V I X E N ~ may 20, 2017
i woke up and gus was cuddled against me. i thought that i, again, just had a weird dream that he wasn't by my side when i fell asleep last night so i excused the weird feeling that it was true to the back of my mind and went to the kitchen.
i poured myself some lemonade and went through my phone.
the headlines caught me instantly.
YOUNG RAPPER LIL PEEP CAUGHT WITH POP STAR BELLA THORNE AT LOS ANGELES HOME
i tap onto the link the moment i see it, photos with bella thorne covered the site. it was true. and the photos were from last night reported TMZ. he had snuck out last night. of course he wanted bella thorne, she was famous, rich, mysterious. a druggie. she was probably exactly what gus wanted and i was just a girl for the side.
i called esha while i still had the time to myself to make the phone call. she answered right away.
"i saw it," she didn't let me speak first.
"i don't know what to think," i was lost for words.
"i mean maybe he just went to a party with her last night but sources said they were seen coming out of her house together so sounds like he did the dirty with her," i knew she was right.
"i don't want to admit that, i can't talk to hi-"
"no you have to talk to him the articles are everywhere and if you need to come back out here i will get you the first flight out and make gus pay for it all," she is affirmative on the other line.
"you have to say something," she clicks her tongue.
"i know, i am going to right now, i'll call you later."
"tell me it all!" and she hangs up the line.
i wake gus up. i give him some breakfast and let him wake up like it's a normal day. he starts to tell me about how he has to go to the studio when i bring it up.
"is it every time you say you're going to the studio that you go see bella thorne or just last night?" i cross my arms over my chest.
"wh-"
"there are articles and photos every where gus i know where you went last night," i roll my eyes.
"it's not what it looks like vixen, i was picking her up for a party with our label i didn't touch her in that way, i just took you on a fucking date for our one month," he walks towards me.
"you can come to every single studio session from now on if you don't believe me," he pulls me into him.
"i am coming today, i am suspicious," i squint my eyes and walk off to the bedroom.
i put on a black long sleeve turtle neck and a space jams distressed tee shirt. it has some holes and is faded but it matched the look of it.
i topped it off with some nike pro shorts and some chains. i put on my chain air force 1's and walked out with my makeup fresh. i was trying really hard to make my makeup look effortless and take less time because gus was always busy and never told me the plans beforehand.
when i stepped outside to find him the car was waiting there and he was already dressed in some plaid orange toned pants and a white shirt with lettering that complimented the colorful pants.
"ready gorgeous?" i nod my head not responding back, i was still upset about last night.
around me he was to himself, and then he went and did that without telling me, i knew it was some shady shit.
when we got to the studio bryant and his female manager were standing there.
"gus we have decided we are sending you and vixen to london fashion week, i want you to get out of los angles and move out there, vixen can come with you and live out there but it's time you take some time," bryant hand him an envelope.
when he opens it, two tickets are revealed.
"it's not a choice for gus, vixen will have to decide by tomorrow night," they left leaving gus and i alone for a bit.
"you don't have to come if you don't want to but it's kind of a dream come true," it was a bad time to ask me to move to another country. i was still mad at gus.
"i am not going to hold you back from your dreams, i want you to go i wouldn't tell you not to but as for me coming, i will have to see," i sit down on the couch as people start to come in to work with gus.
it was obvious he was off today. he didn't want to be sitting there in the studio almost and he kept wanting to do a lot of retakes saying it wasn't right or not how he wanted it to sound.
when he looked over me, i knew when he did, i made sure to make an extra effort to be occupied on my phone. mostly it was to give him a taste of his own medicine.
lilpeep4ever: ur why gus is doing drugs and ur not even stopping him thank god he is moving on
i scroll out of it.
vanessa.reynolds.1453: leave lil peep alone he doesn't want u!!!
i swipe out and turn my phone off excusing myself for the bathroom. i look in the mirror and pull my hair back. i needed esha.
so i dialed her number.
"i am surprised you answered," i chuckle when the phone stops ringing.
"i would never miss a call, what's up?"
"he told me that he just took her to a party last night and it was nothing more and then he asked me to move to london," instantly the call turns to a facetime.
"london?" she looks at me shocked as she sits on the couch of our apartment in new york.
"yeah, i don't want to but i know he wants me to," there is one condition that i would do it.
"i would only go if you could come," i conclude.
"i would kill to go to london and not have to work but we would have to sell the apartment," she looks around biting her nails.
"i am going to tell gus that," the bathroom door slams open and there is an angry gus.
"i will call you back esha," i hang up the phone and look him in the eye.
"tell me what?" he rolls his eyes at me.
"that i would only move to london if esha came, gus what is wrong?" i walk over to him but he storms to the other side of the bathroom.
"gus, calm down please," i walk over to him as he takes a seat on the floor and tucks his head into his hands.
"i cheated vixen, i am so sorry. i don't know what i was thinking when she texted me i just wanted to have those moments of fame but i can't sit there and watch you ignore me or not listen to all the songs i am writing about how i fucked up and i just want you to love me again," i sit beside him but refuse to touch him.
"gus can you just be honest with me," he looks at me now after rubbing his eyes slightly.
"are you going to do this again? are you going to do this constantly? am i wasting my time on someone that is just using me?"
he shakes his head.
"vixen, i love you. i suck at being loyal, most my songs are about how i fuck everything up because of it. but give me some time and i'll work on it. i promise i am working on it."
