EXT. CANYON - DAY
TUCKER in SHEILA is advancing on the red base, with GHOST & LOPEZ running alongside the tank.
TUCKER: (Screaming over the tank's engine) Ah, Sheila, we have to slow down or we're gonna run into that jeep! And probably Grif!
SHEILA: (Her calm, synthesized voice) Please, take evasive action, Private Tucker. Please, take evasive action. Collision imminent.
TUCKER: You take evasive action! I don't know how! Hey Lopez, help me out, can't you talk to her?! You're a robot!
LOPEZ: (Running alongside, his optical sensor flickering, speaking Spanish) Perdóneme, pero no puedo hablar con mujeres bella. (I'm sorry. I'm not good at talking to beautiful women.)
LOPEZ: Porque sudo. (I get sweaty.)
SHEILA: (Her voice sharp, directed at Lopez) Only Ghost is allowed to call me beautiful, you stupid robot. And you're getting my treads dirty.
EXT. RED BASE - DAY
Cut to DONUT and GRIF huddling behind the jeep for warmth (hiding from the tank).
DONUT: (To Grif, a resigned sigh) Well, old buddy, it looks like this is the end for us. Since we're gonna die anyway, there's only one thing left for us to do. Grif-
GRIF: (Eyes wide, cutting him off) If you actually suggest what I think you're about to suggest, Donut, I'll just have to kill myself right now.
DONUT: (A sudden burst of energy) Let's make a break for it!
GRIF: (Sigh of relief, then a grin) In that case, let's go on three. That's worked well for me in the past. It's a classic.
DONUT: Okay, you count.
GRIF: Fine, but don't look at me while I count, because, I get nervous. And I might mess up the numbers.
Grif turns away from Donut, who immediately takes off running.
GRIF: One... Two... (He turns around and sees Donut has already fled, disappearing into the base.) That son of a bitch. He beat me at my own game.
TUCKER: (From the tank, seeing Grif's predicament) Curses!
The tank hits the jeep, sending it and Grif flying through the air, as well as Lopez, who was still running nearby.
LOPEZ: (In flight, screaming in Spanish) Ayayay... Frejoles. (Beans.)
Donut runs into the red base, where SIMMONS and SARGE are waiting.
SARGE: (To Donut, bewildered) Good golly Miss Molly, what is going on out there? Did you just get hit by a bus?
DONUT: (Panting, terrified) Sir. The Blues are attacking with their tank. Th-they blew up the Warthog. Again.
SIMMONS: (To Sarge, a thoughtful frown) I wonder what jeeps ever did to those guys. They seem to have a vendetta.
DONUT: Grif and I just barely had enough time to make it outta there. Right Grif? Uh, uh... Grif? (He looks around, realizing Grif isn't there.)
INT. CABOOSE'S MIND - DAY
Fade to Caboose's mind. CHURCH and TEX (are walking through the chaotic landscape.
CHURCH: (To Tex, exasperated) Why the hell did they pair me up with you?
MENTAL CHURCH: (The floating light blue armor appears, whiny voice) I want to keep my eye on you! I don't trust gigantic turds to try and steal my best friend, you rimjob! I'm the original!
YOU ARE READING
Red vs Blue (Male OC Insert)
FanfictionYou were one of the first freelancers and one of the best you could never fill a mission no matter what happens you always succeed no matter who you fight you always come out on top. You've lost a lot of people you care about in your life along with...
