Star Wars: A dyad in the Force 「A Reylo FanFiction」

Act 47: Who is the pervert now?

Falcon, 36 ABY

The approach of darkness limited the light, although there was no sun and no moon. A cause of uneasiness troubled his mind, disturbing the peace. It was as if the blackness of the Galaxy dropped like a heavy cloak over the Falcon, the open space around it was now black and starless, and the whispering of the restless wins was rising a bitter howl. Ben shivered for a moment, and then he realized that there were no winds in open spaces, especially none that could howl.

He sat in the deepest shadows, looking across through the window at the open blackness as images flashed through his mind, replaying his previous actions. He was drawn into the moment when he ended up kissing Rey. His boldness is one of a kind, an action so foolish and, at the same time, so unfair towards Rey. He was losing his mind, acting like a child, one that had his emotional hurricane in full force today.

His storms rose inside him today, never because of Rey, but from the damage, the triggers of his past. It was for him to know that the fear came from another place and time that there was no connection to her. But today, his past was forgotten for a moment, his heartbeat again, and then he acted like a moron. Well done, Ben! He sunk in thought and memory; he was oblivious to the slap that Rey delivered to his face. He deserved it, after all.

His stomach turned unhelpfully, and he felt his skin turn clammy; each time he remembered the kiss, his lips touching hers, her brown eyes meeting his dark ones. He whispered an apology and one more, collecting his wits. Raising his eyes again, he stared at the unknown; he remained there to assess the scene before moving. Because even if he wanted to move, his legs were not obeying. They were numbed from his actions, the kiss, and that new sickness.

He turned and stared at the opening, wanting to climb down, but he felt his heart sink further; in the days before his past, a sound of life seeped out into the silence. Today acts like a scream so loud that it leaves him thoughtful and weary as if he had fought for so long without rest. To him, there seemed only one possible answer to his questions; the new illness had caused all the damage. And even if he knew that wasn't the right excuse to justify his actions, it was the only excuse he could find.

How great would be his humiliation, how complete his punishment be if the rest of the group found out what he did? He had crossed his limits, limits he knew he was not allowed to touch. How complete were his loss and his desolation if he was not only thought of as a monster but now as a pervert as well? He shook his head in disbelief and finally climbed down the metallic bar and found himself in the small storage unit.

A cold shower and maybe a punch across the face would bring him back to his reality, make those fireworks stop, and return the familiar burn of his pain and suffering. Become a friend that Rey deserves and not a pervert that forms an attack kiss to the only person who believed in him, who forgave him, and saved him. Foolish Ben Solo.

Ben pushed himself and strode out of the room and towards the showers' area; he was feeling filthy from his actions and the new sickness. And he needed time to himself to think. He stripped off the one he was wearing and placed it in the robotic cleaning auto system to be washed and dryer to wear when he was done showering. He locked the door and stepped into the shower; the water turned on as the moving sensors became aware of him. He turned the water from warm to cold and stepped under it.

Ben didn't fight the coldness even though his flesh was already goose-bumped; the water temperature was cruelty he withstood. He remained there, letting the cold freezing water calm his thoughts and ease his heart. He grabbed the first random bottle and poured the liquid on his hair and body. Next, he started washing his hair and suddenly realized that the washing gel he used smelled like spring and sweetness. He seized the bottle and read it; it was a cherry blossom shower gel for girls.