Football Smut Collection

Even The Pain - Virgil van Dijk

Warnings: explicit sexual content, strong language

She shouldn't be doing this. She knows it, too. But his kiss is intoxicating... The way his fingers tangle in her hair and pull just hard enough that she can feel the slight ache travelling to her core... The way he whispers her name with a low, gravelly voice that tugs at her heart... The way he owns every broken piece of her shattered by him...

"I missed you so much," he grunts, sending a shiver over her spine that somehow still manages to reach her heart. He misses her. He broke her and then he misses her.

"Not a word," she chokes out, unable to shape the words swirling on her mind, too scared the moment would be ruined and the ugly truth would push its way to the surface... The ugly truth that those strong hands spoiling her body now were touching someone else while she was sleeping soundly at home, thinking they belonged to her and only her just like she belonged to them.

The ultimate betrayal. The man she gave everything to finding comfort in another bed, looking for another body to bury his sorrow into, finding another woman to put his rage out on... All the emotions she took and owned so proudly from him, shared with him and gave herself up for were given to someone else...

"Whatever you want, love." He can barely finish the sentence and she pulls his hair hard enough so that he let out a hiss. Him calling her love is a lie. If he loved her, he'd have never done this to her.

Cheating was an ugly word but it was perfect for what he did... It described how she felt in the moment when she saw the pictures of him going to his hotel room with another woman. Cheated... She still remembers the way she couldn't breathe for long moments, her hands shaking like leaves as she held her phone and just stared at the photos. The stages of grief playing down in seconds, from denial to wrath until a scream so primal burst from her, it even scared her.

"Lie to me one more night, lie to me with no words." She kisses him full on the lips, falling back on the bed, her legs on either side of him. She grinds to him hungrily, trying to quiet her mind, to erase the pain desperately if even for just one time.

The noises of the party blurred into the background, as well as her friend's disapproving expression and warning words that she shouldn't let him woo her away. She knows it, too. She shouldn't. But she wants him. She aches for him and aches because of him. Everything hurts, life hurts, breathing hurts, getting out of bed hurts, thinking of him hurts, saying yes to him hurts but saying no hurts, too, not having him pains her, too.

"Babe, please –"

"Virgil, please," she cuts her off, knowing too well what he wants to say; begging, pleading, reasoning, she's heard it all but the pain dulled his words, the pain he inflicted on her, the pain she isn't sure she could survive again and have no intention to try and find out. Just one night, just one more time, she wants to get lost in him; one last time before she turns her back on him and the greatest love of her life to protect herself.

"Whatever you want." He nods and rolls them over so she ends up under him. His hand roams over her front, playing over her breasts and ribcage before slipping under the hem of her pants and into her knickers.

She's of course already wet for him. He's always had a violent affect on her body. She's always thought the reason for that is that she's given her all to him from the first second; mind, body, soul because she believed in him. Not anymore... Tears gathered in her eyes by the thought... Tears of anger, helplessness...

"Make me believe, just a little," she whimpers and he nods, pain flickering over his strong face as he leans down to press his full lips to hers.

His hand slide over her wet slit and she gasps quietly, giving him a chance to deepen the kiss. He thrusts his fingers into her hotness and she lifts to his palm, so familiar, so knowing... Knowing her, the little points in her body that pushes her closer to the edge.

She's clutching his shoulders, her nails sinking into his shoulders. Is there another one already? Is she the other woman now? The ugliest thoughts fight to push their way into her mind and she bites her lip to hold onto the sob that's shaping in her throat.

"Take me, please," she mutters, panting softly as his fingers curl against her inner walls and she pushes his jeans down his ass with shaking hands. She needs more, she needs to feel him to make the thoughts go away.

"You're the most beautiful," he whispers with a rough voice and 'liar' almost slips through her lips but he thrusts into her and the word is stuck in her throat, washed away in a second as he fills her perfectly, fitting her like he was made for her. He feels like heaven inside her. Her back arches from the bed and she wraps her legs around his narrow waist, pulling him closer to her.

Her arms wrap around his neck and she kisses him, pouring all her sorrow and pain into it, the bitter taste of desperation flavouring the sweetest kiss they shared since the day he stumbled and made both of the fall to depth, neither of them imagined could be possible.

"Harder," she urges him when the noises turn way too loud on her mind again and he obliges to her.

He pounds into her hard and fast now, his mistake driving every swing of his body, her pain swallowing every single clash. Her belly tightens with the familiar sensation. Her nails sink into the back of his neck as they get closer and closer to their release.

"I'm so sorry," he says with a trembling voice.

"Please don't," she chokes out, tears now streaming down her face. "Please don't lie to me."

"I'm not, please –"

"Stop it, please." She stares up at him, begging and he nods. He starts kissing her tears away, his movements turning erratic. The harder she moves to him, the harder he pushes her into the mattress. His mouth is like the most amazing false promise over her cheeks, one that she wants to believe just for a second, just one last time. His hand falls between them and she cries out when he touches the most sensitive part of her body.

Her walls clench down on his hardness, milking him as he chases his own release for a few more pushes, a few more moments before he buries himself into her to the tilt and finds peace in the depth of her.

"You're only sorry you got caught," she whispers firmer than she thought she'd sound. Her tears are dried on her face. She's done. She's done with him. This will hurt, hurt for long time, maybe even years later there'll be an ache left but she's done.

"Babe –"

"I loved you. I still do, Virgil but... We're done." She kisses him one last time before she pushes him lightly on the chest and he rolls off her, staring at her.

"If I could turn back time –"

"I know." She nods, pulling her dress down her trembling legs as she stands. "If I could forgive –"

"I know." He mirrors her nod, pulling his jeans back on, giving her one last longing look.

"Thank you for everything... Even the pain." She smiles at him before she walks out, leaving him behind, knowing, one way or another, he'll always be a part of her.