Season 3 Episode 46: We're Being Watched

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INT. O'MALLEY'S LAIR - DAY

Fade in on DOC (AS O'MALLEY) behind a newly repaired turret, maniacally laughing. LOPEZ's head is nearby, still tied up.

O'MALLEY: (Maniacal laughter, echoing) Yeeees, this place is coming along nicely. Excellent work repairing the turrets, Lopez. My reign of terror will be glorious!

LOPEZ: (His voice robotic and monotone) Gracias. El trabajar manual me encanta. Siempre es un placer servir a la causa de la dominación mundial. (Thank you. I find manual labor stimulating. It's always a pleasure to serve the cause of world domination.)

DOC: I still say a flowerbox would have been a bit more neighborly. And some welcome mats.

O'MALLEY: (Snaps) Oh, shut up, you fool! We are building an evil lair, not a suburban paradise!

DOC: Hey, we should start a neighborhood association. It's just like a government, but run by housewives and old people. So it's a lot more efficient at controlling your lives. And enforcing lawn care regulations.

O'MALLEY: (Roaring) Shut up, get out of my head! You're giving me a headache!

DOC: Technically, it's my head. But I don't mind sharing. Don't you remember that talk we had about sharing? About being good roommates?

O'MALLEY: (Screaming) Shut up!

EXT. UNKNOWN LOCATION - DAY

Cut to a strange red soldier (THE RED ZEALOT) running toward... something. He's still wearing his tattered armor.

RED ZEALOT: (Shouting, ecstatic) At last! My pilgrimage is over! I have reached the promised land! The temple of the Holy One!

O'MALLEY: (Running to the ledge of his new base, through the whirring fan, looking down) Who is that. Oh no. Not this buffoon! How did he get here? Did he follow the smell of evil?

LOPEZ: (Flatly, from his position) Él estaba cerca de la bomba, cuando quemó. Probablemente fue soplado cerca por la explosión. (He was near the bomb, when it burned. He probably was blown nearby by the explosion.)

O'MALLEY: (Shouting down) Hellooooo. What do you want? State your business!

RED ZEALOT: (Kneeling, bowing his head) The disembodied voice of God! I hear you, Holy One! I have made it to the temple and await your command!

O'MALLEY: (Annoyed, waving his hands) Up here- Helloooo. Red Moron. Eyes up, chop-chop! I'm not a voice, I'm a person!

RED ZEALOT: Oh. Greetings! Are you the gatekeeper of the temple? Or perhaps a very large, talking rock?

DOC: (From inside O'Malley's helmet, whispering) Us? No, we just moved in. Can you help us move a couch? And do you know any good restaurants nearby? I'm craving a good vegan burger.

O'MALLEY: (To Doc, through gritted teeth) Just a second. (To Doc) Listen, you fool, let me handle this. I'm the master of manipulation!

DOC: I don't know, you haven't been the best choice when it comes to making friends. Maybe I should try. I'm very good at small talk.

O'MALLEY: Nonsense! With the proper handling, this fellow will make an excellent stooge. And I'm the one here with the most experience training Stooges. Isn't that right, Lopez...

LOPEZ: (A mechanical chuckle) Nyuk, nyuk. (Nyuk, nyuk.)

O'MALLEY: You see!? He agrees!

DOC: Okay, you can handle this, but I get to hang my motivational posters in the living room. Hang in there, kitty! And "Teamwork makes the dream work!"

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