EXT. RED BASE - DAY
Camera pans up to reveal GRIF and SIMMONS standing atop Red Base. Lopez is visible in the background, tinkering with something near the base's entrance.
SIMMONS: Hey.
GRIF: Yeah?
SIMMONS: You ever wonder why we're here?
GRIF: No. I never, ever, wonder why we're here. My purpose is to get through the day with minimal effort and maximum napping. Semper Fi, bitch.
CHURCH possesses Lopez. LOPEZ convulses slightly, emitting a series of garbled, mechanical noises and sparking.
LOPEZ: Keegakergerk! Zzzzt! Error: Hostile intrusion detected. Recalibrating vocalizer. Initiating Spanish protocol.
SIMMONS: (Eyes widening, taking a step back) What? What's wrong with Lopez? He's making even weirder noises than usual. Is he having a mechanical stroke?
They turn to look at him, a mix of concern and mild annoyance on Simmons' face, pure indifference on Grif's.
GRIF: (Shrugging, already looking bored) I don't care. Probably just needs a new battery. Or maybe he finally installed that voice modulator to sound like a space pirate. I wouldn't put it past him.
SIMMONS: (Taking another step closer to Lopez) Hey, Lopez, uh.. you okay, man? You're sparking. That's usually not a good sign. Unless you're trying to communicate with us via Morse code, which, knowing you, is entirely possible.
CHURCH (AS LOPEZ): (Lopez's robotic voice, but with a slight, unfamiliar waver, and a clear undertone of frustration) Aye, muchachos, necesito darles...... un aviso... (Guys, I need to give... you a... warning...)
CHURCH: (Through Lopez, completely bewildered and exasperated) ¿Qué? ¿Por qué estoy hablando en español? ¡Yo no puedo hablar español! This is ridiculous! What kind of ghost is stuck in a robot that only speaks Spanish?! I can barely string together a sentence in English right now! (What? Why am I speaking Spanish? I don't know Spanish!)
SIMMONS: (Confused, leaning closer to Grif, whispering) Um... Sure... Lopez, are you trying to tell us something important, or did you just swallow a dictionary?
GRIF: (To Simmons) Maybe he's just trying to be fancy. You know, like when Donut tries to use big words he doesn't understand.
CHURCH (AS LOPEZ): (Voice growing more frantic, but still in Spanish) ¡No, no, escuchame! ¡La bruja los va a matar! ¡Ella está trabajando en el tanque! ¡Ella es muy peligrosa! (No, listen to me! The mean woman is going to kill you! She is fixing the tank! She is very dangerous!)
SIMMONS: (To Grif) "The mean woman"? Is he talking about Tex? But why would she be fixing a tank? And why is he calling her a witch?
GRIF: (Yawning) Maybe she put a spell on him. Or maybe he just really hates women who work on vehicles. Some robots are like that. Very traditional.
EXT. BLUE BASE - DAY
Cut to TUCKER overlooking Tex who is still working on the tank.
TUCKER: (Muttering to himself) Aw, crap. Caboose, she's almost done fixing Sheila. This is not good. I better radio Church and tell him what's going on. Before she turns it on and blows us all up.
CABOOSE: (Suddenly appearing next to Tucker, excitedly) Oh! Oh! Oh! Tucker, please! Please! Tucker! Tucker! Tucker! Tucker, please! Tuck-
TUCKER: (Sighs) Yes, you can be the one who radios Church. Just make it quick. And don't say anything stupid.
CABOOSE: (Beaming) Thanks, man. You're the best! (He turns on his radio, holding it close to his helmet.) Calling Church. Come in, Church. This is your close, personal friend, Private O'Malley.
YOU ARE READING
Red vs Blue (Male OC Insert)
FanfictionYou were one of the first freelancers and one of the best you could never fill a mission no matter what happens you always succeed no matter who you fight you always come out on top. You've lost a lot of people you care about in your life along with...
