesn't help that I can read his eyes like an open book.  Because despite the great effort he is putting into acting as if nothing happened, he is just as affected as I am.

But despite all of this, there are two very good reasons why I am not throwing myself at him, which I so badly want to do.  And the first being Queen Muxian and the myriad of women like her.  I do not want to become just another woman on heat everytime he enters the room.  I do not want to be the woman who shamelessly lowers herself to a prideless and jealous reject and all for a man who will never love me back.  I mean, who in their right mind would ever belittle themselves to that point?  To my mind, this is out of the question, I am worth far more to this Mountain and Qing Qiu, than a woman scorned.

However the second reason, and the main one that has my head bowing into submission, is the oath I took when I became his Disciple, because no matter which way I look at it, I will always be his Disciple and he will always be my Spiritual Father.  This I cannot change, because the oath is sacred in it's entirety.  I swore on my soul to uphold the sanctity of Kunlun Mountains past, and to adhere to its glorious history by pledging my life to its future, so there can be no grander reason than that and nor do I have the right to see anything more in that kiss than what it actually was.  A mistake that we are both guilty of making, so nor do I have the right to place blame or even demand that he take responsibility for something that has no place here anyway.

And there it is.  It doesn't matter that I fell head over heels in love with that kiss, and want so much for another, because like I said, I swore to adhere to this mountains glorious history that Shifu was very much a part of, and with an impending war that will no doubt add more to its already imposing grandeur, then I absolutely will let this go and move on.  After all, thousands of lives are at stake here, I cannot afford to lose myself over one kiss when my brothers, Shifiu and this mountain are depending on me and me on them.

No matter how hard it is, when I catch him furtively staring my way!  This too will pass I suppose, so I do my best to think of other things instead, like preparing for this war that is a constantly in the back of my mind even now because Im in the armoury with Shanhu.   We are carefully going through each of the war packs we prepared days before.  We are checking one final time to ensure that each pack has everything it is meant to have right down to an elixir that will end our lives should we need to take it because if there is one thing a Disciple of Kunlun Mountain will never allow, and that is to be taken prisoner and because the elixir is on a leather cord, we will all wear it around our necks for easy access  because we would rather die than suffer the humiliation of being abducted and embarrassing this temple we take great pride in.  

"180cm square canvas....." Shanhu calls out as I quickly delve into each pack to ensure it is there.  This is what we will use for shelter from the elements should we have to abandon our tents, but they can also be used beneath our pallets to prevent severe chills and even pneumonia that the cold will cause when it seeps up through our mattresses.

"All there." I reply with a sharp nod of my head.

"Ration packs times three....."

"All there...." I reply after a quick tally of the rice, millet, salt and wheat which is long lasting and is very easy to prepare and seeing as we are all adept at gathering wild herbs and native edible plants and roots which are rich in both flavour and minerals, then we won't starve.