INT. O'MALLEY'S LAIR - DAY
Fade in to the Blues (TUCKER, CABOOSE, CHURCH) and GHOST, standing around the unexploded bomb (ANDY). TEX is also present, still fixated on Tucker's sword.
TUCKER: (To Church, bewildered) You're trying to tell us that this bomb can talk. Seriously?
CABOOSE: (To Tucker, pointing at the bomb) I'm not telling you that, he's telling you that. Andy's very articulate.
ANDY: (The bomb's voice, a low hum) Yeah, and I'm standing right here. You can talk to me. I have excellent auditory sensors.
TUCKER: (Stares at the bomb, then at Church) If you could talk this whole time, then why didn't you just... (He shakes his head.) Wait, why'm I talking to a bomb? I'm not doing this. This is ridiculous.
ANDY: (The bomb's voice, a slight indignant tone) What, am I not good enough to talk to? Who do you think you are, some kind of "too good to talk to a bomb" type? I have feelings, you know!
CHURCH: (To Tucker) Maybe it's a good idea not to piss off the explosive device. Especially one that's currently ticking.
TEX: (Her optical sensor narrows) I agree. A volatile explosive is best handled with extreme caution.
CHURCH: (To Tex) I wasn't talking about you, Tex. I was talking about him. (He gestures to Tucker.)
TEX: (Her voice drops to a low growl) Hey, why don't you suck my-
TUCKER: (Interrupting quickly) Did Gary say anything about the bomb being able to talk? Because that seems like a pretty important detail he left out.
CHURCH: Uh, just that this whole place is going to be destroyed by us, and that Andy here is probably the thing that does it. And that we're all shisnos.
TUCKER: Oh. That's not good. That's really, really not good.
CHURCH: Wait a minute, I'm forgetting two things, wait a minute. (He walks over to Tucker and kicks him squarely in the balls.)
TUCKER: (Screaming, doubling over) What was that for?! My nuts!
CHURCH: That's for not burying my body, dipshit! (He then turns to Ghost.) Hey, Ghost.
GHOST: (Flatly) What? And why are you kicking Tucker in the groin?
CHURCH: Sheila says she loves you.
GHOST: (Confused) What?
TEX: (Her voice suddenly goes from growl to a high-pitched shriek) WHAT!!!
CHURCH: (To Tex) Wow, Tex, calm down. It's just a tank.
TEX: (Her armor visibly shaking) I WILL NOT!!! THAT BITCH THINKS SHE CAN TAKE MY GHOST!!! HE'S MINE!
GHOST: (Looks from Tex to Church, bewildered) Wait, when did I become your Ghost? And why are you yelling?
This made Tex stop and slowly turn toward Ghost. Her helmet's optical sensor blushes badly, turning a deep crimson.
TEX: (Stammering, her voice glitching slightly) N-n-nothing!! It's just... a figure of speech!
CHURCH: (A low chuckle) Holy s**t, I think this is the first time Tex has ever stuttered. And blush.
TEX: (Roaring) Shut up, Church!
TUCKER: (Still clutching his groin, but now curious) How do you get all the girls, Ghost?! What's your secret?!
GHOST: (To Tex, exasperated) Shut up, Tucker. Tex, we'll talk about this later! (To Church and Andy) And, Church or Andy, whoever was about to talk next, please continue. Before I lose my mind.
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Red vs Blue (Male OC Insert)
FanfictionYou were one of the first freelancers and one of the best you could never fill a mission no matter what happens you always succeed no matter who you fight you always come out on top. You've lost a lot of people you care about in your life along with...
