The Mistake [ Jimin FF ]

Emotions

Y/N's view

Valeriya's figure started to slowly fade away as Hoseok was escorting her towards the exit of the mansion, whilst I was still stood frozen on the ground not able to comprehend what just happened. Without even noticing, I was suddenly all on my own the only thing left was the passed away corpse of Lorenzo. He was gone. It was as if everything finally became clearer and more realistic. There was no escape from this wretched place. At least not alive that was for sure! 

What was clouding my judgement all this time? Was I too confident in my abilities and didn't see that Jimin was one step ahead of me? Valeriya also got involved in the situation too early making things more complex. Maybe I should have just stayed in here rather than trying to escape. Now I lost the small fragment of trust he had in me and placed myself in a worse condition than before. My ambitious self was what prevented me from being realistic and because of me Lorenzo was dead and Valeriya was in danger. I steadily made my way towards Lorenzo's corpse and positioned myself near him. I kept apologising in my head for the excruciating pain and sorrow he must have gone through for the past months. If only I knew he was right under my nose, I would have helped him escape. 

He had a lovely family which now was destroyed because of Jimin. He was also my family and was taken away from me. I wasn't going to let Jimin walk away from this. He took it too far and I had to make him face the consequences no matter how long it was going to take. It was my job to end him, and I've not done enough. My father's instruction didn't make my job easier either: do not kill him because we need to put him in prison, death wouldn't be as abysmal as being locked up for all his life. 

If we didn't need him alive, I would have let Justin kill him in the club, or I would have just finished him off in his sleep. It was amusing how after everything that had happened I still wanted to gain my parents' approval and make them proud of me, yet I never managed to do so. The Institution was so precious to them that I felt like I was of less importance. No matter who it was from the family, the business came first. How was I supposed to compete with an organisation? I chuckled at my pitiful thoughts and hung my head low. It was always my parents. I wasn't saying they didn't love me. I was aware that they did, but they had priorities which they put before anything else. Money never worked. They thought that it would become a substitute for their absence, but it wasn't enough. I became a perfectionist because of them, just so I could attract their attention, although that didn't work for me. They never saw my efforts. The lack of proper support and affection changed me in many ways both positive and negative.

Despite that, I still admired them for their determination to cleanse the world from all evil and for what they had achieved. They seemed happy; however, I didn't feel as if I was a part of that contentment. That was why Valeriya and Lorenzo were the people I valued most in my life. They gave me the affection I sought and were there for me when my family wasn't. I probably spent more Christmases with their kin than my flesh and blood. Even though Valeriya's parents weren't that dissimilar from mine the main distinction was that they were always proud of her despite the Institution coming first place, whereas my parents didn't miss to find a flaw for me to improve. The fact that they weren't the heads of the department probably played a part because they had more time to enjoy each other's company, whereas my parents were away most of the time. 

That was the reason why Lorenzo was more like a father figure to me than my real father. He practically raised me and took me in as one of his own. He didn't deserve to die that way, and I was going to avenge him no matter the costs. To do that I had to stay alive. I knew Jimin wasn't going to kill me anytime soon since he went all this way just to keep me in here, so I had some time to figure out a new plan to put him behind bars. He was persistent, so he wasn't going to let go until he reached his aim so what I had to do was reach my goal before him and no obstacle was going to come in my way. However, sooner or later there was the possibility of him getting bored of investigating who I work for and killing me. I had to prevent this from happening...