EXT. O'MALLEY'S BASE - DAY
Fade in on SARGE talking to various "dirtbags" (GRIF, SIMMONS, TUCKER, DONUT, GHOST, CABOOSE). They are all gathered near the Warthog.
SARGE: (To the group, authoritative) Okay, listen up, dirtbags. If we're gonna invade this fortress, we need a good gameplan. I have got two options we can use. Pay attention, this could save your lives. Or at least mine.
Cut to a black and white re-enactment of Sarge's plan. Stick figures run across the screen.
SARGE: (Voiceover) Number one, we all run straight at the base in a single file line, screaming at the top of our lungs. The enemy will be so flabbergasted, by the time they have a chance to regroup, we'll already be inside. It's a classic, overwhelming assault!
Cut back to Sarge and the "dirtbags."
TUCKER: (Scoffs) Oh yeah, right, they're not gonna get surprised, Sarge, they're just gonna start mowing us down.
SARGE: (A sly grin) That's the inherent beauty of the single file line. They can only kill the person in front. So if we order from least important to most important, with Tucker being in the front and me being in the back, then we just might make it through. It's a statistically sound strategy!
SIMMONS: (Raises a hand) Don't you think Caboose should be in the back, sir, since he's the one carrying the bomb? He's a bit... unpredictable.
SARGE: (Shakes his head) Nope, Caboose is in front of me. We need someone in back who can objectively evaluate how the plan is working. And provide moral support.
TUCKER: How're you gonna know if it's not working, Sarge? Besides the obvious flying body parts?
SARGE: If Caboose dies, I'll know we're in trouble, and immediately abort. He's our canary in the coal mine. A very large, blue canary.
CABOOSE: (Holding the bomb, cheerfully) I think that's a good plan. I like being important.
GHOST: (Flatly) Kid, that is not a good plan, because you, me, and everyone else, will die. Horribly. And probably mess up my armor.
CABOOSE: (A sudden frown) Oh...
GRIF: (To Sarge) Sarge, while that's the most retarded idea I've ever heard, I just wanted to thank you for not putting me in front of the line. I appreciate the thought.
SARGE: (To Grif, a dry tone) Don't get misty, Francine. We'll have already killed you and used your corpse to jam up the windmill. It's a two-birds-one-stone situation.
Cut to a black and white re-enactment of Grif's lifeless corpse riding up on the windmill, arms flailing.
GRIF'S LIFELESS CORPSE: (A muffled, gurgling sound) Bleah!!!!!!!!!!!
Cut back to Sarge addressing the audience (the other soldiers).
SARGE: I think we can all agree, given our current situation, it's the perfect plan. Simple, effective, and with minimal risk to me.
EVERYONE: ........................... (Silence. Crickets chirp.)
SARGE: Okay, well, let me tell you about my other plan. Using parts from the Warthog-
GRIF: (To Tex, whispering) I'm hoping you've got a better idea, Tex. His plans usually involve me dying.
SARGE: (Under Grif's line, booming) We build what I like to call "The Grif Cannon."
GRIF: (Eyes wide) Hoh man...
SARGE: Utilizing the power of the Grif Cannon, we make a Grif-sized hole in the outer wall. ...Or we paint it a very disgusting color. Either way, it'll be effective.
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Red vs Blue (Male OC Insert)
FanfictionYou were one of the first freelancers and one of the best you could never fill a mission no matter what happens you always succeed no matter who you fight you always come out on top. You've lost a lot of people you care about in your life along with...
