Season 1 Chapter 12: Down, But Not Out

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EXT. BLUE BASE - DAY

CABOOSE is looking through the sniper rifle at the red base. TUCKER is with him.

GRIF: (In distance, faintly, his voice a desperate whine) Son... where'd he go? Don't kill me, I'm too good looking to die! I have a family! A very lazy family!

CABOOSE: (Through the scope, a tone of awe) Man... he is really kicking their asses. Look at him go! He's like a tiny, black tornado!

TUCKER: (Sighs, adjusting his helmet) How come I never get the fucking sniper rifle? I bet I could hit something. Probably.

CABOOSE: (Lowers the rifle, turning to Tucker, a wide-eyed grin) I'm really glad Tex is on our team and not theirs. He's super cool!

TUCKER: (Nods, a rare moment of agreement) Sure makes things a lot easier on us. Less running, more sitting. I like sitting.

CABOOSE: Yeah. I think switching Tex for Church was a good trade. Best trade ever!

TUCKER: (A beat of thought, then a slow, dawning smirk) It definitely seems like your killing Church is starting to work out for us. You're a genius, Caboose!

CABOOSE: (Puffs out his chest, beaming) Ya know, ya think so? You know, I was gonna say something but uh, well you know, uh... nuh... (He trails off, unable to articulate his thoughts.)

TUCKER: (Impatiently) Did Tex get in the base? Is he still out there?

CABOOSE: (Raises the rifle, looks through the scope, sees Tex enter the red base) Yeah. He just walked right in.

INT. BLUE BASE - FLAG STAND - DAY

Suddenly, with a shimmering effect, the blue flag reappears on its stand.

FREAKY GAME VOICE: (Deep, synthesized, echoing) Blue team, flag returned.

TUCKER: (Jumps, startled, looking around) What the... who said that?!

CHURCH: (His ghostly form shimmers into existence near the flag stand, clears his throat loudly) Sorry, that was me. I uh, I guess I had something stuck in my throat. Your flag is back, by the way.

CABOOSE: (Eyes wide, pointing) Hey... it's Church! You're back!

CHURCH: (Sighs, exasperated) Yeah, it's me. Hey, Caboose. Don't touch me.

CABOOSE: Hey Church, what're you up to? Did you get a new color? You look... glowy.

CHURCH: (A frustrated, drawn-out groan) Caboose, ah-huh-huh, I'm not really here to make small-talk, okay? How'd you guys manage to get your flag back? I thought it was gone forever.

TUCKER: (Shifts awkwardly, trying to play it cool) Wh, what? Oh, th, that flag? We've always had that. It was just... misplaced. In a very obvious spot.

CHURCH: (His ghostly form flickers with irritation) Tucker, who do you think you're trying to fool? Hey, wait a second... Where's Tex?

TUCKER: (Stammering, trying to remember) I'm not really sure, he said he was gonna go to the store, something about uh, Elbow Grease. And Headlight Fluid. For a Puma.

CHURCH: (His ghostly form turns translucent with disbelief) Oh great. This is so typical! What was the one thing I told you guys the last time I appeared?! The one thing!

CABOOSE: (Thinks hard, then brightens) That Sidewinder is cold?!

CHURCH: (Groans) Nuhhhh, what was the other one thing I told you? The important one?

TUCKER: (Hesitantly) Not to let him get involved? That he was bad news?

CHURCH: (Snaps his ghostly fingers) Right! And what did you do?!

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