𝐈𝐍𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐂𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐃 - 𝐗𝐗𝐗𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐀𝐂𝐈𝐎𝐍

I DONT WANNA BE ALONE

i probably stayed in the bathroom for at least an hour, staring at this unknown person in my reflection.

i couldn't talk to her, because any move i made she mimicked, and she uttered no sound, so i was stuck to stare at her in confusion and disarray, trying to figure out who she was.

i noticed her wrists had old scars and cut marks all over them, and it seemed every time i looked away and then looked back at her face, she looked even sadder and emptier than before.

there was a knock at the bathroom door, but i ignored it, not wanting to be dealt with or see anyone in this house right now.

after all, i wasn't wanted.

i'm hated, and they want to get rid of me.

i sat on the toilet seat, which was covered, and stared at the wall in silence and emptiness. the voices in my head were silent, as they'd been since i came into the bathroom, and i felt uncomfortably alone and empty.

the bathroom door opened, making me mentally curse myself for not locking it in the first place, and i glanced over to see jahseh entering the bathroom, which made me look away.

"ary, get up." he said flatly, and i continued to ignore him.

he's been ignoring me for days, i think he can deal with getting ignored for a few minutes. and my ignoring him now wouldn't hurt nearly as much as his ignoring me has hurt, let alone him looking me in my face and saying

"aracely, you don't satisfy me enough, i'm done with you."

so all is well, really.

he sighed, pulling me up by my arm and forcing me to stand up, which i did, though still staring off at anything other than him.

"you cant even look at me?" he asked, making me clench my jaw in frustration.

of every time i spoke to him and he couldn't look at me, or even have the decency to answer or acknowledge my presence, he's complaining about getting ignored for a few minutes?

i looked at him, locking eyes with him and then breaking the eye contact and shoving past him, out of the bathroom and away from him.

i had nowhere to go, really, which broke me inside. i couldn't just leave and go somewhere, because i had no car, and no direction or idea where exactly we were. i couldn't exactly tell my way around, just yet, and didn't know my way here from anywhere.

i couldn't go 'home', because i don't have one.

i'm alone, trapped and lost at the same time.

i went into the room, knowing jahseh would likely come in soon, but i just had to accept defeat. i couldn't escape or avoid this, or anyone, because i had no escape. nowhere to go to get away, no one to help me.

i felt my thoughts start to consume me, and my body begin to numb, and i watched everything begin to fade to black, making me groan lowly.

and there he was, his presence was alarming, but he approached me casually, taking his time to move his dark, shadowy figure towards me.

"ahh, how have you been?" he asked, his voice like a whisper in my ears.

every voice in my head was screaming and crying at him, trying to get him away, yet the voice i held that could utter real words, wouldn't speak.

i couldn't.

"ary, sing." one of the voices said, making me furrow my eyebrows.

i felt his shadowy figure wrap around me, and he continued to speak his whisper into my ears. "i see you've been self harming."

i put my hands up, covering my ears and squeezing my eyes shut, trying to avoid seeing or hearing any more of him, and i took a deep breath, though i began to find it hard to breathe.

fuck.

"sing, aracely. if you want him to go away, you have to sing." the voice repeated, and i struggled to take in another breath.

if it'll get him to go away, i'll do anything.

i couldn't think of anything, so i opened my mouth and let anything escape, just hoping the sound of my voice in sing would be enough.

"please, i don't wanna be alone. free me, cause i don't wanna be alone."

as if it was magic, as soon as i opened my eyes, everything was calm. he wasn't there, and my body began to calm, my lungs finding it easier to take in oxygen with every breath.

i saw movement out of the corner of my eye, and my head snapped up to see jahseh, standing by the doorway and attempting to slowly shut the door without me noticing, though he failed.

i looked away from him, focused on remembering the melody i'd just sang, realizing i really liked it, and i began to hum it, shutting my eyes and disregarding his presence.

when i opened my eyes, jahseh stood right in front of me, staring down at me, and i looked away from him only to have him tilt my chin up and force me to look at him.

"sing to me."