I Surrender | tk

Chapter 31: Emperor

Pic cred eros_kv

Sorry for the mistakes plz :)

Third Person POV

"You---you know I'm not leaving until I make sure you won't do anything stupid." Taehyung says, sitting on the ground against the door of Jeongguk's shop, resting his head against it.

He's not sobbing now and he doesn't hear Jeongguk cry either but hears a sniffling sound from time to time. His eyes hurt, are definitely swollen and he knocks on the door, a faint sound is heard only.

"Please Jeongguk, if you want me to leave then promise me you won't do anything stupid. Please don't hurt yourself. You did nothing." Taehyung utters.

"None of this is your fault. You've been so strong so please don't---don't let yourself lose like this---please." Taehyung says and he knows Jeongguk can hear him.

Jeongguk can, he can hear him completely well but he's not able to make sense of anything at all. He's calm now, not crying at all and he's forgotten all the shit that happened with Sungho earlier, his mind only focused on the words that Taehyung spoke.

Because I love you. And Jeongguk hopes they are not true and that the memory of this will be gone when he'll wake up from a good sleep.

"I'll be fine, Taehyung. You can go." Jeongguk says, staying in the same position, head resting on his knees as he hugs them.

Hearing Jeongguk's voice, Taehyung feels a relief wash over him but it's short lived because of the words Jeongguk had said.

"I'm not brave enough to end my life I think. Fate wants me to suffer more so I'll be alive. You need to go." Jeongguk's words are a stab but Taehyung ignores his own pain right now and he'll ignore it for the rest of his life if needed.

"Okay. If---if that's what makes you happy, I'll go." Taehyung says and stupidly hopes for Jeongguk to stop him, open the door and hug him tightly or let him hug him tightly---anything but Taehyung just wants to be close to Jeongguk.

The reply doesn't come and Taehyung knows he should go because Jeongguk's has had enough for one day and he now feels it was wrong to confess while Jeongguk was so messed up infornt of him.

But the truth is, he couldn't control it. His heart had full control over him and the truth just came out without him being aware of it himself. He's never confessed his feelings for Jeongguk to even himself yet here he is, have told Jeongguk that he loves him.

And no matter how much hurt he has gotten in return of saying these words, it's true and Taehyung knows he'll have to accept it rather than ignoring it.

So this is how it is then---for a one sided love that when you've said it all---grief and pain is the price you pay for love.

Taehyung wanted to laugh at his stupidity. How---in just moments, in mere words, he destroyed whatever relationship he had with Jeongguk. They were good with eachother lately, civil---not fighting, they fucking kissed.

Taehyung was atleast able to see Jeongguk, touch him and---be himself infront of him without having to pretend because Jeongguk knows it was a mask he's wearing, he hopes Jeongguk knows.

But he had lost it all just because in all this mess, he couldn't control his own emotions when Jeongguk was hurting.

And he can't help but blame himself because from the very start---it was him who got Jeongguk involved in this and now look what has happened.

Taehyung feels like he's hollow from the inside. The sole reason he had found to be alive and feel the world, he just lost it and he's too numb to feel the loss, knowing very well how he's gonna break down when he'll finally register it all---when he's alone in the darkness.