EXT. GULCH - BEHIND ROCK - DAY
CHURCH and TUCKER are hiding behind a rock, bullets hitting the canyon wall behind them, kicking up dust and sparks.
CHURCH: (Shouting over the gunfire, exasperated) My God, doesn't that thing ever run out of bullets?! This is ridiculous! Are they just going to sit there all day?!
TUCKER: (Crouching low, voice muffled) You know, in hindsight, we probably should have brought the tank. Just saying. It has a bigger gun.
CHURCH: (Sarcastically, glaring at Tucker's helmet) Hey, Tucker, what good is a tank gonna do us if nobody here knows how to drive it, huh? You wanna volunteer to learn on the fly while we're under fire?!
TUCKER: (Peeking over the rock, then ducking back) Yeah, I can see how hiding behind a rock, getting shot at, is a much better strategy. Real genius, Church. Top-tier tactical thinking.
CHURCH: (A beat of silence, then a grudging sigh) Well, yeah, but... oh man, I guess I gotta give that one to ya. It's not ideal.
INT. BLUE BASE - TANK - DAY
The ROOKIE hops into the tank's driver's seat. The tank canopy closes with a heavy THUD, sealing him inside. The tank's internal systems hum to life.
TANK: (A calm, synthesized female voice, echoing slightly in the confined space) Hello, and thank you for activating the M808V Main Battle Tank. You may call me Sheila.
ROOKIE: (Eyes wide, a nervous chuckle) Hello. Sheila. Big tank lady. Wow, you're... you're very polite.
SHEILA: Would you like me to run the tutorial program? It is highly recommended for non-certified personnel.
ROOKIE: (Eagerly) Oh, that'd be very nice. Thank you. I'm a quick learner! Teach me everything!
SHEILA: Tutorial program activated. This program is intended to instruct non-certified personnel in the use of the Scorpion class tank. Let's begin with some driving. Please locate the primary drive controls.
ROOKIE: (Fumbling with controls) Okay. Got it. This is so cool!
EXT. GULCH - DAY
SIMMONS is still firing the jeep's gun, a relentless stream of bullets. GRIF is on the ground behind him, trying to get his attention.
GRIF: (Shouting over the gunfire) Simmons! SIMMONS! Can you hear me?!
Simmons stops firing, the sudden silence almost deafening. He steps down from the turret, rubbing his helmet.
SIMMONS: (Shouting back, still ringing in his ears) WHAT?! What do you want, Grif?! I was just getting warmed up!
In the background, the faint rumble of a tank engine can be heard. The tank itself rolls slowly into view behind them, unnoticed.
GRIF: (Rubbing his own helmet) Man, that thing is loud! My ears are ringing! I think I'm deaf!
SIMMONS: (Still shouting) OKAY! I CAN'T HEAR YOU! WHAT ARE WE DOING?!
GRIF: (Walks closer, lowers his voice, pointing towards the rock where Church and Tucker are hiding) Come on, let's sneak around the back of the rock and get 'em out. They're probably cowering.
SIMMONS: (Nods, still a bit too loud) OKAY! GOOD PLAN!
GRIF: (Wincing) Keep it down! Jesus. Let's go, before they figure out what's going on. We need the element of surprise.
INT. BLUE BASE - TANK - DAY
The ROOKIE is having SHEILA stranded on a tall rock, turning and trying to get off of it.
SHEILA: Now that you've mastered driving the M808V, let's move on to some of the safety features. Such as emergency braking and collision avoidance.
ROOKIE: (Panicked, pulling levers) No, no, wait, go back! (He manages to unstrand the tank with a jolt.) Why are there six pedals if there are only four directions?! This is confusing!
EXT. GULCH - BEHIND ROCK - DAY
CHURCH peeks out from the side of the rock, TUCKER standing behind it.
CHURCH: (Whispering, a hint of relief) Psst, hey, they stopped firing. Maybe they ran out of ammo. Or got bored.
TUCKER: (Whispering back, confused) Why are you whispering? Are they going to hear us?
CHURCH: (Whispering, shrugging his helmet) Uhm... I don't know. It just seemed appropriate. It's a stealth situation now.
EXT. GULCH - FOOT OF CLIFF - DAY
SIMMONS and GRIF are standing at the foot of a cliff, trying to find a way around.
GRIF: (Frustrated) Aw, crap, I don't think we're gonna be able to get around this way. This cliff is too steep. We should have just stayed in the Warthog.
SIMMONS: (Rubbing his helmet) Tell me again, uh, why did we get out of the jeep? I thought we had a plan.
The TANK rolls up right behind them, its massive treads rumbling softly.
GRIF: (Turns, sees the tank, eyes widening in horror) Well, I guess it was this or sit there and watch you shoot rocks all day long. This is much worse.
The Tank's turret slowly swivels, looking at Grif, then at Simmons.
SIMMONS: (Oblivious, still rubbing his helmet) Well, at least that was fun. I got some good target practice in.
Grif and Simmons both turn at once, their helmets snapping towards the immense tank.
GRIF: (Voice a terrified squeak) Hoolyy crap. What in God's name is that thing?! It's huge!
EXT. GULCH - DAY
Cut to CHURCH and TUCKER, looking at the now vacant Warthog.
CHURCH: (Suspicious) Tucker, don't be stupid. They're just trying to draw us out. It's a trap. They're probably hiding somewhere with shotguns.
TUCKER: (Points at the Warthog) No they're not, look: they left the jeep. They're gone. They just abandoned it. It's right there, all alone.
CHURCH: (Hesitates, looking from the Warthog to the empty cliffs) Well, I don't know about this. It seems pretty fishy, but... alright screw it, let's go get it. It's a free Warthog! What's the worst that could happen?
INT. BLUE BASE - TANK - DAY
Cut to the view from inside the tank, the turret slowly homing in on Grif's head, an audible target lock tone.
GRIF: (Voice muffled from outside, still trying to be stealthy) Dude, hold still. I don't think it sees us. Just stay calm.
The tank's targeting system emits a final, solid tone, indicating a lock on Grif's helmet.
YOU ARE READING
Red vs Blue (Male OC Insert)
FanficYou were one of the first freelancers and one of the best you could never fill a mission no matter what happens you always succeed no matter who you fight you always come out on top. You've lost a lot of people you care about in your life along with...
