Red vs Blue (Male OC Insert)

Season 1 Chapter 4: Head BNF in Charge

EXT. BLUE BASE - DAY

CHURCH, TUCKER, and the SOLDIER IN BLUE ARMOR are standing next to the newly arrived tank, just outside the base.

CHURCH: (A rare, almost wistful tone in his voice) Yeah, I'll let you in on a little secret, I've uh... I've actually got a girl back home.

TUCKER: (Raises an eyebrow, even though it's hidden by his helmet) Oh yeah? Girlfriend or wife? Don't tell me you're a married man, Church. That'd ruin your whole grumpy schtick.

CHURCH: (Scoffs) No, man, she's just my girlfriend, ya know? We were gonna get married, but I got shipped out, and... ah, you know how it works. The whole military thing. It sucks.

TUCKER: (Shrugs) Oh, well, you gonna marry her when you get back? Assuming we ever do get back. Which, let's be honest, is a pretty big assumption. This place is a black hole of careers.

BLUE ARMOR: (Interjecting, oblivious, a slight drawl in his voice) I'm not gonna get married. My dad always said, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?"

CHURCH: (His helmet snaps towards the rookie, voice dangerously low, a vein throbbing in his neck) Hey, rookie... did you just call my girlfriend a cow? Because I'm pretty sure you just called my girlfriend a cow.

TUCKER: (Snickering, nudging Church with his elbow) No, I think he called her a slut! That's way worse, Church! He's implying she's easy!

CHURCH: (Turns fully to the rookie, his voice rising, a tremor of rage) I'll tell you what, newb, I could sit out here and listen to you insult my girlfriend all day long, but as it turns out, I got a lot more important job for you to do. A very important job. More important than anything you've ever done.

ROOKIE: (Stands a little straighter, eager) Great! I'm ready for anything, sir! Just tell me where to go! I've been training for this!

CHURCH: (Sighs, rubbing the side of his helmet) See, we've got this General. A very important General. He's like, super important. Top brass.

TUCKER: (Nods knowingly) Right, the General guy. The one who's super important. And kinda scary.

CHURCH: ...Who likes to come by and make random inspections of bases. Unannounced. He just shows up. So what I'm gonna have you do, is I'm gonna have you go in the base, and stand right next to the flag at attention, just in case he decides to come by. It's a critical post. The most critical.

ROOKIE: (Confused) When is he coming by? Do I need to set an alarm? What if I miss him?

TUCKER: (Shrugs) We never know. Could be today, could be a week from now. Could be never. That's the 'random' part. It's a surprise for everyone!

ROOKIE: (His posture slumps slightly) You want me to stand at attention for a week? Sir? My legs are gonna get tired. And what about bathroom breaks?

CHURCH: (Exasperated) You know, you don't sound very grateful. This is the most important job at the whole base. You're gonna be right there with the flag. Protecting it. It's an honor! A sacred honor!

ROOKIE: (Tilts his helmet) What's so important about the flag? It's just a piece of cloth, isn't it? Does it have a hidden message? Is it a map?

CHURCH: (Throws his hands up in exasperation) Oh, come on, don't they teach you guys anything in training?! The flag! It's... it's the flag! It's... it's blue! And it's ours!

ROOKIE: They didn't tell us anything about a flag. Why is it so important? Is it like, a secret weapon? Does it shoot lasers? Can it grant wishes?

CHURCH: (Groans, turning to Tucker, pinching his helmet) Because it's the flag, man, you know, it's the f... it's the flag, it's... Tucker, you tell him why the flag is so important. I'm having a brain aneurysm over here.